Reflections on Easter and His Faithfulness

I posted this last Easter. It's really interesting because the commercialism of Easter is even stronger here.

The irony is that being a Christian nation, or rather, a post-Christian nation, Easter, just like Christmas has become a cultural holiday and celebration. But rather than the message of the Cross being the main event, Easter bunnies and Easter eggs and whatnot have become the symbols of the celebration. I have no idea how it happened and this isn't the point of the post. And yes, while some non-Christians do go to church on this day, the real meaning of Easter - His death and resurrection is only known and understood by Christians. I might be wrong but this is once again, just my opinion.

Whereas back home, only Christians celebrate the event and understand its meaning... People from other religions might be ignorant but are always told by the Christians the significance of the day.

But it is most sad when we ourselves do not think about it. When we take it for granted. I don't believe in celebrating His death and resurrection only one day in a year. We need to ponder on it, thank Him for it every single day of our lives. Why?

Because His death and resurrection is the only reason we can truly live.

1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

Ephesians 2:4-5
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved.

Who can comprehend the extend of His love and mercy? No matter how hard we try, His love is unfathomable. It goes beyond reason, it goes against the law of nature.

But He does not require us to understanding but to trust. To accept His love and walk on in this new life. That we may say, as He did 'Not my will but Yours be done'. He paid the greatest price - nothing we give to the Lord will make up for that. But that does not mean we do not give. We give because we love Him. We love Him because He first loved us.

That being said, I had a very good Easter celebration. Went down with the gospel choir to a church down at Lowell, the same one where we attended the Worship Conference last fall. It was interesting as they had 7 speakers who had 7 minutes each to speak about Jesus' sayings on the Cross. We were invited to perform a song.

Easter Service on Sunday at the church I've been attending regularly, how I found and decided to go to this church is a miracle in itself - He works. Was invited over by the Pastor's wife to their house for lunch and it was a very blessed time. They had 6 sons and for some reason, despite the many differences in character and family traits, it reminded me of my own. The grandparents were there too, having all generations together to celebrate a very important Day was just great. I think it was the first time I actually celebrated Easter with 'family' because all along in the past, it was just going to Church.

But more than anything, I am realizing how much God has blessed me. How He has been faithful. I came across a post in the past:

"There are many uncertainties; questions about what if I don't maintain the required CGPA to keep my merit scholarship, funding and settling down, finding the right church etc. Whatever they may be, I choose not to allow it to bother me, but that they may lead me back to Him. It's all in His hands. If He led me to it, He will lead me through it. He's a faithful God, no doubt about that."

I posted this on April 28 last year when I made my decision to attend Colby-Sawyer. And whats amazing is that

1) I didn't just maintain the required GPA, I excelled, far beyond my own expectations. And I only have Him to give glory to.

2) I settled down well with His provision and bringing various people to me who have been such a blessing... I could not ask for more.

3) He provided me with not just one but two jobs when I was doubtful of even securing one. And most recently, I was selected out of the many applicants and few positions available, to be a Resident Assistant for next year. Which is what I love to do, being in contact with people and it will ease my family a lot financially. And this is all His doing - not mine.

4) As I mentioned earlier, I've been attending the Andover Congregational Church. I never envisioned myself to attend a church so different in terms of the order of worship and running of the service, from what I was raised up in. Yet the first time I walked in that church, God showed me different signs and confirmed that there was where He wants me to be, at least for now. Because it is never about the denomination nor the practice, it is Him.

I can go on and on.... But the main point is to show that God is indeed faithful and we can trust Him. He knows what we need, when we need it and how we need it...

Thank You Lord, thank You... You are the Giver, You are the Gift - the greatest Gift of all...

Broken Resistance

I've been wrong before, I could be wrong again...

Yet this time it feels different.

That it wasn't me, it was You, who changed me, made me see...

My resistance, You tore it apart... Let me realize my pride and selfishness and importance I've put on things that don't really matter.

You brought me back to the heart of the matter, the things I've always claimed was important but never really followed through. Because I never saw it before.

But now I do, and I will not let it go.

Only You could have placed these desires, only You could have brought this about, no accident, no mistake....

A time of trust and waiting. I trust You, I trust You.

Reflections on 1 Corinthians 7

A few days ago, when I was reading the Word, this verse seemed to resonate within me:

1 Corinthians 7:17 - Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.

The context of this particular chapter is that of marriage. Paul wrote advice for both the married and unmarried. The verse above is the beginning of another subchapter which goes beyond the married/unmarried but that of circumcision and bondservants. The following subchapter carries advice for the unmarried and widowed.

Thus when Paul talks about the 'assigned' life, we can assume that he was referring to marriage and singleness but it also relates to all other paths of life.

The ESV Student Study Bible's notes on this particular verse are as follows:

"God calls people to himself who are in various situations regarding economics (slavery vs. freedom), family (divorce vs. marriage) and religious background (circumcision vs. uncircumcision) and often God has a purpose for the new believer in that very situation. It is the place to which God has called him."

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

We tend to despise our situation and station in life, especially when things get hard and we are in pain. We yearn for another life, so to speak and wish that God would lead us somewhere else. But this verse shows that God calls us, God assigns something, some stage to us. We should therefore, not respond in complain or bitterness but in joy and gratefulness. What kind of assigned life do we mean? It can be anything, really. I am a student now, this is my assignment, should I not work to the best of my ability, not wishing to quickly get out of this stage but to embrace all that comes along my way even when it gets tough?

There might be harder assignments to endure, one that is specific to us and sometimes we will never understand why God allows us to stay there. But the knowledge that He knows what He's doing should spur us on.

In every season, there is a purpose. Be it singlehood or marriage, be it poverty or riches. Be it joy or suffering. Be it sickness or health, nothing is in vain.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Let us then, thank God for our assigned life. For the stage, place He has called us to. Knowing that He is faithful and will ever be.

2 Timothy 2:13 - For if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.

And in Paul's famous words, I shall end this...

'Thanks be to God...'

Thoughts With No End

Once again, I'm contemplating if I should stop blogging altogether. I would admit that one reason would be that there are only a few who actually [still] follow this blog. The blogging era seems to have ended for many and I occasionally wonder if my time has come. Does the world really need to know what I do, think and feel?

The answer is obvious. Yet there's something, I don't quite know what that draws me back to this place. Yes, perhaps I don't update as often as I used to and I might not ever get back to that stage again. But this place is too close to my heart to simply abandon... Even if it gets to the point where no one reads this, I cannot do it.

I might be just another ordinary person. But I serve an extraordinary God. Therefore, I live to sing His praises, to honor and glorify Him.

This blog has chronicled my journey through all the pain, the joy and the confusion. God has remained to be my refuge and strength. He has been and ever will be faithful to me. Despite my fears and failures, He always picks me up and draws me ever close to Him.

So I shall continue, to let the world know, what He's done for me.

When you have found happiness, you cannot do anything but share it. When you have found love, everything changes. Nothing else matters.

I am in love with the Lover of all. He fills the emptiness in me no one can. Despite my constant longings for companionship, He reminds me that this void, only He can fill. This Love, only He can give... And it is more than enough.

Barely Here

I wonder if anyone even reads this blog anymore. (I'm not trying to sound pitiful here just so you know.)

My inconsistency and long absences from posting here does not indicate that I have no time at all. Well, I'm not as free as I was but I know I could spare the time to post here if I want to.

I'm not sure if its due to the loss of interest in blogging that I'm doing this. Then again, I'm not exactly disinterested, maybe just not interested enough. Seems like college is turning me to into a paradoxical freak.

I have conceded however, in the course of typing this post (I never have a plan when I first begin) that I will continue to keep this blog alive even if its only for myself.

I feel that the days of 'what I did today along with a thousand descriptions' are gone.That's not to say I'm never gonna inform on what I did or I will not be me. Maybe I'm entering into a more contemplative, reflective phase of my life that always existed but never really dwelled in.

So with these musings I shall now end, I really do have a lot more to say, should've said and will say..

I'll be back here, soon. My constant repetition of this makes it much less believable but I'm serious this time around. The word soon itself means differently to everyone anyway.

God bless you all. Love.

It Starts Again

Went to T.Intan in the afternoon. My uncle wanted to treat before I leave. Meals in T.Intan = seafood and its always great. Really grateful.

The EPL's season begun, finally. It was quite dull without any games going on for the past few months; it's much more exciting now. Yet I always have mixed feelings in regards to Liverpool particularly because I just want them to at least get into the top 4 but competition's getting tougher and tougher every season. Just wish the best for them. :)

Disappointing start yesterday, only managed a point. But a point's better than nothing and seeing how Sunderland came back in the second half with so much more energy and determination, I guess they deserved it.

Still, YNWA. Go REDS!

I wonder how I'll keep up with soccer in the States. If I even have the time. The timing's gonna be really weird though. A 3pm kick-off in the UK would mean I'd be watching it at 10am compared to 10pm here. But as weird as it may be, its much more feasible.

I'm thinking it could be just 'weird' because I'm not used to it.

Food for thought: Have you ever done something and when someone (usually from a different ethnicity) ask you why and the only answer you can give is 'because that's how we do it?'

There's much more to that and I'll talk about it some other time. I read a really interesting book on deep culture and thought it'd be interesting to share. :)

Till then!

feelings

Feelings - they can never be trusted.
I've gone through the cycle again and again
And it all ends up the same.
Gone as if it were never there.
In fact, as I look back at most
I can only ask myself why it started
Yet not understand.

I'm here once again
And it's been awhile at that -
That I've been free from any attachments
Free from the feelings
Sometimes there's pleasure tied to it
When you think of the person ever so frequently
You wonder what he's doing
And if he ever thinks of you
Yet at the end of the day
You only sigh to know
That everything is just in your head
It will never be a reality
The truth certainly hurts.

I want to remind myself of these worthless infatuations
Because when I enter this phase again,
The same illusion begins.
It will seem so important yet turn into
Nothing at the end of the day
How do I tell what's real from what's not?
How do I stop the feelings when it comes so fast?
The answer is not to stop
But not to let it rule
The heart will want to follow
But we are all left with a choice.
The best thing we all can do
Is to submit our feelings
No they won't go away
But He'll take care of it, He will.

When I'm at it again, I'll remember
How it'll all come to nothing once again.
Even if it were to grow into something more,
I'll let Him guide me.
And I'll see what I've never seen before.
Something so beautiful only He can conjure.

what might be

I want to expound on what I said at the end of the previous post.

Warning: The following might be sensitive in pertaining to religious beliefs. Everything I write is my own thoughts and I do not intend to offend anyone.

It scares me to be honest, to wonder what will become of me as a person in 4 years time. Its a cause for concern to think that my faith might be challenged to the point where I might not be sure of what I believe in or be shaken that I might leave it for good. I dare not imagine it and I pray for His mercy.

All along, He's been with me and I know He will continue to be with me. But I'm now opening myself up to the possibilities of my faith being openly challenged.

I know I might not have the answers that would please those who enquire why I believe in the first place. All I know is that I know He is true, the how and why I cannot prove but one does not need to see in order to believe despite the notion that seeing is believing.

For me, 'Believing is Seeing'. And not seeing with one's eyes but one's heart knowing the truth.

As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:3-6 - And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

Somehow this post turned out totally different from what I had envisioned it to be; what I had intended to write... But perhaps this is what the Spirit is guiding me to do.

Months ago, I came across a passage of Scripture when I was afraid of possibly giving in to the temptations of this world when I enter a very different place. Who can tell?

But He encouraged me through this:

Psalm 119:9 - How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word.

That is what I long to do. And I know only He can empower me to do it.

In You I place my trust.

let go, let god

Have you ever heard people say that they can't let go?

Have you ever had your friend tell you he can't let go?

Have you ever said you can't let go?

I know I have.

I'm beginning to believe that it isn't a case of us being unable to let go of someone or something that's important to us. Rather it's more of us not wanting to (despite our constant denial).

However, this stubborness isn't unwarranted. It's probably due to the deep impression the person or the event (or whatever else it may be) left on us that makes us feel that we simply can't let go. And more often than not, there is also the fear of letting go. We just don't know what's to come.

But there is an answer to it all; Him.

Hah.. I can hear some of you say... How can it be? How can you (as in me) be so simplistic; so naive.

Naive or not, I know that He is the answer to this. Perhaps to all our other problems as well. With our own strength, we might as well not try since we're doomed to fail; we'd probably be even more discouraged than when we started. But He has promised to guide us through and asked us to cast our cares on Him.

By letting go, He's asking us to let God. In other words, by giving Him the things or people we so tightly hold on to, He grants us peace instead. Grace, mercy and love. A larger capacity to forgive. The first step is to ask; is to come to Him.

I know it to be true; I myself struggled and it was only when I realized how simple it was - all I needed to do was to look to Him and trust that He would do it for me as long as I was willing to give it to Him. Simple but not easy. We must be aware of the difference or we will be fooled in thinking that it requires no effort on our part.

But God plays a much bigger role here and that we need to understand.

If only we could see, if only we could know....

The Lord declares:
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

He promised:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

In a way, we were right saying we can't let go; not without Him we can.

Take heart. So many have gone before and so many can testify of His great love and grace. He is faithful and if you would only let go and let Him take it for you... It's hard to explain the joy that comes from resting in His abundant love.

Psalm 34:8 - Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

God bless. :)

never despise our brokenness

I often enjoy reminiscing the past. Especially times where I felt completely helpless, hopeless and worthless. Because those were the times He lifted me up.

It's really true that only when one goes through the valley that he experiences the presence of God most tangibly. God becomes so close that one can scarcely imagine. But the feeling is incomprehensible.

It is when the reality of this verse is experienced:
Psalm 34:18 - The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

He is the Lifter of our heads.

Troubled? Look to Him.

Worried? Trust Him.

Lonely? Talk to Him.

If its in the valley that we see Him for all He is; then let us walk through it without fear but confidence that He will see us through.

Just some thoughts. :)

it's over

2 years have gone by, just like that. Now I can FINALLY say that College and A-Levels is done with. :)

It's been a whirlwind of a journey and I still can't believe how things have worked out. Through certain events, God led me to choose this path, one that was never in my mind... And I believe if not for His grace, I wouldn't be here. I don't think things could have got any better.

I've learnt a lot from the whole college experience, met great people, joined and was part of the awesome CF. I believe I grew and matured a lot through it all. (I certainly do hope.) I always had it in my mind that college isn't just a time to study and get good grades; it's so much more than that. Leaving a legacy behind; doesn't mean you have to change things around. If God could work through me to just touch one life, I believe it was more than worth it. It is His grace that has brought me through the rough patches and brought different people at different times to offer encouragement and insight. I believe He brought people along my way as well...

I know there were certainly times I could have been better as a person and I guess I probably said and inadvertently did things that hurt people.. To those people, whoever you may be, I am truly sorry. It's quite sad that I won't be going back to MCKL, the place I feel so at home in... I'll surely miss all my 0907 peeps, CF members and other friends..

Yet I believe there is a time for everything and right now its a transition period for me. I've 2 months left in this country before I step outside. I'm not going to think any further right now. It's all in His hands. :)

Exams begin tomorrow, finally! Some are done with exams, some are halfway through it, some are going to finish and here I am still as free as ever.

Got back to KL today after a month, looked at my surroundings and I honestly don't think I'd miss KL much. Probably just the people.. Anyway, no regrets for all that's taken place in the past two years. Eh, it's not time for this yet.

Anyway, I'm far from prepared. I guess my complacency is obvious, since I've already been accepted to the States and my results this time around won't really affect my admission. Unless it turns out horrible (I hope not), it should be alright. I guess I can say its all for my 'ego' now, which I don't exactly have which is why I haven't put in the effort I should have put in long ago. They say you gotta finish well... Ah, what can I say...

But I do know He's got it all in control. And all the nonsense about God helping those who helps themselves? No such thing. God helps those who are aware that they can't help themselves; the 'poor' so to speak...

One thing about 'revision' this time is that I've been reading for Religious Studies and I have learnt so much. Most of the things are relatively new and are puzzling at times. But at the end of the day, I know that we will never fully understand the Truth, but we just need to trust in it. And I do, I do. That's all I need.

Lord, should I ever be distracted by the now or whatever that comes my way, help me remember that this life is just temporary and I am not where I belong.. Not yet.... Help me live my life solely for You... You alone.

Band Camp was good. Learnt a lot, and God reminded me once again of His faithfulness in my life. I can't thank You enough.

As always, I have been pushing things to the VERY last minute. Exam starts on Monday and I am not prepared. Revision has been almost non-existent and I won't start complaining or regretting because it won't change anything. Leaving it all to Him now.

God certainly knows how to bring the right people into our lives, we only need to trust Him. Nothing makes me happier than knowing God uses His servants to touch the lives of others... And that we can learn from every single experience, big or small as long as our hearts are open to Him.

Nothing is wasted, nothing...

Thank You Father for being my comfort, my shelter and everything I could ever ask for.... I have enough because I have You.

God is God

God is God and I am man
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting.

Jan Silvious, an author wrote 'I believe learning to content yourself begins with the acknowledgement that God is God are you are not.'

I couldn't agree more.

Isaiah 45:5,7 - I am the Lord. There is no other God; I am the only God. I made the light and the darkness. I bring peace, and I cause troubles. I, the Lord, do all these things.

Understanding His sovereignty sheds light on our humanity, helping us to realize we are His subjects.

Most of us know the story of Job and how he undeservedly went through all the suffering although he was 'blameless'. Why would God allow a righteous man to endure such pain in life? Job never got an answer; nor do we know it.

However, after much lament, (30+ chapters), God finally spoke and in 4 wonderful chapters, (Job 38-41); reminded Job of His sovereignty, supremity and power which left Job speechless and his only reply was:

Job 42:2-3 - “I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. [You asked,] ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

Which leaves me wondering... Who are we to question? The moment something goes wrong in our lives, we quickly ask God why. When we see someone else doing better than us, we often wonder if God knows we deserve that more than the other.... So many times we argue, we question, we complain and very often, are left worse than before we ever asked.

But when we begin to comprehend who God is, things begin to change. We find ourselves content although we don't understand a lot of things. Questions and things that use to confound us no longer effect how we see God. In fact, we are brought even closer to Him for the very reason that He is God and we are not.. Do you see what I see?

And so, with this truth, let us not now worry about this and that. But realize how BIG, how GREAT God is. He's immeasurable, He's immense.

Oh how silly we can be when we question. Even with the answers, we are often discontent. If God wants to reveal them to us, so be it. If not, let us just be glad that He is the God of the universe. If He could oversee EVERYTHING, how could He not know whats going on in our lives.

We will never understand everything. We will never comprehend Him fully. But one thing is enough; He is God, not me, not you, not anyone in this world.

It's time we rightfully give back what belongs to Him:- ourselves

Last CF; graduating class of 2011

College's ended. Exams in a month's time.

Haven't started revising of course. Hope I will soon. That's what I always say and then I'll be left with only a week. Oh, well.

Though I'm not exactly stressed about exams, I do wish to get over and done with it soon. And I can officially close a chapter of my life, though I'm pretty much in the process.

I won't say I'm ready to move on to the next stage of life in a completely foreign land. I have had second thoughts though not strong enough to make me regret my decision..

God has His plans for me and all I need to do is avail myself to them..

I don't have dreams for myself (at least not ones that I have to achieve), my only dream is to dream His dreams and live the life He created me for.

You are the Potter, I am the clay
Mould me and make me, this is what I pray

the end

So there's exactly a week left; not counting the next two days for the Science people in college. At this moment, I feel grateful that I still have another semester to go; I'm definitely not ready to leave yet. 

But at the same time, with 3/4 of my friends leaving; college won't be the same. I'll save this for next time. I just want to say that it'll be hard to see them leave, especially those I'm close to.

We live in a world that is constantly moving fast; change comes; people come and go; some you will never meet again.

And He reminded me that when everything fades; when everyone leaves.

He remains...

How comforting...

He's enough for me.

I've found a new joy in His presence, new joy in being with Him everyday. No wonder I've been so empty; I haven't been coming to Him enough. There's been so many distractions in my life; so many unnecessary things.. Trying to cut down on my time online; I'm limiting myself now... It's not exactly a really hard thing to do to be honest... I just realized how much time I've wasted; guilty...

I am really tired right now; physically.. The past weeks have been tiring (particularly last week) and this week is packed with long college hours and practices; it's a joy though... Assignments piling up, coursework left unattended; applications not started on, trials coming up... the list will go on. Yet I'm not moved; I'm not afraid. For He is with me, He is my strength and He will never fail.

Just a few insights;

1. The knowledge and a deeper understanding of His love will change us if we open up our hearts... It is impossible not to be changed when we realize how much He's given to us...

2. Living a life apart from Him is meaningless; worldly pursuits fade in time. (more on this later)

3. Everything will fade away; He alone shall remain.. That in itself is such an amazing thing.. 

4. Rest is not something He gives; it is in Him we find rest; not a thing to be taken apart. 

5. Being still requires us to just be quiet; not to ask Him anything; not to utter anything; but just waiting upon Him.

6. The closer we get to Him; the more we grow in our relationship with Him; the lesser our desire will be for the things of the world... 

Indeed, You are all I need in this life. 

trust in you

"Why is it that the nearer it is to exams, I get

lazier and lazier to do what I should be doing,

more unmotivated to even pick up a book

less worried about the consequences of my laziness

less fearful about the outcome

The thing is, I know what I should be doing, but I'm not doing it. After this weekend, I have to REALLY get down to it. Or else, it's OVER. Not really. LOL. But somewhat close. GAHHH."

The above was a post I wrote back in 2008 in my Xanga
Previous blog for those who don't know.. Wrote it 2 weeks before SPM cause that was exactly how I felt...

Looks like I'm feeling the same again. Except for the fact that now, the weekend is here. Nervous much? I don't know. I'm not prepared. But what can I do now. I've said it before and I'll say it again. His grace is all I rely on. His strength, His mercy. Only He can help me now. I guess there's nothing much else I can do except give my best shot.

I've learned that worry is a sign of lack of trust. Cause if you fully trust someone, there should be no doubt, no fear. No matter what the circumstance, He is bigger. That truth alone should guide us through to battle our worries and replace it with His peace that is already there for us to claim. 

What is this in the light of You?

And I know I can trust You at all times. Cause the one who is higher stands by my side. :)

choices

I just got back at 10plus. Tiring day. Didn't really have to stay back today but ended up helping the Student Council with some Treasure Hunt stuff. Dinner after that; funny. Hah.

I'm really tired now. These few days; two weeks to be exact, I haven't been getting enough sleep. And I don't seem to have the time to catch up on it too. Oh, well.

I'm still not sure which church I want to commit to right now. It's been 8 months yet I still haven't found a place I can really settle in and perhaps serve. I don't want to keep church hopping; keep going from here to there.. Yet I still haven't found a place; there seems to be a problem everywhere. Not really a problem but just something about it that stops me from wanting to commit. Perhaps I'll just wait awhile more. But one thing's for sure, I'm still going to church. The tendency to be lazy and not go is so high sometimes.. But once you start, it'll become a habit. There can't be any compromises.

I'm quite clear on where I want to study after A-Levels now. I believe it will happen, if it's what He has willed it to be. Though I really hope it would come to pass. And for that reason, I guess I've got to be consistent, got to work hard. I can't waste my time, 'brains' and everything else I've been given.

And oh, the March batch came in yesterday, they had orientation for two days. When I was walking into college yesterday, a junior from the January intake said to me in an excited manner;
"Serene, I saw someone who looks like you!!!"
"Oh, who?"
"A guy from the March intake!"
"...........A guy....???? Are you insulting me?????"
"No, no, no... Like guy version of you la."
"Sure or not??"
"Yeah, he's wearing green, standing there only, go and see!"
So I went to check; and of course I don't think we look alike. Today I asked some of my friends and they found it amusing. Kai Yen even went up to him and said "Eh you so leng chai, take picture can or not?" Swt. The guy refused. Haha. I just hope he doesn't think we're stalking him or something. But nearly all of them think we look alike now; especially the nose. I can't say anything about it. Lol. Ain't it cool I have a 'twin'. And I haven't mentioned there's a John Chua in college too. LOL. So many brothers. HAH.

Lit coursework is gonna take up my time. Only the intro's done and there's only weeks left.. But I guess it'll be alright. He's my strength; all I need is found in Him.

My heart skipped a beat; when you entered. You'll be leaving. Don't want you to... But maybe it's better like this.

dreams

They come to life.

I've always had this dream. People ask me what I want to be; deep inside I already know what I want. But I don't say it; cause a long time ago; it seemed too far away. As if it was asking for the impossible. So I surrendered it to Him; hoping and believing that if it was His will; it will happen in time. Who am I to chase after my own dreams. I want His to be mine; not pray that mine would be His. And so; I never really thought about it anymore...

But these days; I've had thoughts. That it may be possible. Maybe not in the near future. And then I realize that what matters more is using what He's given me for His kingdom. It's not really about what I become; but rather who I'm serving with all I have and do.

So having dreams aren't always a bad thing. Being a dreamer's alright. But we must be willing to give them up if those aren't what He has planned out for us.

Then now I'm thinking alot; about what's been happening recently. Still I thank Him though I do not comprehend. At least I know He does.. =)