Friday, October 28, 2011

The Beginning of Winter, No ?




First snow of the year - really pretty! But not so when it gets in your face. The snow was kinda fluffy and still clean, probably won't be as nice when it gets really thick. I'm glad the weather's gonna be back to normal tomorrow. It's only been a month of fall - this is too quick!

Going to Lowell, MA tomorrow with the gospel choir for a worship conference at Whole Armour International (a church); will be singing with other choirs as well. Only for a night but it's gonna be great! And it's all paid for as well, except for some meals. Couldn't ask for more.

Here's a picture from our Back 2 School Concert last week; it was immense!


Really grateful for everything. Thank You Lord.

Be back soon.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Changed Perspectives

Before I came here, I prepared myself for the worst. I thought that the lifestyle here would be roughly similar, or at least not too different from what is shown in the media. Sex, alcohol, drugs, profanities - aren't these what most American teenagers do?

So when I came here, I began to observe. I have seen things, I won't say exactly what but it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I happen to have a circle of friends that stay free from all these so I have yet to encounter wasted freaks though I know many who have. I have heard more than witnessed so its still too early to say.

But what really shocked me, that I did not expect was the apathy toward religion here. There are 1200 or so students here and the Christian Fellowship consists of 20 regular members; that's like 2% of the population. It's even worse than in Malaysia, a predominantly Muslim nation and this is supposed to be a Christian nation; how can this be? I know there are certainly more than those who come to CF, but I am convinced it will not even reach half of the population.

I found out sometime ago that New Hampshire is the least religious, least churched state of all States. And at that moment, I asked Him "Why did you send me here? Are You sure I'm at the right place? At a place where people don't care about religion. Where people are cold toward You? Where people are not praying, where people are not going to church; even those who call themselves Christians."

In class, a few of my classes actually, we cover certain literature and some have a lot of Biblical references and I am usually the one to expose them and answer any questions pertaining to that. Some of the Americans do know, even the non-Christians about the most basic stuff but nothing more than that. I think its ironic, that this foreign person would come in and talk about Christianity, a supposedly Western religion as its named. But later on I realized, its not ironic but it is the way it is and this is exactly why I'm here, because God has a mission for me. Do I go and evangelize them all? Of course not. But I know He's called me to take a stand for Him even in the littlest of opportunities that I'm granted and to be a light in the darkness. It is not easy, with so many temptations lurking at every corner. I hear swear words being spoken every single day, I know people who sleep together, I hear about people who sleep around, I see people getting drunk, I know people who take drugs. I am repelled by the lifestyle and honestly, it saddens me. These people need God, they really do.

I feel that there's a huge burden placed on my heart right now for the people here. For the people who don't find the need for God, who don't know God. Even for the Christians who don't really follow Christ. For the Christians who only pray on Sunday and live as if God didn't exist on every other day.

I was talking with Cindy yesterday and she told me something that I felt God was trying to tell me through her. So before I came, I had it in my mind that I was going to come here, go to CF and serve and grow in the Lord. I was going to find a church that I would feel comfortable in, I was going to find a group of strong Christian friends that I can relate to and pray with. I was going to receive spiritual food.

But He said: "I've given you so much, you have been feasting. Now you go and feed."

It couldn't be clearer. Am I in the wrong place? This spiritually dead, town, region where Wealth and Intellect are the gods. A people that are resistant and doubtful about God. I know its not a mistake.

I came here to get an education, a degree, yes. But I came here for a far greater purpose - to do His work.

Life would not be meaningful if we were to live it for ourselves, if we were to seek pleasure and chase after our own dreams. It is only when we live for Him that we find meaning.

I wish to continually say what Jesus himself said that:

John 4:34 - "My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work."

I still fail now and then, but He picks me up. I am not perfect and never will be, but His grace gives me the power and strength to do what He wills.

To God be the glory.

Friday, October 21, 2011

the best day

I just remembered I haven't written about what happened the other day that I called one of the best days since I've been here.

I went to church, Wellspring Worship Center in West Lebanon, where Cindy who's the International Student Advisor as well as the CF Advisor. She and her husband, Benny, are strong believers and I just started one to one meetings with them recently, thank God for them really. Anyway, it was the church they regularly attended and they got a van to take some of us there.

Lee Grady, a journalist, author and a speaker spoke that morning and God worked through him. Somehow everything about the service just appealed to me; the worship, the message, the altar call, the post altar call worship... Lee spoke on praising God no matter what circumstance we're in and he took it from how David encouraged himself in the Lord. It was a timely message. I've been to a couple of churches but that morning, the service just made me feel so much at home, right there in church. And I couldn't be happier.

I got a double portion of the Word as Lee also came to speak to us at college. Technically it wasn't in college, but the Baptist church just right beside the college. I wished more students had turned up; there were probably 10-15 students at most and the other half were people from the town but numbers became irrelevant later on. The message was really different from what he preached in the morning; it was about the Father's heart and how our father's weaknesses and flaws often affect the way we view God. For example, if one has an alcoholic father, the person might look at God to be unpredictable and this will impair the relationship.

Needless to say, I was touched that night and was ministered to. God did amazing things not just in me, but in many people's hearts that night and healing took place. It's just great to know that we serve the same God who never changes and that in itself is something to thank God for. How great He is!!

Words were said to me that night that I will probably never forget. Hope arose in my heart that sometimes doubts, sometimes questions... But He reminded me that He had so much more and that it was only the beginning...

How could it not be the best day? God showed Himself, God spoke and God healed.

I was reminded, despite the many emotions I felt that night, that He wants me to trust Him, irregardless of my feelings.

The Lord is good, always.

Where To Begin

I've been away for so long that I really don't know where to start. What exactly do I say? Here comes a very jumbled up post.

Had one of the most 'stressful' weeks last week. I put the inverted commas because the word stress is somehow foreign to me. The amount of workload I had last week was crazy; there was a paper due everyday. And procrastination did not help me. Thank God I managed to get through all the craziness without a nervous breakdown. I've seen so many people around me complaining, looking so tired and overwhelmed. God has been gracious and merciful, He's been my strength, as always.

The fall break came just in time after that and it ended on Tuesday. Classes resumed on Wednesday and now its the weekend again.

One of the most amazing things happened last week: My roommate accepted Christ. God definitely answers prayers. And the way He just moved her is still something I find unreal yet I know it is simply because that is who He is.

God has been speaking to me as well, through various people and circumstances. I feel that this HAS to be in an entirely different post so I shall retreat to that now.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Barely Here

I wonder if anyone even reads this blog anymore. (I'm not trying to sound pitiful here just so you know.)

My inconsistency and long absences from posting here does not indicate that I have no time at all. Well, I'm not as free as I was but I know I could spare the time to post here if I want to.

I'm not sure if its due to the loss of interest in blogging that I'm doing this. Then again, I'm not exactly disinterested, maybe just not interested enough. Seems like college is turning me to into a paradoxical freak.

I have conceded however, in the course of typing this post (I never have a plan when I first begin) that I will continue to keep this blog alive even if its only for myself.

I feel that the days of 'what I did today along with a thousand descriptions' are gone.That's not to say I'm never gonna inform on what I did or I will not be me. Maybe I'm entering into a more contemplative, reflective phase of my life that always existed but never really dwelled in.

So with these musings I shall now end, I really do have a lot more to say, should've said and will say..

I'll be back here, soon. My constant repetition of this makes it much less believable but I'm serious this time around. The word soon itself means differently to everyone anyway.

God bless you all. Love.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Your 100 Day Prayer by John I. Snyder


Your 100 Day Prayer is a useful devotion as well as prayer material. The author describes it as a "guide to your own 100-day prayer, where you will bring your issue before God every day for this 100-day period." Since it is a prayer adventure, it is not easy to fully describe what the book covers. The format everyday is the same. A Scripture is given, a few paragraphs on a certain topic followed by a prayer for the day. There is also a section called 'Today's Progress' that leaves space for notes or our own prayers; a very helpful section indeed.

Some of the topics that are frequently covered in the book include Waiting on God, Faith, Persistent Prayer, Hope and Joy. I have often come across relevant topics to the things I face and God has used the prayers and words of the book to speak to my situation. I certainly think its a good book especially for those who find it hard to pray and don't really know how to begin. Wherever you are in your spiritual walk, this will still be a good book to have or give as a gift.

There are a lot of Biblical truths and Snyder gives a lot of great insights to things. One of the quotes I couldn't help to pen down is: 'So keep this in mind when you are praying for the things you want and need: if you do not receive what you ask for now, you've lost nothing, because in th end, you will have than you ever dreamed.' Snyder often reminds us to continue having faith despite the circumstances we go through and to fix our eyes on God. In this age of uncertainty and upheaval, God is certainly the only One that we can fully trust and this is what Snyder speaks of.

Definitely a book worth reading and more importantly, applying to our lives. The meditations are not lengthy too so it won't take much time a day for those who find it hard to focus.

God bless you should you choose to embark on your 100-day prayer! I've certainly been blessed.

*I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. All opinions expressed are of my own.*

Monday, October 3, 2011

Had the best day today (more like yesterday) since I came here. Will post about it in another. The next two days will be extremely stressful (because I procrastinated) and I'll be back after it's all over. Till then!

Your love is enough.
Your love is EVERYTHING.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Loneliness

Loneliness- is like a disease
It plagues you once in awhile when you least expect it
When you thought all was well,
When you thought you were fine
And that you didn't need a doctor.

It creeps on you, slowly
And soon enough you feel it
You want to get rid of it
But it doesn't just go away
Sometimes it stays longer than you wish it to.

What can we do?
Do we complain?
Do we question?
Do we stop trusting?
That He will make us well again
That He sees our pain
And will heal us completely
And provide the cure to our loneliness
But no matter what we think will satisfy
There really isn't anything that can cure us of it

None but His love...

Lord, You are enough for me.
I'm trusting in You Lord
You know so much better
I'll wait Lord, I'll wait....

I feel my faith rising as I call upon Your name