the war within

Isn't it ironic how I've much more free time on my hands right now yet I'm updating even less than I used to when my semester was packed and college was basically all I knew.

Anyway, I've been alright.

Been torn between what they tell me to do, what I should do and what is the right thing to do. It's really confusing sometimes.

I mean the reasoning makes sense, if you want something so badly, go for it, or you might lose it. But how can I lose something I never had? Probably lose something I could have had. Well, that's not for me to say.

I'm torn between a desire and a strong will to trust and not take things into my own hands. But how far is too far? What do I do?

The only thing I hear Him telling me is to TRUST.

That's exactly what I'll do..

Wait, does that mean I don't do anything at all, but sit and wait? Or do I try and trust at the same time.

These questions, never seem to leave.

But I know one thing, He is with me, He will guide me, He will lead me. And He will satisfy me.

love?

Two days late, but does it matter.. Valentine's Day. Did you know that over the years, the day has evolved to be what we have now? A day for lovers to celebrate and express love for each other.

There are various stories about the history of Valentine's Day and how it all began, you can always read it up online if you haven't. I'm not going to talk about this..

Everyone seeks love, and often in the wrong places. I think it's great that the Day is a good reminder of what true love is about, not what Hollywood portrays it to be but really, what He did for us.

There is no greater Lover, no greater love... John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

The question is, do we have this kind of love, for our family, our friends, strangers? Well He absolutely did. And if not for the love, the world would never know love. Indeed, most do not know it as they do not know Him.

Even if you know it, would you thank Him once again. For His undying love. And for those who do not know, open up your heart, to the Greatest Lover of all.

He satisfies.

The final semester started on Monday. And I'm really free considering I have an average of 10 hours of class a week; compared to 23 for the previous semesters.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm still doing here, wish I could be back.

Really have no idea what to blog already...

So I'll stop here for now.

Till then.

nando...

I type this post with mixed feelings. I am sad, disappointed, surprised, shocked, unbelieving, worried, confused, you name it. Yet there's the feeling that things will look better from now on. Before I mislead you guys to thinking this is something personal, I think it's obvious what I'm talking about.

Torres leaving Liverpool for Chelsea.

Some friends are under the delusion that Torres was the main reason for my support of the club; that's because they didn't know that the club has been in my heart ever since I can remember, ever since I was a kid. The only reason I ever watched football, ever loved it was watching the team play. I could go on about the reasons I support them.

Perhaps I have been quiet about football for some time, but it doesn't mean I support them any less. Watching games has been painful, we are not where we deserve. And yes, I say we because the 12th man to Liverpool is important, and that constitutes us fans.

You can stop reading if football doesn't interest you but I just felt I needed to get this out so I can close this chapter.

I was glad when Torres chose to come to the club over teams like ManU and Arsenal. He showed a liking and passion for playing ever since he became part of the club. He played with great passion, skill and talent. He was just great to say the least, scored many and led the club to many victories. He claimed time and again how he loved being at the club and affirmed his commitment. There were rumours of him leaving to Chelsea months ago, after Rafa left, but he chose to stay. And he did the same recently, saying he loved being here.

But suddenly, news broke out that he wanted to leave. And the reason being he wants to win trophies. Bah. You stick with the club through thick and thin, after all the club has done for you. My admiration for him is diminishing every moment. If he's not part of the club anymore, then my support ends along with his leaving. I won't wish for him to get injured, that would be just bad. Chelsea isn't really one of the clubs I abhor, there's only one really. But I'd rather see him leave to other leagues than to a rival.

To end this post I shall just say; Thanks Torres, you were a great player whom I thought had a heart and looked past trophies and personal glory more than anything else. I was terribly wrong, if you had one, you wouldn't have left the club when you were a huge part in assisting them to get back to where they are supposed to be. You couldn't even wait for the summer. I respected you, that's all gone now. I can't say I wish you well, or Chelsea even. I hope the new strikers won't end up like you. You started well for sure, but you made the wrong choice to leave. I just feel sad for you, really. You were so close to being a Liverpool legend but that's all gone now. Chelsea? Seriously. And you're no different from Ronaldo... That's really disgraceful.

Yet I'm still glad to see how Liverpool has handled all this... And I'm hoping that things will look better for them now. With the new young strikers, fingers crossed for a stronger team. Let's look past all that's happened and look forward to the future. I still smile to know that for every 'betrayer' there are even more faithful players in the club.

YNWA. That's another one of those reasons why I adore the club. It's not that bad after all.

p.s: Come to think of it, I'm not really shocked anymore, he's human after all. Which reminds me, confidence in men will only let you down.