A Quick Update

Been staying up pretty late these past two weeks. Earliest bed time at 2. Have had lots to do but this craziness is about to end. 2 more final papers, 1 more day of classes and I'm done with freshman year.

Leaving for NY on Thursday for a much needed break, coming back to campus on Monday by which most, if not all students will be gone. I have to mention I'm leaving during finals precisely because none of my classes have sit-in final exams. I am grateful indeed.

RA training from 1st of May to the 3rd and on the 4th, I'll be on my way home. :).

My last Sunday at church was amazing. I have been blessed with such a great church family back home and here as well.. I've been going to the church for the past 3 months and I have received tremendous support and love and I cannot thank Him enough. Definitely going to miss everyone there but I'm looking forward to worshiping in my own church back home :)


Blog soon, I hope.

You are my strength.

Reflections on Easter and His Faithfulness

I posted this last Easter. It's really interesting because the commercialism of Easter is even stronger here.

The irony is that being a Christian nation, or rather, a post-Christian nation, Easter, just like Christmas has become a cultural holiday and celebration. But rather than the message of the Cross being the main event, Easter bunnies and Easter eggs and whatnot have become the symbols of the celebration. I have no idea how it happened and this isn't the point of the post. And yes, while some non-Christians do go to church on this day, the real meaning of Easter - His death and resurrection is only known and understood by Christians. I might be wrong but this is once again, just my opinion.

Whereas back home, only Christians celebrate the event and understand its meaning... People from other religions might be ignorant but are always told by the Christians the significance of the day.

But it is most sad when we ourselves do not think about it. When we take it for granted. I don't believe in celebrating His death and resurrection only one day in a year. We need to ponder on it, thank Him for it every single day of our lives. Why?

Because His death and resurrection is the only reason we can truly live.

1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

Ephesians 2:4-5
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved.

Who can comprehend the extend of His love and mercy? No matter how hard we try, His love is unfathomable. It goes beyond reason, it goes against the law of nature.

But He does not require us to understanding but to trust. To accept His love and walk on in this new life. That we may say, as He did 'Not my will but Yours be done'. He paid the greatest price - nothing we give to the Lord will make up for that. But that does not mean we do not give. We give because we love Him. We love Him because He first loved us.

That being said, I had a very good Easter celebration. Went down with the gospel choir to a church down at Lowell, the same one where we attended the Worship Conference last fall. It was interesting as they had 7 speakers who had 7 minutes each to speak about Jesus' sayings on the Cross. We were invited to perform a song.

Easter Service on Sunday at the church I've been attending regularly, how I found and decided to go to this church is a miracle in itself - He works. Was invited over by the Pastor's wife to their house for lunch and it was a very blessed time. They had 6 sons and for some reason, despite the many differences in character and family traits, it reminded me of my own. The grandparents were there too, having all generations together to celebrate a very important Day was just great. I think it was the first time I actually celebrated Easter with 'family' because all along in the past, it was just going to Church.

But more than anything, I am realizing how much God has blessed me. How He has been faithful. I came across a post in the past:

"There are many uncertainties; questions about what if I don't maintain the required CGPA to keep my merit scholarship, funding and settling down, finding the right church etc. Whatever they may be, I choose not to allow it to bother me, but that they may lead me back to Him. It's all in His hands. If He led me to it, He will lead me through it. He's a faithful God, no doubt about that."

I posted this on April 28 last year when I made my decision to attend Colby-Sawyer. And whats amazing is that

1) I didn't just maintain the required GPA, I excelled, far beyond my own expectations. And I only have Him to give glory to.

2) I settled down well with His provision and bringing various people to me who have been such a blessing... I could not ask for more.

3) He provided me with not just one but two jobs when I was doubtful of even securing one. And most recently, I was selected out of the many applicants and few positions available, to be a Resident Assistant for next year. Which is what I love to do, being in contact with people and it will ease my family a lot financially. And this is all His doing - not mine.

4) As I mentioned earlier, I've been attending the Andover Congregational Church. I never envisioned myself to attend a church so different in terms of the order of worship and running of the service, from what I was raised up in. Yet the first time I walked in that church, God showed me different signs and confirmed that there was where He wants me to be, at least for now. Because it is never about the denomination nor the practice, it is Him.

I can go on and on.... But the main point is to show that God is indeed faithful and we can trust Him. He knows what we need, when we need it and how we need it...

Thank You Lord, thank You... You are the Giver, You are the Gift - the greatest Gift of all...

He's real

I've been away from my blog for so long that it's always hard to know where to begin. I guess 2 weeks isn't really that long but the fact that I've been so inconsistent in updating makes it even harder. But I will try.

Only a month left of school... The year's wrapping up quickly and this semester seems to be going by faster. Which also means I'm getting busier - its the time of the year, presentations, papers, more papers, exams, meetings, activities and the list goes on. Yet I'm still managing to find time in between to rest and I am utterly grateful. He doesn't want me to get lost in all of this but to continually draw strength from His presence and because of that, I am refreshed. I cannot speak enough of how wonderful it is to go about the day with the knowledge that He goes before me and holds me by the right hand. The reality of His promise is being realized as I grow closer and closer to Him.

It hasn't been an easy time for me, more so for the people I love. Benny, the Navs staff in our Christian Fellowship whom has become a really good friend and a spiritual mentor to me; we meet weekly to talk about what God has been doing and teaching us and pray together... I thoroughly enjoy our conversations and just learning from each other... Cindy, his wife is also close, I work under her in the International Students Office. They have been such an encouragement and blessing and I am so grateful for their presence in my life... Benny was admitted to the hospital last week and underwent a major surgery on Tuesday which went well. Praise God... He is still in a lot of pain and will undergo another surgery soon... Please keep him in prayer. His condition is rather serious and has a lot of health complications... It's hard to think of what he's going through and none of us know why but one thing we know, that God is faithful and He knows, He's in control. It's incredible just seeing how his family is praising in the midst of the storm, not understanding why but continuing to trust in His goodness... It is truly living the Word that "you meant it for evil but God meant it for good". God is able to change any, every situation. His power works best in our weakness. His light shines the brightest in the darkness, only if we allow Him to.

Micah 7:7-8 - Therefore, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; When I fall, I will arise; When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

I can go on and on but this will suffice for now. Hope fills my heart. And it's because of Him.

As we enter the Holy Week, let us continue to reflect on His sacrifice and love for us.

A final thought: In my Philosophy class the other day (which I love), there was a debate on God and His goodness, as that was what we were covering that day. A non-believer said that she that God (if He existed) hasn't done anything for her and another concurred saying he hasn't seen God doing anything for him...

The only thing I thought of then was really? He DIED for you me, for us. And that's not just something, or anything, that's EVERYTHING. Oh, that our eyes would be open..

Isaiah 53:5 - But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

We ARE healed.

Peace and love.

It's always hard to think of what to say when I've been away for some time. Like where do I begin? What do I say?

I guess I'd just give a recap of the past two weeks

20th Birthday on the 1st: What I thought was going to be a quiet birthday turned out to be quite different. It fell on a Tuesday and the night before, at Christian Fellowship, they had a cake for me so we had some sort of celebration then. Thanks to Cindy and Benny for being so thoughtful. Got an email that night from my friendship family, Ed and Sue who invited me for a birthday dinner and said I could bring friends with me.

On that day itself, Ashli, Kathryn, Connor (glad they were able to come along) and I went to Ed and Sue's house in the afternoon and had a good home-cooked meal. I really appreciate the effort Ed and Sue put in, they had birthday banners put up and a cake for me as well. Along with a gift card as well as a balloon thing (really don't know what to call it).


A picture we took a long time ago, one of the nicer ones - the rest were just us with weird and random facial expressions

We came back to campus at 7plus and watched Glee at 8. Toward the end of the show, the friends brought a huge cake out (yet another one). It was a pleasant surprise indeed. I felt compelled to shout 'Best Birthday Ever'. I wasn't really joking I guess.

Overall, it was a great one. Not because of the cakes or anything like that. I guess I was just surprised that there was actually a celebration. Being far away from home isn't too bad after all. I have great friends here and I am extremely grateful for that.


20 years of faithfulness, that's what I thought about. That's what occupied me, thinking of the times He's walked with me and brought me through all the times I was on the verge of giving up. And to think that He's never left me through it all, through all my failings. His grace is just too much for me to comprehend.

Another key event that took place was the Christian Fellowship Retreat that took place on the 3-4 November. It was at this old firehouse that was converted to a very cosy place by this lady, only 7 minutes drive away from campus. It was a pretty free and easy retreat. The speakers were this couple who have their own ministry dealing with conflicts, forgiveness and reconciliation. They've been doing it for years and they were really amazing. The sessions were really practical and useful. The part I did enjoy most, aside from the sessions were the inpromptu worship session we had on the 2nd day though most people were gone by then. I can really go on about it but I don't think that's necessary.

I have two jobs right now, I was kinda worried that I wouldn't be able to get one before I came here and look where I am right now. Thank God for His providence and care.

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm at Rachel, my roommate's house right now along with XuRong (my other roommate from China). We came down yesterday after our classes and it's been really chill over here. Except for the fact that there're 2 books I have to read, 3 presentations to prepare and 1 paper to write, everything's cool. But still, I won't complain. At least I have the break. And for some reason, I have never been overwhelmed by the tremendous work load (its really crazy sometimes) and I can only attribute it to Him. He sustains me. There really is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Thanksgiving post coming up. The first :)

Where To Begin

I've been away for so long that I really don't know where to start. What exactly do I say? Here comes a very jumbled up post.

Had one of the most 'stressful' weeks last week. I put the inverted commas because the word stress is somehow foreign to me. The amount of workload I had last week was crazy; there was a paper due everyday. And procrastination did not help me. Thank God I managed to get through all the craziness without a nervous breakdown. I've seen so many people around me complaining, looking so tired and overwhelmed. God has been gracious and merciful, He's been my strength, as always.

The fall break came just in time after that and it ended on Tuesday. Classes resumed on Wednesday and now its the weekend again.

One of the most amazing things happened last week: My roommate accepted Christ. God definitely answers prayers. And the way He just moved her is still something I find unreal yet I know it is simply because that is who He is.

God has been speaking to me as well, through various people and circumstances. I feel that this HAS to be in an entirely different post so I shall retreat to that now.

amazed

Results came out today. And once again, as I always have said, I am grateful to Him. I know it is solely because of His mercy and grace, not because of my ability nor effort.

I still cannot understand why but He beckons me to continue trusting and relying on Him because that is where I find strength.

I thought some of the papers were rather hard and I thought my response was ever worse. Needless to say, what I got exceeded my expectations.

I don't really bother actually but for the sake of my lecturers, the college, and my parents, I was just hoping I won't fare too badly, not daring to ask for more than what I deserve.

Lord You amaze me again and again.

A new journey is just beginning. All I know is that You're leading me. I will follow.

Thank you, Lord, thank You. Not because of what I've received but because of who You are. That You've been with me through it all and You will never let me go.

Take heart. There's so much more to life than the now.

We were made for so much more.

it's over

2 years have gone by, just like that. Now I can FINALLY say that College and A-Levels is done with. :)

It's been a whirlwind of a journey and I still can't believe how things have worked out. Through certain events, God led me to choose this path, one that was never in my mind... And I believe if not for His grace, I wouldn't be here. I don't think things could have got any better.

I've learnt a lot from the whole college experience, met great people, joined and was part of the awesome CF. I believe I grew and matured a lot through it all. (I certainly do hope.) I always had it in my mind that college isn't just a time to study and get good grades; it's so much more than that. Leaving a legacy behind; doesn't mean you have to change things around. If God could work through me to just touch one life, I believe it was more than worth it. It is His grace that has brought me through the rough patches and brought different people at different times to offer encouragement and insight. I believe He brought people along my way as well...

I know there were certainly times I could have been better as a person and I guess I probably said and inadvertently did things that hurt people.. To those people, whoever you may be, I am truly sorry. It's quite sad that I won't be going back to MCKL, the place I feel so at home in... I'll surely miss all my 0907 peeps, CF members and other friends..

Yet I believe there is a time for everything and right now its a transition period for me. I've 2 months left in this country before I step outside. I'm not going to think any further right now. It's all in His hands. :)

gone - music video

I posted this on FB, but I'll put it here anyway. 

So college had a music video competition organized by the Sessions Club. We had to submit our video this past Monday and today was the event where we watched the videos and the winners were chosen etc.

I simply put my name in for fun not thinking about what to do. Winner would get prize money but that wasn't even in my mind; competition was too tough. Got Vicki in with me and we decided to do an original song since it bears more marks; she had a chorus so I took it and added the remaining parts; then we wrote the bridge as well. She came over my place during the weekend and we barely slept; editing the video and all. 

Anyway, it turns out pretty okay and by God's grace we came in 2nd place. Really unexpected; the other entries were good as well. Kenneth came in 1st; good for him. I owe it to my awesome batch mates who supported us all the way. Though our batch is the smallest; they came and cheered the most. 

And the song really means a lot to me; I shall not go on about it. 

Credits to Mei Xian and Isaac for being our actors and all the rest who came in as well. 

Thank God for everything.

And thank you.

my source of strength

I'm done with my coursework; just the conclusion left but it will suffice for now till trials are over.

Kinda relieved but I know there's ALOT of editing and rewriting to be done cause I would admit that I didn't put much effort into it; it's not the best I can come up with; haven't read that much either to put together something really great. That's exactly how I felt for my previous coursework folder but somehow it fared well. This time however, is a different story. Oh, well, at least there's still time to edit.

I'm just so amazed to see how He's carried me through this. I literally had to force myself to write on Sunday; cause my whole Saturday was spent doing nothing productive; aside from going to church. Planned to write 700-800 words; ended up writing 900. I prayed for His strength and He did grant me what I requested. Today, I had to write my last paragraph and expected to finish in at least 3 hours; I'm an hour ahead of schedule... Thank You Lord. :)

Trials are coming up next week; Tuesday's my first two papers then I can go home for a few days till the next paper. Although I don't think it'd be such a good idea cause I end up sleeping most of the time. So, those in Ipoh, please remind me to study. Hah.

And as always I haven't started studying. I'll try to start tomorrow... I amuse myself.

Oh today's 20.10.2010; didn't realize it till just now. I recall exactly what happened 1 year ago; perhaps some of you might know it... Alot has changed since then; and of course the wounds have healed; His love did it.

mercy and grace

It's close to 1 and I've still got lots of things to do; I think it'll be at least 2.30 before I can hit the sacks and I've got to wake up at 5smtg.. Oh, well.

Last night, I wrote in my devotional journal "I surrender my results to You o Lord. No matter what happens, I will hold on, I will love You, always." 

So results were released today, for the A-Level exams we took in June. Honestly, I didn't even realize how fast this day would come. I didn't dread it, nor did I look forward to today. I've been quite cool about it. No feelings, not much question nor anticipation nor dismay. I had a feeling that my results would be rather disappointing, at least one or two. And I said to myself it would be alright cause I know how little I worked for it and how much effort I could've put in considering the ample time I had to study. They say God helps those who help themselves. Sounds biblical but it isn't even in the Bible. It's not entirely true cause once again, I experienced His grace and mercy.

Seeing the results slip, I felt like crying, because I am so amazed at what He does. I do not deserve it, yet time and again, He proves that even if I think I cannot do it, He can. Even when I feel I don't deserve it, He shows me grace. I've been guilty of limiting Him and saying no miracle will happen. Well, today I was reminded that they do. And He does it in His own time and way. Of course, I can't continue taking His grace for granted. I often think how it would've been if I had fared rather badly... But I know whatever it is, He has a plan, and it is perfect. 

Romans 11:36 - For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.

God, You truly, truly, amaze me.. I'm in awe of You. Not so much about what I've been granted.. But because of who You are... You are so real, more than I can ever imagine. :)

jg

More pics of College's MidSummer Masquerade/Halloween Masquerade/McRave

Su Kheng as a Mime (Pics from her camera as well.) :)

 The Greek Goddess and Egyptian Queen 

Mid Valley last Friday. Started out with 15+ ppl but everyone else decided to go back instead cause they didn't wanna watch movie with us, they practically came for nothing, didn't even eat. 0_0. Anyway, watched SALT. Pretty good movie. Definitely better than what I expected.  

I tortured the guys with Fuzzy Wuzzy the whole time before the movie, it was hilarious. Hah. Till then. :)

mcrave

The annual college BBQ Nite was renamed McRave this year. The theme was Halloween Masquerade which was changed to MidSummer Masquerade instead. Most people were confused bout what the dress code really was so there was a mix of everything; from scary costumes, to princesses to really random ones like Sushi King guy and whatever else..

It was funny because I was absolutely clueless on what to go as so 2 weeks ago when I was talking to Su Kheng, I told her I had no idea and she was like; JUNGLE GIRL LA. (It's my nickname in college, an inside joke) Errr... Okay. She gave suggestions like coconut shells, leaves and stuff... Lol. Thinking it would be hard I didn't really want to do it. And on Sunday I told Vicki about it and she said it was possible. So we went to shop for stuff on Tuesday and ideas came up here and there.

The event was on Friday evening. Went to change in Vicki's place and the girls helped me with my costume.. Thanks so much!

People said I look more like Bamm Bamm... Kai Yen in the background. Haha

With Shernali (Cowgirl) and Praise (Hip Hop star)

Waiting for the other pics to be uploaded on FB. This is the last college event that the whole 0907 is gonna have... Sigh... Next year we'll have our last semester without the Science people. :(

The event was not bad, and I'm glad Chicken People featured. Chicken People is a group of the July juniors, mostly all international students who did a sketch that had Justin Bieber, George Bush (an Iraqi guy, HAH) and Paris Hilton (a 'sexy' guy).. It was really hilarious and original... Not everyone thinks so but kudos to their efforts and I haven't laughed because a sketch for a very long time already..

Anyway, the dancefloor was opened after the event but as usual I preferred not to join it. Dancing is definitely not my thing. Though I missed the 'best' part of the night, I actually enjoyed my time, just hanging around. :)

Thank God for performing a miracle. It was raining prior to the event, so it was delayed by nearly half an hour. And it was still drizzling in the beginning but it stopped soon after... Isn't He just amazing?

I'll cherish every moment now. Thank You Lord for everything.

a year

It's been a year of college. That fast. So I've got another one to go, but it really feels as if the months have just gone by without me even realizing..

I think most of you know that this wasn't the plan. It's amazing how He work things out but yea I'm here. Sometimes I still wonder how it would've been if I went to Sg instead; what would it be like; what kind of friends would I have; what problems and circumstances would I face... And there are the few times I wish I didn't change my mind... 

But to think of it right now, I cannot imagine myself being anywhere else. God has a plan and I trust Him. Though half my college time has gone by, I know there's another half left. I've made mistakes, I have regrets in my one year here. There are things I wish I could undo, words I wish had gone unsaid, people I wished I could know better, people I wished I didn't meet, times I wish I could turn back.. Isn't that always the case? So I choose not to remain thinking what could've/should've and would've been.

I'm looking forward to what's ahead now. It's been tough, tiring and at times, I feel close to burning out yet His strength has never once failed me and I know it never will. Such a great thing to know... :)

These few weeks, I've been feeling rather weird about something. Had anyone suggested it to me much earlier I would've dismissed it. I never thought about the possibility, until now. I'm not sure why, maybe I'm beginning to see things in a different light. Could it be Him who's opening my eyes? I've been trying so hard, could it just be what's in front of me? I don't want to think. I'll let Him. 

And I really want to thank Him again, for placing me here. For all my friends.. I can already see the friends I'm going to want to keep for the rest of my lives.

I've also realized, that we can go through the same thing again and again yet never learn our lesson... All pursuits apart from Him are futile, they don't last; they can never bring us happiness.. At least not for long. 

He's all I need.

overwhelming

Occasionally, everyone feels pressured. I won't say I'm feeling like that now but I know there's so many things I've got to do in the next few months and thinking about it on a surface level/on paper seems so overwhelming.

I've been staying in the new place for close to a week now and it's been great. I've been really blessed. No complains. :). And I'm ever so grateful for Joyce, who I'm staying with and her sister Jacintha who's on summer break now. They've been so nice and helpful, willing to fetch me to the bus hub early in the morning so I can make it for my 8am classes. The earliest bus only comes at 7 plus. The bus hub isn't too far away so I guess walking isn't such a bad idea but it's still dark at 6plus in the morning so yeah. I guess I need to figure out an alternative soon, don't wanna be a burden though they don't mind. 

College has been rather hectic. Time table is really bad. Monday I have a 4 and a half hour break; it's too long already. And the rest of the days are just full on classes with only 30 minutes break for me to eat. I'd trade my Monday free periods for classes. Well, nothing can be done. Gotta bear with it.

So what exactly do I have to do in the next couple of months that's gonna be so hectic?

1. Lit Units 3 and 4. 4 is coursework which I'm still not decided on what to do; the thing is doing ANYTHING makes it difficult to decide. Sometimes, too much freedom isn't such a good thing. And we're reminded everyday how we need to rush cause there isn't much time.

2. Religious Studies Unit 2 and part of 3. Well Unit 2 is just studying a single topic which means we have to go really in depth. And possibly everything that's got to do with it. And most of it will be my own research.

3. College applications etc. I'm already behind time I think. Want to sit for SAT's in Oct so I can quickly apply then. But there's lots to study for it as well. The English is really tough and my Maths is horrible. Haven't been doing it for so long I can't even remember anything. Time to brush up I guess.

Of course there are other things to do too like CF responsibilities, but that's fine. 

Yet I don't feel pressured. I know within me there is no strength to pull through. I've had so many experiences of nearly burning out, but He's never failed to be my source of strength and comfort. And it's more than enough for me. I can do it, because He will enable me too.

Till then. :)

Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

end and beginning

It's over, finally. 

But classes start tomorrow. Ah. Actually they started on Monday but I didn't go, apparently those still having exams are allowed to skip so yea. Seeing how my 2 week 'break' after most of my papers just went by like that, I crammed studying in 3 days. And ironically, one of the questions that came out was planning an experiment about revising methods; where space revision (consistent studying) and cramming (last minute) would produce better results. The question was worth 12 marks. LOL, seriously.

The thought of having exams didn't deter me from watching football. World Cup's once every 4 years, exams are twice every year... And I've no regrets though I could've done so much better. Well, there's always next year I guess. Hah.

I don't feel liberated knowing this sem's gonna be so much tougher. And definitely more demanding. But I guess I'm ready for whatever is to come. It's not like I have a choice.

I just moved in to the condo yesterday and I guess I'm glad. Only transport's a bit of a hassle, takes more time and stuff but I'm fine with it.

And 4/5 of my fav teams are in the quarter's.. How nice. But now Argentina has play Germany; ah, I don't want either to lose, they should both advance further... Watching the England Germany game was painful. As much as I was glad at least one would go through, watching how badly England lost wasn't a good sight. And so much for not wanting video technology in football, the consequences are great. Hope they decide to introduce it soon, at least EPL will benefit from it too.

And I will be strong, my strength is in You.

exam scare

Exams finally begun yesterday, after a pretty long wait. Not that I was eager cause I was prepared, wasn't very; but I just wanted to to start so it can end.. But by the time it does, it's sem 3 already. Gasp...

Anyway, Religious Studies was more or less predicted and it left me wondering how I'll fare; cause I'm not sure how they'll mark it; it could be extreme... And as for Economics, I have to say I underestimated the paper cause the questions were tricky and time was another factor.

Today, I had English Literature, again. Retook the unit. Unseen part was so-so, Prose was not bad, cause the question that came out was what we did for trials last year but the worst was yet to come. Honestly, the moment I saw the two questions for Poetry, I was scared. I wasn't prepared for either one. Really unexpected. So I prayed and He, always so faithful, was by my side, giving me peace that I would not give up.... I just tried to write whatever I could..

This was one of the rare times where I feel somewhat depressed after doing a paper; can't recall how long it's been... But after awhile, I snapped out of it and felt like slapping myself....

What is THIS???? One day, I'll look back and see how futile this is; see that it's not gonna mean anything much in years to come.. And I guess if I've tried my best, even if I didn't, there's just no point fretting or regretting... Leaving it all to Him. The rest of the papers too. 2 more Psychology Units. 

He is ever faithful. 

moving

I'm gonna move to this place soon! :D

For those of you who don't know, I've been staying at my aunt's place in SS5, Kelana Jaya since I came to KL in July. Aunt used to drop and pick me from the LRT station but toward the end of last semester till now, she doesn't anymore. So I take the bus and then LRT to KL Sentral and it's a 10 minute walk to college from there. Travelling's quite a hassle sometimes, but gotten used to it.

I guess its high time to move out now. No personal reasons. But to be honest, I guess the stress that's come from being home alone with the dogs and all the sleepless nights is just telling me it's time to go someplace else. Time to be really independent now. 

So, I'll be staying at Pelangi Utama, 15 minutes walk away from 1Utama. Sam's friend stays there and her parents bought it, she's really nice for letting me stay there. Said I didn't need to pay rent but of course it isn't nice like that so my mum said we'll pay a fixed price to at least cover the electricity and stuff. It's still cheap whatever it is, compared to renting a room anywhere else. College accommodation is 700 for a single room a month! 550 for triple sharing I think... Really expensive. The only drawback here is that transport will be even more troublesome. I'll have to walk much more and take the bus instead, and journey times will be longer. But I guess it'll be worth it. There's the awesome pool and gym (not that I'm gonna use it). Hah. I've seen the place once, looks really comfy. Thank God for such a blessing. 

Apart from that, I guess things have been alright. Mood swings here and there but I've learnt so much and I'm grateful for all that's happened. I will never understand, I don't have to. My trial results are okay, seeing that I didn't really put any effort into it, last minute studying again, I guess it's not so bad. Again, it's all because of His mercy and grace. I must put effort, keep telling myself that and it makes me wonder when I will actually study hard. 

2nd Leg semi's later, fingers crossed. Hope to see another comeback! Please, please, please! And the Chelsea game's on Sunday. Seeing that the chances of getting 4th place is only like 5% or so, I rather we lose, and hope Chelsea gets the title. Anything but Manure!! My dislike for them is extremely justified, many would agree. Then again, how ironic is it that the Scum is depending on Liv to win the game so they can win the title? It's as if their fate is in the hands of the enemy? Oh, and I can imagine what will happen. MU fans watching the game, cheering Liverpool on, and if they win and if MU eventually wins the title; they'll turn to us and say; HAHA, Liverpool s*cks. How typical.

Sleepover in college's tomorrow. :). It's been a tradition of the CF committee to have sleepovers for discussions. When I was in the previous committee we had 2 sleepovers; one for semester planning and the other for easter. This time, we were so close to not having one cause of certain things. May God be with us through everything. 

CF's premiering Come What May tomorrow; do come!! 

Till then.

I know it'll be okay, You promised me. I shall not settle for less, You only want the best for me.

stress

With all the things going on/about to; I should be burned out!! Thankfully; He supplies my needs and continually supplies me strength. Thank You Jesus. :)

There's much that's going on. My aunt left for China this morning for 3 weeks; mum's gonna come for few days every week and the rest of the week; I'd be home alone. Good thing there're only 3 dogs at home compared to the 6 and she was gone 6 weeks last time too. Her friend used to drop in and help but she can't really this time so I'll have to do all the dog stuff. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks; not at all.

Trials are next week and of course I haven't studied. I won't be Serene anymore if I'd started; at least not the one you know. Even if I want to, Lit coursework is demanding much of my time, brain power and energy. Some people wonder why I'd put up with all the stress; it's the most demanding, stressful and most people agree, toughest subject. But the reason is cause I really like the subject though I always thought I was gonna struggle through. Thankfully, it isn't so bad.

Gotta work harder, so much to finish up right now. Been slacking alot this semester and I know it. I'm present for classes but half the time I don't even know what's going on; then I forget what I learn. Sounds bad I know.

I'll need Your mercy and grace to pull me through this period though I have done nothing to deserve it. I don't even dare hope.. Will You surprise me again? I'd do my part, at least I'll try. I don't need anything/anyone else.. You matter most.

choices

I just got back at 10plus. Tiring day. Didn't really have to stay back today but ended up helping the Student Council with some Treasure Hunt stuff. Dinner after that; funny. Hah.

I'm really tired now. These few days; two weeks to be exact, I haven't been getting enough sleep. And I don't seem to have the time to catch up on it too. Oh, well.

I'm still not sure which church I want to commit to right now. It's been 8 months yet I still haven't found a place I can really settle in and perhaps serve. I don't want to keep church hopping; keep going from here to there.. Yet I still haven't found a place; there seems to be a problem everywhere. Not really a problem but just something about it that stops me from wanting to commit. Perhaps I'll just wait awhile more. But one thing's for sure, I'm still going to church. The tendency to be lazy and not go is so high sometimes.. But once you start, it'll become a habit. There can't be any compromises.

I'm quite clear on where I want to study after A-Levels now. I believe it will happen, if it's what He has willed it to be. Though I really hope it would come to pass. And for that reason, I guess I've got to be consistent, got to work hard. I can't waste my time, 'brains' and everything else I've been given.

And oh, the March batch came in yesterday, they had orientation for two days. When I was walking into college yesterday, a junior from the January intake said to me in an excited manner;
"Serene, I saw someone who looks like you!!!"
"Oh, who?"
"A guy from the March intake!"
"...........A guy....???? Are you insulting me?????"
"No, no, no... Like guy version of you la."
"Sure or not??"
"Yeah, he's wearing green, standing there only, go and see!"
So I went to check; and of course I don't think we look alike. Today I asked some of my friends and they found it amusing. Kai Yen even went up to him and said "Eh you so leng chai, take picture can or not?" Swt. The guy refused. Haha. I just hope he doesn't think we're stalking him or something. But nearly all of them think we look alike now; especially the nose. I can't say anything about it. Lol. Ain't it cool I have a 'twin'. And I haven't mentioned there's a John Chua in college too. LOL. So many brothers. HAH.

Lit coursework is gonna take up my time. Only the intro's done and there's only weeks left.. But I guess it'll be alright. He's my strength; all I need is found in Him.

My heart skipped a beat; when you entered. You'll be leaving. Don't want you to... But maybe it's better like this.

kids carnival

College organized Kids Carnival on Saturday, 13th. It was for charity and part of our Moral Studies project too. The money we raised was used to sponsor kids (Myanmar Refugees) from MalaysianCare to come and play games. Each kid was given a booklet worth 10bucks each. So in our groups, we had to set up our own game booths and stuff for them. My group planned to set up two; one; a game we call Pin the Moustache on the Choi San; revised version of Pin the Tail on the Mule and the second game was 'Shoot Me'.. Kids basically just get to shoot our human targets with water guns or throw sponges. It was kinda like a last minute idea; did some changes here and there. The original plan was to let the guys pop their heads up here and there with something to block them; but they ended up taking it away and had free 'showers'.

The Choi San game failed; which kid would want to play??? But surprisingly our water game was a success. Seriously; kids started crowding the place and some of them kept coming back; spending most of their coupons at our stall. HAHA. Someone was saying we were kinda promoting the wrong 'values' but c'mon it's just a game; where's the violence in that?

Anyway, at least we made some profit.. Compared to many other groups that worked so hard in preparing their stall; we barely had anything to prepare; we kinda earned much more.. So yea! I was kinda worried cause being the only girl in the group with 8 guys, I wasn't sure how it was gonna work out. But thankfully it was okay. =D

Our failed Choi San game

He deserves to be 'shot'. Hah

Moral Studies Group Pic..

Hopefully we'll get decent marks for our group effort; 40% weightage. If we can get good marks, plus another 10% from assignments, I just need to make sure I get a few marks in the exam and I'll pass! It's just Moral anyway.

I'm holding on.