Mei Xian, you inspired me to do this. Haha.
Before the month ends, I'd like to just review what's been going on for the past month.
1. Aunt left for NZ at the end of September. So I was kinda 'home alone' for alternate weeks and days. My mum came down for some days every two weeks. And as I mentioned before, my aunt's friend came on and off as well. Without them, I really could've just quit college and stay at home. The dogs created lots of problems. Don't wanna elaborate further. I don't like dogs anymore. LOL.
2. We started running Youth Alpha in college on Mondays. The weekend away's coming soon. Can't wait. =)
3. Had semester exams for the past week and there's still one more paper left.
4. Football. It was a depressing run of defeats. 4 defeats in a row that was redeemed by the win against MU just last Sunday. That really lifted my spirits. Although right now, it will all account to nothing if we fall back again.. =/
5. There were certain things that happened that really made me smile. But it came with a price. And now I'm not so sure if I can smile over those moments anymore. Yet the pain came with important lessons of faith and trust. And if all of it will bring me closer to Him, I'm more than willing.
6. Through all that happened; I realized that I've been blessed with such a great bunch of friends especially my college peeps. Seriously, I didn't expect to have made so many good friends in such a short time. You guys know who you are =).
Overall, it's been quite a pretty normal month. Though the experiences were the hardest I've been hit with so far this year; God has been faithful. And my heart will still sing.
Job 1:21 - the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
inexplicable
Watched The Phantom Of The Opera today; I know I'm very outdated; the show came out 5 years ago. Haha. I borrowed the disc from a friend last year and I just only watched it this afternoon. I guess the reason why it took me so long was partly cause I was lazy and also cause I thought it was gonna be boring. But it was far from that and I really like it now. I love musicals and so I found it really nice. =). And one of my dear friend's gonna pass me the soundtrack. Hah.
So I have only one paper left on Monday and as usual, I haven't studied for it. It's much harder to get myself to study when I come back home. Nvm, I'll read up tomorrow. I will.
I have many questions that I know will be left unanswered. There are many things we can't explain; even more we don't understand. Just when I thought it was fading, it had to happen. I used to wish it would but after last week; I'm not so sure anymore. Honestly I must admit I was happy for a while; but reality slammed itself in front of me. But I'm much braver now. And because of His mercy, I thank God that my papers were not affected. There's a reason why He allowed such things to happen; and indeed He carried me through it. And I know He will continue to bring me through.
So I have only one paper left on Monday and as usual, I haven't studied for it. It's much harder to get myself to study when I come back home. Nvm, I'll read up tomorrow. I will.
I have many questions that I know will be left unanswered. There are many things we can't explain; even more we don't understand. Just when I thought it was fading, it had to happen. I used to wish it would but after last week; I'm not so sure anymore. Honestly I must admit I was happy for a while; but reality slammed itself in front of me. But I'm much braver now. And because of His mercy, I thank God that my papers were not affected. There's a reason why He allowed such things to happen; and indeed He carried me through it. And I know He will continue to bring me through.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
learning to breathe
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
Had Business Studies paper yesterday. It was tough. Kinda freaked out when I saw the first question itself, but after muttering a prayer He really did bring peace and it was all right. Didn't really have enough time. But anyway, what's done is done.
Two more papers tomorrow; Econs and Psychology. I have no idea why they have to put these two on the same day; thought it was just gonna be for trials but turns out UK has set it to be on the same day for the Jan A-Level exams too.
I realized that sleeping comes with studying. As most of you know, I don't study unless I really have to. So it's always burning the midnight oil. And yes I've said I wanted to change but its not something that can be easily done. I need motivation. Hah. Anyway, I realized that during the days when I actually get down to studying, I will end up sleeping more. So much for being hardworking!
Will be more relieved after tomorrow; there'll only be Lit on Monday; going back tomorrow evening. Can't wait. And oh, Liverpool's playing agaisnt Arsenal at 3.45 later (Carling Cup match); I really don't know if I should watch or not. I really, really want to, but I've got two papers tomorrow; not one. Someone tell me what to do. Maybe I'll just watch the second half. But then again, watching football sometimes can be unhealthy; you could get 'heart attacks'.
Anyhow, I'd better get off now. Till then. =)
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
All of my regrets are nothing new
Had Business Studies paper yesterday. It was tough. Kinda freaked out when I saw the first question itself, but after muttering a prayer He really did bring peace and it was all right. Didn't really have enough time. But anyway, what's done is done.
Two more papers tomorrow; Econs and Psychology. I have no idea why they have to put these two on the same day; thought it was just gonna be for trials but turns out UK has set it to be on the same day for the Jan A-Level exams too.
I realized that sleeping comes with studying. As most of you know, I don't study unless I really have to. So it's always burning the midnight oil. And yes I've said I wanted to change but its not something that can be easily done. I need motivation. Hah. Anyway, I realized that during the days when I actually get down to studying, I will end up sleeping more. So much for being hardworking!
Will be more relieved after tomorrow; there'll only be Lit on Monday; going back tomorrow evening. Can't wait. And oh, Liverpool's playing agaisnt Arsenal at 3.45 later (Carling Cup match); I really don't know if I should watch or not. I really, really want to, but I've got two papers tomorrow; not one. Someone tell me what to do. Maybe I'll just watch the second half. But then again, watching football sometimes can be unhealthy; you could get 'heart attacks'.
Anyhow, I'd better get off now. Till then. =)
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
Monday, October 26, 2009
lest we forget
I'm supposed to be studying but I want to post this first. So before I go (I really will), here're some pictures from the awesome match yesterday. Haha. =D. Trust me, it's not just us Red fans that are ecstatic; I can bet at least half the football world is
Proof that Manure fans really threw beach balls to the pitch. (How sick)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
3rd and counting
It's the best thing that ever happened this week, maybe this month too. Or maybe in a few months. I've had quite a depressing week, thanks to this, I'm ecstatic. Liv beat ManUtd.. For the third time in a row; it's such a great feeling. The past 4 defeats were very depressing, yet I told some people that if we could just beat MU, it wouldn't be so bad anymore and true enough! And this is the 3rd time back to back that we've beat them. Let's see if any MU fans would still dare to say the match was a lucky win. Right back at you!
I planned to study after the match, but I guess I'm too happy to want to look at books right now. Let me enjoy first la. =D. It's a good thing my first paper's only on Tuesday. Hah.
Till then!
p.s: Was browsing through the Forums on the official site and found some completely hilarious remarks made by the fans. Haha. Too many cracked me up.
"Two Michaels on for Man U - Owen and Jackson." (It's understood by most people that Nani looks like one of the Jacksons.)
And someone else said playing against Manure is like a rugby league match. LOL!!
"see ya later vidic. hahahahahahah"
I planned to study after the match, but I guess I'm too happy to want to look at books right now. Let me enjoy first la. =D. It's a good thing my first paper's only on Tuesday. Hah.
Till then!
p.s: Was browsing through the Forums on the official site and found some completely hilarious remarks made by the fans. Haha. Too many cracked me up.
"Two Michaels on for Man U - Owen and Jackson." (It's understood by most people that Nani looks like one of the Jacksons.)
And someone else said playing against Manure is like a rugby league match. LOL!!
"see ya later vidic. hahahahahahah"
Friday, October 23, 2009
i don't know
Can someone just come and shoot me knock me on the head?
Maybe not literally but I need a good shaking; cause I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing and I don't know if I should continue to do what I'm doing.
I tell myself not to but I end up doing it. I tell myself not to go but I end up going. I tell myself to stop but I just carry on. And if you're wondering, I'm not doing anything wrong; it's just something that's gonna end up hurting more at the end of the day. Yet I still want to. And I can't understand why.
Anyway, college was alright today. Alpha at CF was pretty good today, also cause we had a special guest to speak; James' youth pastor I think. Amos, Eunice, Eng Hoe and me went for lunch at KFC in Sentral after CF before; been quite long since I ate there. Had a good time; Eunice was laughing at nearly every single thing; I used to be like that too but I kinda lost it somewhere along the way. Haha. And Amos kept annoying us by starting to say something but never really finishing it.
And as always, I haven't really studied though trials are next week. I'll start tonight, hopefully. With all the things that are taking place, it's really hard. I've got to stay focused. I have a cold now and it seems to be getting worse; hopefully it'll be gone soon.
Your love is enough.
Maybe not literally but I need a good shaking; cause I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing and I don't know if I should continue to do what I'm doing.
I tell myself not to but I end up doing it. I tell myself not to go but I end up going. I tell myself to stop but I just carry on. And if you're wondering, I'm not doing anything wrong; it's just something that's gonna end up hurting more at the end of the day. Yet I still want to. And I can't understand why.
Anyway, college was alright today. Alpha at CF was pretty good today, also cause we had a special guest to speak; James' youth pastor I think. Amos, Eunice, Eng Hoe and me went for lunch at KFC in Sentral after CF before; been quite long since I ate there. Had a good time; Eunice was laughing at nearly every single thing; I used to be like that too but I kinda lost it somewhere along the way. Haha. And Amos kept annoying us by starting to say something but never really finishing it.
And as always, I haven't really studied though trials are next week. I'll start tonight, hopefully. With all the things that are taking place, it's really hard. I've got to stay focused. I have a cold now and it seems to be getting worse; hopefully it'll be gone soon.
Your love is enough.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
my prayer
I felt slightly better today =). Even though it still hurts, I know I have all the comfort and support I could ever ask for. But through all that's happened, He's reminded me of a few things.
The fact that He allowed this to happen at this time proves that He has a purpose. There are things He wants to show me, lessons He wants to teach me; if I dwell in the hurt, His purpose would never be discovered.
It's so easy to just indulge in our miseries; to keep looking at the problem and ask God why such things are happening; if we continue, we might just give room to doubts and end up blaming God for allowing such pain. I'm not saying we must get rid of the hurts; we must not feel sad or anything; but it's all about how much you allow it to affect you and more importantly your faith.
Yes, our hurts might seem big, but He is Bigger. There's nothing too great for Him to handle, nothing too small to bring to Him.
Isaiah 40:28-31 - Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Lord, I won't ask You to take the pain away; but I will ask that You will be my strength; so that I can carry on and hold on to You. For only You can heal this broken heart, only You can satisfy. And for all my friends who are also hurting; I pray that You would touch them and in Your own way let them know that with You, everything else seems so small.. You are all we need.
p.s: The pain hasn't gone, I haven't recovered yet but one thing I know: He is faithful.
The fact that He allowed this to happen at this time proves that He has a purpose. There are things He wants to show me, lessons He wants to teach me; if I dwell in the hurt, His purpose would never be discovered.
It's so easy to just indulge in our miseries; to keep looking at the problem and ask God why such things are happening; if we continue, we might just give room to doubts and end up blaming God for allowing such pain. I'm not saying we must get rid of the hurts; we must not feel sad or anything; but it's all about how much you allow it to affect you and more importantly your faith.
Yes, our hurts might seem big, but He is Bigger. There's nothing too great for Him to handle, nothing too small to bring to Him.
Isaiah 40:28-31 - Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Lord, I won't ask You to take the pain away; but I will ask that You will be my strength; so that I can carry on and hold on to You. For only You can heal this broken heart, only You can satisfy. And for all my friends who are also hurting; I pray that You would touch them and in Your own way let them know that with You, everything else seems so small.. You are all we need.
p.s: The pain hasn't gone, I haven't recovered yet but one thing I know: He is faithful.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
i'm not okay
But I will be. I just don't know when.
It's hard to fake a smile and act as if everything's okay, when deep inside you know you're not. Cause it ended before it even began.. I laughed, I smiled, but deep inside I'm still hurting. And only my close friends in college noticed that I wasn't okay.
Maybe it's my fault; if I had known earlier, it wouldn't have come to this; it wouldn't hurt this much. But I can't blame myself for it either. I really didn't know.
Now, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know if I should stop or just act as if nothing ever happened. But if I go on like this, I'll only hurt myself. I just don't know.
It's during these times, I realize what great friends God has given me.. Especially those in college, I've barely known them; only three and a half months yet they've really been such a blessing. Especially during this period. I don't think they've ever seen me like this. And I know it hurts them as much too.. For the sake of them, I will try to cheer up. I will try to smile.. Even though it's hurting.
I know I will be healed one day, by His grace and mercy.. By His perfect love.
I'm hanging on another day,
Just to see what, You would throw my way,
I'm hanging on to the words You say,
You said that I will be okay.
You're the greatest comfort I could ever have. And that's all I need to know.
It's hard to fake a smile and act as if everything's okay, when deep inside you know you're not. Cause it ended before it even began.. I laughed, I smiled, but deep inside I'm still hurting. And only my close friends in college noticed that I wasn't okay.
Maybe it's my fault; if I had known earlier, it wouldn't have come to this; it wouldn't hurt this much. But I can't blame myself for it either. I really didn't know.
Now, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know if I should stop or just act as if nothing ever happened. But if I go on like this, I'll only hurt myself. I just don't know.
It's during these times, I realize what great friends God has given me.. Especially those in college, I've barely known them; only three and a half months yet they've really been such a blessing. Especially during this period. I don't think they've ever seen me like this. And I know it hurts them as much too.. For the sake of them, I will try to cheer up. I will try to smile.. Even though it's hurting.
I know I will be healed one day, by His grace and mercy.. By His perfect love.
I'm hanging on another day,
Just to see what, You would throw my way,
I'm hanging on to the words You say,
You said that I will be okay.
You're the greatest comfort I could ever have. And that's all I need to know.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
and the truth is
I don't know what's going on.
I just found out something; and it really hurts. It's been a long time since I've felt like this; so helpless and broken. So hurt and vulnerable.
It took some time for the tears to stop. And it's 1 week left to trials.
Deep inside, I'm hoping that it isn't true. But I don't want to live in denial. Nothing can be done, no one can be blamed. It's just the way things are.
There's still a slim chance it might not be true. I will know; soon...
When all else fails, You remain. You never change. And that itself, keeps me going.
I just found out something; and it really hurts. It's been a long time since I've felt like this; so helpless and broken. So hurt and vulnerable.
It took some time for the tears to stop. And it's 1 week left to trials.
Deep inside, I'm hoping that it isn't true. But I don't want to live in denial. Nothing can be done, no one can be blamed. It's just the way things are.
There's still a slim chance it might not be true. I will know; soon...
When all else fails, You remain. You never change. And that itself, keeps me going.
Monday, October 19, 2009
no reason to hide
We sent one of the dogs to boarding today, the noisiest one actually. What a relief to have one less dog to worry about; and hopefully we can have peaceful nights from now on.
College was alright today; didn't really feel that sleepy. Alpha course was quite cool today; started off with a challenge; Mr. Michael called out for a brave person to volunteer; Isaac went up and there was some rat trap thing. Earlier on, Mr. Michael held a carrot and touched the rat trap with it, it snapped and cut the carrot into two. Then Isaac did the same thing and after that, he was asked to put his finger; he hesitated of course though Mr. Michael kept saying nothing was going to happen. It was funny to watch the way he reacted and obviously nothing happened. And me and Marian were in charge of food today, so I ordered the Cucur I had last week when my bro came down to KL; Marian went to collect it before Alpha started cause I had class that time.
I've learnt much these days; I've been reminded of His faithfulness and love time and again. Yesterday, a friend of mine made a comment about me (if you're reading this, do know that I'm perfectly fine with it, and I have to thank you for the honesty too) that got me thinking. It wasn't anything bad, in fact, I think it's right. I know it's right. Yet I've learnt from my mistake and I know I need to be much more sensitive to the needs of the people around me. It's something only He can accomplish within me.
The time will come when all that you do would seem 'weird' to people. They might not understand you and may even condemn you for it; but if you're doing what He himself would have done, there is absolutely no reason to stop; no reason to fear. Doing His will often comes with a price; but when you know the outcome of your faith; everything else just seems unimportant.
Psalm 145:19a - He grants the desires of those who fear Him.
We've got nothing to lose, we've got no reason to hide.
We've got the answer inside of us. Its time we took the disguises off
We'll see Your glory revealed, and see Your Name lifted high
There's nobody else for us; Jesus You are the only One.
College was alright today; didn't really feel that sleepy. Alpha course was quite cool today; started off with a challenge; Mr. Michael called out for a brave person to volunteer; Isaac went up and there was some rat trap thing. Earlier on, Mr. Michael held a carrot and touched the rat trap with it, it snapped and cut the carrot into two. Then Isaac did the same thing and after that, he was asked to put his finger; he hesitated of course though Mr. Michael kept saying nothing was going to happen. It was funny to watch the way he reacted and obviously nothing happened. And me and Marian were in charge of food today, so I ordered the Cucur I had last week when my bro came down to KL; Marian went to collect it before Alpha started cause I had class that time.
I've learnt much these days; I've been reminded of His faithfulness and love time and again. Yesterday, a friend of mine made a comment about me (if you're reading this, do know that I'm perfectly fine with it, and I have to thank you for the honesty too) that got me thinking. It wasn't anything bad, in fact, I think it's right. I know it's right. Yet I've learnt from my mistake and I know I need to be much more sensitive to the needs of the people around me. It's something only He can accomplish within me.
The time will come when all that you do would seem 'weird' to people. They might not understand you and may even condemn you for it; but if you're doing what He himself would have done, there is absolutely no reason to stop; no reason to fear. Doing His will often comes with a price; but when you know the outcome of your faith; everything else just seems unimportant.
Psalm 145:19a - He grants the desires of those who fear Him.
We've got nothing to lose, we've got no reason to hide.
We've got the answer inside of us. Its time we took the disguises off
We'll see Your glory revealed, and see Your Name lifted high
There's nobody else for us; Jesus You are the only One.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
there they go again
Even as I'm typing out this post, the dogs are barking yet AGAIN.
I had one of the worst nights on Wednesday; I could barely sleep. I don't usually have problems sleeping, quite a deep sleeper actually. So Stv came down on Wednesday, and he was watching the England match at 3 am; I just woke up and the dogs were already barking; they did not stop for 2 hours; they still barked here and there after that. And with the mosquitoes biting, you get the picture.
I was so tired on Thursday during Business class especially and was struggling to stay awake; even some of my friends noticed I wasn't my usual self...
I'm not complaining. It's just frustrating sometimes. I had a good break in Ipoh and caught up with my sleep. My mum came back with me today, she comes on alternate weeks to help out.
I can't remember myself feeling so irritated, so annoyed, so impatient. I don't think there was ever such a bad instance; and look here now; its dogs!!! I need patience.. I can barely take it anymore.
But thank God for my supportive family, my mum who has sacrificed so much to come down here and stay for a few days; Michelle (my aunt's friend) who has been coming on and off to help with the dogs. All 3 of us are stressed out in one way or another and God has been our main source of strength and comfort during this period. Another month to go. I know it doesn't sound so bad; not till you actually go through it. We're not dog lovers, 6 dogs are not easy to take care of especially when there's so much to look out for.
Sorry for ranting so much. Just thought it would be good to let it out here. And remembering how He has been so faithful throughout everything. Truly, He's everything I ever need.
I could never comprehend the sacrifice You made; why You would choose to give up Your life for a wretched person like me; and this is why; I'm laying it all down.
I had one of the worst nights on Wednesday; I could barely sleep. I don't usually have problems sleeping, quite a deep sleeper actually. So Stv came down on Wednesday, and he was watching the England match at 3 am; I just woke up and the dogs were already barking; they did not stop for 2 hours; they still barked here and there after that. And with the mosquitoes biting, you get the picture.
I was so tired on Thursday during Business class especially and was struggling to stay awake; even some of my friends noticed I wasn't my usual self...
I'm not complaining. It's just frustrating sometimes. I had a good break in Ipoh and caught up with my sleep. My mum came back with me today, she comes on alternate weeks to help out.
I can't remember myself feeling so irritated, so annoyed, so impatient. I don't think there was ever such a bad instance; and look here now; its dogs!!! I need patience.. I can barely take it anymore.
But thank God for my supportive family, my mum who has sacrificed so much to come down here and stay for a few days; Michelle (my aunt's friend) who has been coming on and off to help with the dogs. All 3 of us are stressed out in one way or another and God has been our main source of strength and comfort during this period. Another month to go. I know it doesn't sound so bad; not till you actually go through it. We're not dog lovers, 6 dogs are not easy to take care of especially when there's so much to look out for.
Sorry for ranting so much. Just thought it would be good to let it out here. And remembering how He has been so faithful throughout everything. Truly, He's everything I ever need.
I could never comprehend the sacrifice You made; why You would choose to give up Your life for a wretched person like me; and this is why; I'm laying it all down.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
of heartbreaks and faith
I just had to share this.
Exactly 1 year ago; 13/10/2008 - My heart 'broke'. It felt as if it was shattered. The pain was unbearable back then. It was the one of the two lowest moments of my life. The other being weeks later. I didn't know where to go, didn't know what to do, didn't understand why God allowed such pain. Yet one thing I knew back then was that He had His purpose. All I did was hold on.
He said He would heal and that's what He did. Looking back, I still don't fully understand why He allowed such, but I've learnt so many valuable lessons that have allowed me to grow deeper and closer to Him. What could be better? The enemy would always like us to believe that He cannot be a good God since He could allow such pain into our lives. How false is that. Lies, all LIES. Don't ever give in to what the enemy tells you; that voice inside you that says things are never gonna get better; that's what he would like you to believe.
On this earth, suffering is inevitable. But we have a Living hope that is found in Him. For that reason alone we rejoice. Even if the pain never ceases, we know that when we see Him, all will be erased. Here's what I learnt (taken from Elisabeth Elliot's Quest for Love):
His glorious purpose in permitting heartbreak
1 Peter 1:7 - These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
(I would be glad to answer any questions even though I myself am imperfect and do not know much. It's all for Him.)
Exactly 1 year ago; 13/10/2008 - My heart 'broke'. It felt as if it was shattered. The pain was unbearable back then. It was the one of the two lowest moments of my life. The other being weeks later. I didn't know where to go, didn't know what to do, didn't understand why God allowed such pain. Yet one thing I knew back then was that He had His purpose. All I did was hold on.
He said He would heal and that's what He did. Looking back, I still don't fully understand why He allowed such, but I've learnt so many valuable lessons that have allowed me to grow deeper and closer to Him. What could be better? The enemy would always like us to believe that He cannot be a good God since He could allow such pain into our lives. How false is that. Lies, all LIES. Don't ever give in to what the enemy tells you; that voice inside you that says things are never gonna get better; that's what he would like you to believe.
On this earth, suffering is inevitable. But we have a Living hope that is found in Him. For that reason alone we rejoice. Even if the pain never ceases, we know that when we see Him, all will be erased. Here's what I learnt (taken from Elisabeth Elliot's Quest for Love):
His glorious purpose in permitting heartbreak
- that we may be shaped to the likeness of Christ
Romans 8:29 - For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the first born among many brothers and sisters. - that we may learn to trust 2 Cor 1:8b-9 - We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.
- that we may learn to obey Psalm 119:67,71 - I used to wander off until you discipline me; but now I closely follow your word. My suffering was good for me, for it was taught to pay attention to your decrees.
- that we may bear fruit John 15:2 - He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.
- that we may reach spiritual maturity James 1:4 - So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
1 Peter 1:7 - These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
(I would be glad to answer any questions even though I myself am imperfect and do not know much. It's all for Him.)
mmmm
Had psychology presentation today; our lecturer let us choose the topics we wanted to present last Friday. Each one of us are supposed to be the 'lecturer' for one lesson. So yeah, since my topics were the earliest, I was up first today. It was pretty okay. =).
I had a weird dream while I had my nap in the afternoon. What exactly do you consider a nap anyway? 30 minutes? An hour? I could nap right up to 5 hours if there were time to do so. But I come back quite late from college everyday, a 2 hour nap is good already. Anyway, my dream was weird cause it was somewhat logical yet illogical, happy yet sad, true yet untrue, and it even predicted something that will happen (I'd freak out if it comes true) and I'd be devastated if it does. Make a wild guess there. The fact that I so vividly remember the dream is weird itself. And I'm still trying to make sense out of it.
Looking forward to going home on Thursday and bro's coming down to KL tomorrow too. Haven't seen him for nearly two months. Oh, I haven't mentioned that I've tasted some of the most horrible food over here... I'm sure KL has great places to eat; just haven't really ventured and been to those except for the Pan Mee's... Haha.
I've nothing much to blog about that I'm just typing all the random stuff that comes to my mind. It was a good day today. Won't mention why; several reasons actually. God is good ALL the time. Whether or not things turn out the way we want; that fact NEVER changes. A good God does not have to comply to all our hopes and wants; He supplies our needs and is more than enough.
Could this be a start? Could there be more? Would things change? Will it be any different in time?
Whatever it is, I'm holding on to Your love. You will never let me go.
I had a weird dream while I had my nap in the afternoon. What exactly do you consider a nap anyway? 30 minutes? An hour? I could nap right up to 5 hours if there were time to do so. But I come back quite late from college everyday, a 2 hour nap is good already. Anyway, my dream was weird cause it was somewhat logical yet illogical, happy yet sad, true yet untrue, and it even predicted something that will happen (I'd freak out if it comes true) and I'd be devastated if it does. Make a wild guess there. The fact that I so vividly remember the dream is weird itself. And I'm still trying to make sense out of it.
Looking forward to going home on Thursday and bro's coming down to KL tomorrow too. Haven't seen him for nearly two months. Oh, I haven't mentioned that I've tasted some of the most horrible food over here... I'm sure KL has great places to eat; just haven't really ventured and been to those except for the Pan Mee's... Haha.
I've nothing much to blog about that I'm just typing all the random stuff that comes to my mind. It was a good day today. Won't mention why; several reasons actually. God is good ALL the time. Whether or not things turn out the way we want; that fact NEVER changes. A good God does not have to comply to all our hopes and wants; He supplies our needs and is more than enough.
Could this be a start? Could there be more? Would things change? Will it be any different in time?
Whatever it is, I'm holding on to Your love. You will never let me go.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
nothing comes easy
This isn't gonna do.
17 days till trials. I'm back in Ipoh for the weekend, and am slacking as usual. I have no idea why I always get so sleepy every time I come home; just feel like sleeping in the whole day. I need motivation. Hah.
There are few things that motivate me now, can't mention what; so I've got to really start focusing, start doing some serious study. Cause nothing comes easy.
Trials are important in order to maintain scholarship for next semester, don't wanna be a burden to my parents. Which is why I think I'd better start tonight.
And on a brighter note, I've decided on something; I've made a choice. Back then if anyone had suggested it, I would've said I couldn't do it. Even though I'm not sure how I'm going to right now, I know He will stand in for me, with His strength, it's possible.
For I've been here before, but I know there's still more
Oh Lord, I need to know You.
17 days till trials. I'm back in Ipoh for the weekend, and am slacking as usual. I have no idea why I always get so sleepy every time I come home; just feel like sleeping in the whole day. I need motivation. Hah.
There are few things that motivate me now, can't mention what; so I've got to really start focusing, start doing some serious study. Cause nothing comes easy.
Trials are important in order to maintain scholarship for next semester, don't wanna be a burden to my parents. Which is why I think I'd better start tonight.
And on a brighter note, I've decided on something; I've made a choice. Back then if anyone had suggested it, I would've said I couldn't do it. Even though I'm not sure how I'm going to right now, I know He will stand in for me, with His strength, it's possible.
For I've been here before, but I know there's still more
Oh Lord, I need to know You.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
for the record
Been 3 months.
And then 3 weeks.
I never knew it would've come to this, that I would be here right now; hoping.
It's perfectly normal I know, at least it is for me. Still, I'm trusting Him.
And then 3 weeks.
I never knew it would've come to this, that I would be here right now; hoping.
It's perfectly normal I know, at least it is for me. Still, I'm trusting Him.
blessed beyond measure
My 100th post since I started this blog in January; an average of 11 posts a month. Just like the title suggests, I just want to touch on blessings.
The reason why I'm typing this is because just these past few days, I have realized what I've been blessed with. In particular, my family. I was pretty much stressed when my aunt left, her friend was a great relief as she came few days once to help me out and stay on some nights. My mum came down on Sunday and I am ever so grateful for her.. It makes me feel sad sometimes how I've not always been the best daughter; how I've taken her for granted sometimes and never really saw how much she's done for me. Things have got to change.
We're very blessed; much more than we know. Yet we still find reasons to complain; we find the places and things we lack and ask God to fill up those things. But have we actually stopped to think of what we've been blessed with?
I'm not talking about riches and money here. Wealth is only important to a certain extent. Even so, it does not really define the blessings we have.
Think about the family you've been placed in. Do you have loving parents? Are they playing their roles as parents well? What about your siblings? Have you ever stopped to wonder what a blessing they are? For those of you who come from broken homes, don't fret; there are other great blessings as well, and God will step in to fill the brokenness in your home.
I cannot name all the other blessings as it will be too long to list... Only you know what you have been blessed with, what you can be grateful for... If only we would realize that our blessings overwrites all the things we do not have. Truly, we have such blessed lives; we need to continue thanking Him for all that we've been given.
If we keep looking at the things we want/do not have, we would definitely be disappointed.. But let's think of how His grace, His mercy, His love and His peace has always been there for us; never leaving not even for a moment.. Do you still dare to complain?
There's a world out there that's empty, that's really in need. There are people out there crying for shelter, for care, for love; we who have been blessed can only look at what we lack instead of being grateful for the things we have. How selfish we are sometimes... If you've been of those, maybe it's time to stop complaining and start looking out for the needs of others as well.
We weren't blessed for us to just enjoy and be content. We were blessed that we may be a blessing to others. Let's live a life that seeks to love and bless and as we do so, our lives would be truly fulfilled. Then we can say that we have truly lived for Him.
The reason why I'm typing this is because just these past few days, I have realized what I've been blessed with. In particular, my family. I was pretty much stressed when my aunt left, her friend was a great relief as she came few days once to help me out and stay on some nights. My mum came down on Sunday and I am ever so grateful for her.. It makes me feel sad sometimes how I've not always been the best daughter; how I've taken her for granted sometimes and never really saw how much she's done for me. Things have got to change.
We're very blessed; much more than we know. Yet we still find reasons to complain; we find the places and things we lack and ask God to fill up those things. But have we actually stopped to think of what we've been blessed with?
I'm not talking about riches and money here. Wealth is only important to a certain extent. Even so, it does not really define the blessings we have.
Think about the family you've been placed in. Do you have loving parents? Are they playing their roles as parents well? What about your siblings? Have you ever stopped to wonder what a blessing they are? For those of you who come from broken homes, don't fret; there are other great blessings as well, and God will step in to fill the brokenness in your home.
I cannot name all the other blessings as it will be too long to list... Only you know what you have been blessed with, what you can be grateful for... If only we would realize that our blessings overwrites all the things we do not have. Truly, we have such blessed lives; we need to continue thanking Him for all that we've been given.
If we keep looking at the things we want/do not have, we would definitely be disappointed.. But let's think of how His grace, His mercy, His love and His peace has always been there for us; never leaving not even for a moment.. Do you still dare to complain?
There's a world out there that's empty, that's really in need. There are people out there crying for shelter, for care, for love; we who have been blessed can only look at what we lack instead of being grateful for the things we have. How selfish we are sometimes... If you've been of those, maybe it's time to stop complaining and start looking out for the needs of others as well.
We weren't blessed for us to just enjoy and be content. We were blessed that we may be a blessing to others. Let's live a life that seeks to love and bless and as we do so, our lives would be truly fulfilled. Then we can say that we have truly lived for Him.
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