Reflections on Easter and His Faithfulness

I posted this last Easter. It's really interesting because the commercialism of Easter is even stronger here.

The irony is that being a Christian nation, or rather, a post-Christian nation, Easter, just like Christmas has become a cultural holiday and celebration. But rather than the message of the Cross being the main event, Easter bunnies and Easter eggs and whatnot have become the symbols of the celebration. I have no idea how it happened and this isn't the point of the post. And yes, while some non-Christians do go to church on this day, the real meaning of Easter - His death and resurrection is only known and understood by Christians. I might be wrong but this is once again, just my opinion.

Whereas back home, only Christians celebrate the event and understand its meaning... People from other religions might be ignorant but are always told by the Christians the significance of the day.

But it is most sad when we ourselves do not think about it. When we take it for granted. I don't believe in celebrating His death and resurrection only one day in a year. We need to ponder on it, thank Him for it every single day of our lives. Why?

Because His death and resurrection is the only reason we can truly live.

1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

Ephesians 2:4-5
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved.

Who can comprehend the extend of His love and mercy? No matter how hard we try, His love is unfathomable. It goes beyond reason, it goes against the law of nature.

But He does not require us to understanding but to trust. To accept His love and walk on in this new life. That we may say, as He did 'Not my will but Yours be done'. He paid the greatest price - nothing we give to the Lord will make up for that. But that does not mean we do not give. We give because we love Him. We love Him because He first loved us.

That being said, I had a very good Easter celebration. Went down with the gospel choir to a church down at Lowell, the same one where we attended the Worship Conference last fall. It was interesting as they had 7 speakers who had 7 minutes each to speak about Jesus' sayings on the Cross. We were invited to perform a song.

Easter Service on Sunday at the church I've been attending regularly, how I found and decided to go to this church is a miracle in itself - He works. Was invited over by the Pastor's wife to their house for lunch and it was a very blessed time. They had 6 sons and for some reason, despite the many differences in character and family traits, it reminded me of my own. The grandparents were there too, having all generations together to celebrate a very important Day was just great. I think it was the first time I actually celebrated Easter with 'family' because all along in the past, it was just going to Church.

But more than anything, I am realizing how much God has blessed me. How He has been faithful. I came across a post in the past:

"There are many uncertainties; questions about what if I don't maintain the required CGPA to keep my merit scholarship, funding and settling down, finding the right church etc. Whatever they may be, I choose not to allow it to bother me, but that they may lead me back to Him. It's all in His hands. If He led me to it, He will lead me through it. He's a faithful God, no doubt about that."

I posted this on April 28 last year when I made my decision to attend Colby-Sawyer. And whats amazing is that

1) I didn't just maintain the required GPA, I excelled, far beyond my own expectations. And I only have Him to give glory to.

2) I settled down well with His provision and bringing various people to me who have been such a blessing... I could not ask for more.

3) He provided me with not just one but two jobs when I was doubtful of even securing one. And most recently, I was selected out of the many applicants and few positions available, to be a Resident Assistant for next year. Which is what I love to do, being in contact with people and it will ease my family a lot financially. And this is all His doing - not mine.

4) As I mentioned earlier, I've been attending the Andover Congregational Church. I never envisioned myself to attend a church so different in terms of the order of worship and running of the service, from what I was raised up in. Yet the first time I walked in that church, God showed me different signs and confirmed that there was where He wants me to be, at least for now. Because it is never about the denomination nor the practice, it is Him.

I can go on and on.... But the main point is to show that God is indeed faithful and we can trust Him. He knows what we need, when we need it and how we need it...

Thank You Lord, thank You... You are the Giver, You are the Gift - the greatest Gift of all...

Grateful

Spring Break was amazing to say the least... Being with everyone at the Place of Promise once again was an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. This time around, I had more conversations and got to know the residents better and learned more about Him. There were stories that broke me, they all know what it means to suffer and some of them had such a horrible childhood it moved me to tears to see where they are now... Seeing God work in their lives is absolutely incredible. They give me more reason to love Him and know how real He is and for that I am grateful. And as for Beth, seeing how God has been using her to touch these people's lives... Its just incredible! All glory to God!

Beth drove a van up to drop me back in school with all the ladies... It was a rather emotional farewell, especially on my part. I will not see some or perhaps most of them again, cause even when I return next time (not sure when), they might have completed the program... But He comforted me.

On another note, I am extremely pleased with the weather. There was SOOOO much snow when we left for Spring Break, probably 1 feet or higher. And it looked as if it was going to stay... But it's been so nice these few days, in the 40s-60 (5-20 C) during the day. I am honestly not sure how I'm going to take the heat when I go back home... Been too used to this weather. But as people said, I've not experienced a real winter... Well, thank God then.

One thing I really took from being at the Place of Promise is the importance of having a reading time. The residents have to read in the mornings for an hour or two everyday and I usually sat in with them though I didn't really have to... Having undisturbed, quiet time to read was something that I haven't really had since college begun... The only books I read, aside from what I read for devotion, are those that are required for classes and I have so much on my reading list to catch up on... Really trying to cultivate this habit now. Not easy but possible if I set my mind to it and get my priorities right.

51 days till I fly home, can't wait! :)

Back Again

Spring Break officially starts tomorrow but I left college today cause my class ended at 11. Beth (the director of the Place of Promise) came to pick me up at 1..

I'm here now, extremely excited to be here... Just a few hours in and I am loving it already.... It was so great to see everyone here again and I'm just anticipating what God wishes to do through me here... And also in the lives of these people. Lots of things happened (some rather drastic) since I left two months ago but its all good now... At least He knows whats really going on...

Just being here, watching God work in people's lives is a blessing. It's painful sometimes to listen to these people when they talk about their pain and helplessness.. At that moment you just wish you could help but there is really nothing you can do.. And I start to think, Lord, why? Why do these people have to have it so hard? But God is still God, He knows...

I heard a resident pray out loud during group today and I started tearing up. She was new when I came in the last time and she was not really interested in this whole God thing... But now she's stepped up to pray... What could be more beautiful?

The atmosphere is still rather unsettled sometimes, and only God's love can truly change this place. But I cannot deny the reality of His presence when I look at these people and see work in progress.... I look at myself and I see the same thing, we are all broken people who are in need for God whether we have had a history with drugs or alcohol or whatever it may be... We are all in need of His grace and mercy, we cannot go about on our own. I don't ever want to...

Grateful, just grateful. And I love Him more.

Navs Winter Conference

Last Friday, 9 of us went down to Connecticut for the Navigators Winter Conference, Northeast Region. It was a good time to get away from college and all the work.

I will not delve into the details as I used to in the past... But it was a good 3 days of listening to the Word (the theme was The Light, The Life), attending worskshops, worshipping together, meeting people from other schools and just relaxing. There were approximately 180 people from 15 different schools, we were one the smallest groups.

As usual, I didn't want it to end, wished I could stay on... The conference was at Camp Jewell, YMCA. It was located in the woods so it was really remote... The campsite was nice though, felt really close to nature... Had meaningful conversations, learnt more about Him... Overall, I'm just really grateful for the experience that I had and I will definitely go back next year...

That's it for now.... Till then!

2011

2011

If there was one word to define the year, it would be transition.

I turned 20, it was a transition from adolescence to adulthood.

There were 3 main chapters to this year which happened to be 3-4 months each.

1. The Final Semester at MCKL (January-May)

It honestly didn’t really feel like the last due to the fact that I only had to be in college 10 hours a week and that there were only 15 of us left in our batch. Although I occasionally felt like there was no point in going to college, I still wanted to finish well. When I got my acceptance and offer letter from Colby-Sawyer, I started being complacent. I guess it didn’t matter if I did that well or not since I had the two A’s to back me up. Ended up doing really well, all glory to God. I’m still amazed by His grace up to this day, I could not have done it without Him. I do not think I deserve it, but that’s what grace is.

But results weren’t the main point. It was the closing of a chapter that had become part of my life, no, it was my life. I had made strong friendships, served in the CF which I believed contributed to my growth, had heartbreaks and joyous times. Still, it was time to leave and surprisingly, I was more than ready when I had to. I’m guessing it’s because during the last semester, I felt like I had my time and I was ready to move on.

2. The Summer Break at Home (May-August)

I know we don’t have a ‘summer’ break back home since we pretty much have summer all year round. That’s what I tell everyone here when they ask me about the weather. But that’s what I’d be referring to from now on. These were the last few months at home. I honestly didn’t do much, sleeping really late and waking up in time for lunch. I was ‘preparing’ for my leaving to the States and although I knew it, the reality only hit me hard a few days before I left.

It was hard, knowing that things would never be the same again. I’d be back during the summer breaks but I would never have those years again.

Leaving my family, friends behind, I felt like Abraham, being called into a foreign land.

And all I could do was to place it all in His hands, “I trust You Lord, I trust You.”

3. The First Semester in the States (September- December)

I landed in a new land which seems like a spiritual desert. Originally uncertain of my coming here and if this is really where I’m supposed to be, He reminded me that this is exactly where He wants me. By His superseding strength, I was able to stay strong in Him and the transition was smoother than I expected. I did not experience a culture shock nor got terribly homesick. I was seeing His promise “I will never leave you nor forsake you” and “I will not leave you comfortless” come true. I am grateful indeed.

He’s provided me great friends, amazing mentors and I’ve found my place serving in CF. Slowly but surely, He is revealing Himself as well as His plans not just while I’m here but for the future as well.

2011, a year of endings and beginnings. A year of joy and pain. A year of faith, hope and love. A year of experiencing God's faithfulness, of seeing the Word come to Life.

Thank You

winter break

So the first semester has ended. I had a few doubts before I came particularly in relation to studies:

1. MATH. The thought of taking a Math class (only need one) was not something I looked forward to. I was never really bad at Math, but I just don't like it.

2. Maintaining a GPA of 3.3 to keep the scholarship which isn't really that high but considering the fact that the academic system here is wholly new and based on consistency, I had no idea what to expect.

Needless to say, my Math class was actually enjoyable and I aced it. My professor made it as practical as possible so all the stuff we learnt (more like revised) were useful and applicable. And as for my GPA, my mid term grades were pretty good and my final ones were even better. They were right when they said I needn't worry. Thank God. Couldn't have pulled through those late nights working on papers if it were not for Him.

Having said that, the semester was great and as much as I'd like to do a reflection on it, I'd save it for next year when my freshman year ends. It'll make more sense then.

I've been at Kathryn's place in Haverhill for a week now. Will be heading to Place of Promise tomorrow. I'm really excited about what awaits me yet a part of me's afraid of this new experience. I really wanted to do something during the winter break and I thought volunteering would be the way to go. It's a time for me to give back and not just relax. After searching for organizations to work with and contacting them, I believe God opened this door for me. It would not have been my first choice considering that the nature of the work is more challenging than if I had worked at places like YWAM or YMCA. And I know His plans are always infinitely better than I what I would want for myself. A living proof is the fact that I am here at CSC and not anywhere else in the States. I had no idea.

Anyway, a highlight of the first week of break so far is going to Boston to meet with the other friends from college. In short, we went to Chinatown, had Dim Sum which was pretty good and surprisingly reasonable. I spoke in Cantonese to the workers there and they actually understood me. Hah. We walked around Boston for a couple of hours. The pictures are all on Facebook but here's a group one:

A picture by the tree at Faneuil Hall at 2.30 p.m

Another one at 5.

Winter started yesterday but it sure doesn't feel like it. It hasn't been snowing and some people are saying this is the warmest winter thus far. Its supposed to be snowing for at least two weeks now. Apparently its coming though. We get snow in October and November but not December, its weird.

That's it for now. Christmas is coming, will post something soon. God bless you all!

close to the end

In short, the semester's over. Well not really, but my classes are.

2 final papers due and 1 exam next week and college will be done for this semester.

Been sleep deprived for the past few days especially on Monday and Tuesday. The result = slept through my alarm to miss my class which I was supposed to present with a friend. Yes it was horrible. Yes I was mad at myself. Yes I was disappointed at my irresponsibility. I usually set two alarms and I thought that I'd still get up even after snoozing the first one. Turns out the other wasn't really turned on.... My friends were telling me I was being too hard on myself, it happens to everyone. Err, maybe not when they're supposed to present? And it was my first time too. Needless to say, I emailed my professor and explained what happened. And because I've been fairly consistent in class, she decided to give me extra work for the second part of this course (in Spring 2013) instead of affecting my grade now. Thank God really.

I got over it after awhile. Learnt a good lesson and I'm not gonna let it happen again. At least this craziness is over.

To go back on all that's happened will be too long so I will not do that.

My winter break plans are kinda set now. Will be going to Kathryn's place in Mass for a week, then spend 2 weeks volunteering at Place of Promise in Mass as well; it's a Christian home for people who want to start a new life so there are all kinds of people there; homeless, sick, ex-drug addicts etc. It will be interesting, will be spending Christmas there too... And after that, I'll be headed to Brooklyn, NY for a week.

Till then!

God bless.

You're my strength, all I need

It's always hard to think of what to say when I've been away for some time. Like where do I begin? What do I say?

I guess I'd just give a recap of the past two weeks

20th Birthday on the 1st: What I thought was going to be a quiet birthday turned out to be quite different. It fell on a Tuesday and the night before, at Christian Fellowship, they had a cake for me so we had some sort of celebration then. Thanks to Cindy and Benny for being so thoughtful. Got an email that night from my friendship family, Ed and Sue who invited me for a birthday dinner and said I could bring friends with me.

On that day itself, Ashli, Kathryn, Connor (glad they were able to come along) and I went to Ed and Sue's house in the afternoon and had a good home-cooked meal. I really appreciate the effort Ed and Sue put in, they had birthday banners put up and a cake for me as well. Along with a gift card as well as a balloon thing (really don't know what to call it).


A picture we took a long time ago, one of the nicer ones - the rest were just us with weird and random facial expressions

We came back to campus at 7plus and watched Glee at 8. Toward the end of the show, the friends brought a huge cake out (yet another one). It was a pleasant surprise indeed. I felt compelled to shout 'Best Birthday Ever'. I wasn't really joking I guess.

Overall, it was a great one. Not because of the cakes or anything like that. I guess I was just surprised that there was actually a celebration. Being far away from home isn't too bad after all. I have great friends here and I am extremely grateful for that.


20 years of faithfulness, that's what I thought about. That's what occupied me, thinking of the times He's walked with me and brought me through all the times I was on the verge of giving up. And to think that He's never left me through it all, through all my failings. His grace is just too much for me to comprehend.

Another key event that took place was the Christian Fellowship Retreat that took place on the 3-4 November. It was at this old firehouse that was converted to a very cosy place by this lady, only 7 minutes drive away from campus. It was a pretty free and easy retreat. The speakers were this couple who have their own ministry dealing with conflicts, forgiveness and reconciliation. They've been doing it for years and they were really amazing. The sessions were really practical and useful. The part I did enjoy most, aside from the sessions were the inpromptu worship session we had on the 2nd day though most people were gone by then. I can really go on about it but I don't think that's necessary.

I have two jobs right now, I was kinda worried that I wouldn't be able to get one before I came here and look where I am right now. Thank God for His providence and care.

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm at Rachel, my roommate's house right now along with XuRong (my other roommate from China). We came down yesterday after our classes and it's been really chill over here. Except for the fact that there're 2 books I have to read, 3 presentations to prepare and 1 paper to write, everything's cool. But still, I won't complain. At least I have the break. And for some reason, I have never been overwhelmed by the tremendous work load (its really crazy sometimes) and I can only attribute it to Him. He sustains me. There really is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Thanksgiving post coming up. The first :)

The Beginning of Winter, No ?

First snow of the year - really pretty! But not so when it gets in your face. The snow was kinda fluffy and still clean, probably won't be as nice when it gets really thick. I'm glad the weather's gonna be back to normal tomorrow. It's only been a month of fall - this is too quick!

Going to Lowell, MA tomorrow with the gospel choir for a worship conference at Whole Armour International (a church); will be singing with other choirs as well. Only for a night but it's gonna be great! And it's all paid for as well, except for some meals. Couldn't ask for more.

Here's a picture from our Back 2 School Concert last week; it was immense!

Really grateful for everything. Thank You Lord.

Be back soon.

the best day

I just remembered I haven't written about what happened the other day that I called one of the best days since I've been here.

I went to church, Wellspring Worship Center in West Lebanon, where Cindy who's the International Student Advisor as well as the CF Advisor. She and her husband, Benny, are strong believers and I just started one to one meetings with them recently, thank God for them really. Anyway, it was the church they regularly attended and they got a van to take some of us there.

Lee Grady, a journalist, author and a speaker spoke that morning and God worked through him. Somehow everything about the service just appealed to me; the worship, the message, the altar call, the post altar call worship... Lee spoke on praising God no matter what circumstance we're in and he took it from how David encouraged himself in the Lord. It was a timely message. I've been to a couple of churches but that morning, the service just made me feel so much at home, right there in church. And I couldn't be happier.

I got a double portion of the Word as Lee also came to speak to us at college. Technically it wasn't in college, but the Baptist church just right beside the college. I wished more students had turned up; there were probably 10-15 students at most and the other half were people from the town but numbers became irrelevant later on. The message was really different from what he preached in the morning; it was about the Father's heart and how our father's weaknesses and flaws often affect the way we view God. For example, if one has an alcoholic father, the person might look at God to be unpredictable and this will impair the relationship.

Needless to say, I was touched that night and was ministered to. God did amazing things not just in me, but in many people's hearts that night and healing took place. It's just great to know that we serve the same God who never changes and that in itself is something to thank God for. How great He is!!

Words were said to me that night that I will probably never forget. Hope arose in my heart that sometimes doubts, sometimes questions... But He reminded me that He had so much more and that it was only the beginning...

How could it not be the best day? God showed Himself, God spoke and God healed.

I was reminded, despite the many emotions I felt that night, that He wants me to trust Him, irregardless of my feelings.

The Lord is good, always.

The States Thus Far

I'm just so grateful to God that I'm here...

There were a few adjustments I had to make and am still making but overall its been great. I'm just gonna go through a couple of things I've experienced etc. Condensing everything into a single post is not easy, it turned out longer than I wanted it to be but oh well.

1. The flight was surprisingly good. It went without a glitch. My flight was a day after Hurricane Irene and because so many flights were cancelled during the weekend I was expecting some huge aftermath as well. Turns out, there were no delays and absent-minded me didn't make much blunders. Thank God. I was tired after the flight and it was painful to sit for so long especially during the 2nd (11 hour flight). I had 3 flights; KLIA - Narita, Tokyo, Tokyo - Chicago, Chicago - Boston. Altogether including transit time was 28 hours. Pretty long huh. But God sustained me through it all.

2. The families I've met here, two in particular. One is a local couple. The wife is originally from HK and the husband's from here. They hosted me for a night because my friendship family (every international student here has one) wasn't around when I arrived. Anyway this couple was really nice and their house was just beautiful. Most of the houses in the area are! Then I met my real friendship family as well and just last night I went to their home and had dinner with them. They are so nice too. Both families are Christians, how wonderful is that. God is certainly bringing people to help me keep my feet on the ground. I can't ask for more.

3. The orientation both International Student Orientation and the freshman one was great and not too taxing. There were talks, activities etc planned everyday so I was quite busy but there wasn't anything too bad and I enjoyed it. Got to know lots of people through it as well.

4. The residence hall I'm staying in is more than I could ask for. Its a substance free dorm so there is absolutely no alcohol allowed and even if a person staying here comes back drunk, should he be caught will be charged with internal possession of alcohol. The state law is that no one under 21 is allowed to drink and drugs are absolutely prohibited. Its a rather safe place I daresay. Of course there are those who go agaisnt these rules but its hard to fine. Just need to mix with the right people and no problem would arise. Just last night a few parties were busted so its kinda interesting. This is America indeed. But on the contrary, my hall is probably never gonna host any of these parties for obvious reasons and its not really loud too so its super chill. And most of the people are really nice too which ties in with my next point which concerns

5. The roommates. I have 3 of them and initially I thought it'd be a problem to get privacy and all that. And if there's a bad hat among one of us its gonna be a huge problem to deal with for one year. So far (I hope it'll remain this way) things have been great. We don't have any personality clashes and no one's really dirty so its fine. We try to accomodate each other as well when one needs to sleep etc. Not everyone is always in the room so there is privacy at times. One of my roommate's a Christian and I'm so glad God answered my prayer (and hers too) for another. She's pretty solid in her faith I daresay so its great. There's a girl from China as well so its nice to have one from the same continent if not country. Hey, I'm Chinese too.

5. The friends I've made. I've met alot of people but not all of these people are my friends. I was told that most Americans are friendly but not deep and it seems to be true. Some people, you just can't get past a certain stage and its just a superficial friendship. Even a 'How are you' when you past each other doesn't mean much which to us Asians is like 'seriously'? But anyway, I've made a couple of friends (most in my residence hall) who are really nice and are not up for all those partying nonsense as well. Some of my other friends I've made aren't that 'innocent' so to speak but I'm not gonna be judgmental and I still accept them as they are. I'm glad that at least they are accepting enough to mix with someone different and they don't have any problems with that. But they're nice as people and its fun being with them as well.

6. The food is fattening. Haha. Well I'm trying to have a balanced diet here and its all Western food though sometimes there are international dishes as well. But its not too bad and sometimes its really good so no complaints!

7. The weather. It gets really chilly sometimes and without a sweater, I'd be really cold. But its still bearable. Its sunny in the day but its still cold with the wind blowing, definitely colder than Cameron's on any normal day. It was raining for a few days as well but I'm glad that season is over now. It's not fun walking in the rain with the COLD wind blowing right at you. Grrr... I don't want winter to come! (I'd like to see and feel and play with the snow but thats all! I sound like a kid now. Haha) The winters can last up to 5 months here. o_o

8. The classes. I've had a week of classes and I'm already having a couple of reading and writing assignments. Participation is vital in college and it affects your grade if you don't speak up. Thankfully I haven't had much of a problem saying things now and then. The professors are good so far. The only thing I have to do is time management and make sure I complete my assignments on time or I'm gonna suffer, badly. Oh and for this semester I'm taking:

A Pathway class (its like a course where we do in our first semester and then a continuation in our sophomore year that is a requirement for our education here).
Sociology
English
Math
Writing (mandatory for all freshmen)

I'm happy with the classes I'm enrolled in as well, I chose all of them. :)

9. The Christian Fellowship. I've only been to one meeting last Monday, a pretty small group but it was nice. Shared some testimonies and I talked about how God calmed the storms in me about coming here etc. Its not really the same as the CF's I've been involved in but what does it matter. As long as we serve the Lord, it doesn't matter how we do it. As long as He is glorified. As long as the gospel is being lived out. But the people are great and its so much more personal and close-knit. I went for a leadership retreat today and it was super chill. It was at a house just by beautiful Lake Sunapee. You can Google that =p. Glad for the new spiritual support group I've found, may we continue to walk and shine for Him in this place.

10. The campus. Its small but not TOO small. It takes around 15 minutes at most to walk from one end right to the other. Which is good especially during the winter when you wouldn't want to be walking much. Its just the perfect size. And its so green as well. The campus is pretty old so the buildings aren't too fancy but its still nice.

11. The town. New London is a beautiful place. A quaint, peaceful town. Trees are everywhere. Not many people live here so its not busy at all. The shops are along the side of the roads, mostly isolated buildings which makes it really nice. The pictures are all on my FB. Only walked into town once, no time yet. But I've got 4 years to explore as much as I want so yea. There's absolutely no public transport here so getting around won't be too easy but its not too hard either. Once in awhile the college vans leave for Concord, the capital and my friendship family offered to bring me shopping at other places when I need to so no problem with that. Also, my roommate has a car. Heh.

Overall, I would say I'm glad. I believe God had His purpose in allowing me to come here. And though I was initially fearful of so many things prior to coming, everyday He's showing me more and more of His grace and releasing me from my fears. Instead, He bids me each moment to draw near, to depend on Him and Him alone. He tells me that my only refuge, my stronghold is Him and its with Him I am able to overcome every challenge. I know the days ahead won't be easy and I have my concerns. But because I have Him I am strengthened and I am not afraid.

He leads me, I follow.

Lead me on, Lord. You're all I have, You're all I need.

And I love you guys :)

singapore

Just got back from Singapore this morning. Went there on Friday. I'm too lazy to go through the details so I'd just mention a few of the highlights of the trip;

- Festival of Praise 2011. Fri and Sat night. New Life Worship was amazing and worshipping God along with thousands of people was so uplifting. There were moments where I just stood there totally in awe and loss for words just imagining what it'd be like in heaven one day where everyone will worship Him in spirit and in truth. Such joy indeed. John Bevere, known for authoring great Christian titles was the speaker and he was a solid speaker. Thank God for using and speaking through him.

- Chilling, eating, walking around, going here and there. Need I say more?

- Just spending time with the brothers. :)

I'm grateful I was able to go on this trip. Thank You.

I was in KL yet again over the weekend for the US Apps Workshop for the second time around and as a facilitator this time around. The facilitator group was made up of those who studied/ are studying/going to study in the States. You can read about my previous experience here.

When I read it over, all I can say is Wow.

Many people talk about how tedious it is, how they had sleepless nights and often felt like they didn't want to go on. I have to admit I did feel kinda tired sometimes during the application process and there were times I asked why I'm even doing it. But I never felt that I couldn't go on because I knew He would carry me through. And I can only thank Him, never enough but I thank Him anyway.

The workshop this time around wasn't that mentally exhausting since I didn't really have much information to process. I was in charge to speak along with two others for the Financial Aid portion and though I was initially unsure how to go about it, He filled me with peace and I guess it went okay.

But more than that, I would remember the people I met. I barely knew any of the facilitators yet over two days, I made lots of new friends and there are those whom I hope will continue to be close to although we'll be dispersed all around the States. And I realized what a small world this is having met so many people I have mutual friends with!

One thing that struck me during the workshop was when some facilitators shared how the US experience really opens up one's mind and changes the person to think differently or at least look at things widely.

I'll post my feelings on that in another post. I'm done for now.

Thank You.

you'll never walk alone

16th July 2011; a day to remember indeed.

Stv and me went to Starbucks at Amcorp Mall while waiting for Abel who was at Urbanscapes near Asia Jaya. It was 3plus by the time we left and reached Masjid Jamek where he had to switch trains at 4. We were surprised to see the huge crowd lining up to buy tickets. Of course we knew many would go for the game but we didn't expect so many at the station at that time.



We reached the stadium just in time for the match. Stv initially bought RM58 tickets for us both and we were supposed to sit there. But I received 2 grandstand tickets from a church friend who works in Standard Chartered. I'm really grateful. We sat there and it was quite a good view though during the second half it was quite difficult to see the action taking place at the other end (where most of the goals were scored) since we were closer to the other end. Still, it was more than what I could ask for and it was amazing. 20 minutes into the game, the people around me started looking to the back and we realized it was an MU fan. They started shouting and asking him to take it off. It was a white guy this time and he aggravated the fans when he kissed the MU crest. Seriously? I was anxious for them to stop looking and focus on the game which happened shortly after the scene.

The 80,000 crowd

I expected the crowd to cheer more throughout cause I felt it wasn't as loud as it could and should be. Support for the national team exceeded my expectations and I guess it was a good thing cause I wasn't really contributing any. Not that I'm anti Malaysia or anything, far from that really. But like it or not, I was and am all out for the Reds and that's it. I have to admit I was rather impressed at how the national team played against a very relaxed Liverpool. I'd give them the credit for their hard work and persistence. But even against an under par Liverpool performance; it clearly wasn't good enough. The fact that the score ended 6-3 says everything. I found it amusing how the Reds were so relaxed throughout the game; it was evident in the way they celebrated goals (or lack of) and maintained such a cool composure even when 'threathened'. They weren't really complacent and still played at a wholly different class. I thought the 2nd half was much better though; the team played better together. Aquilani and Kelly stood out for me. Even players like Ngog, Poulsen and Shelvey who are usually on the bench played really well.

The match was exciting from start to finish though the most 'kan cheong' (suspenseful) times were after Malaysia seemed to be on the verge of a comeback (good thing they didn't). But I really thought Liverpool had better be on their feet or they might end up equalizing, which were just irrational fears of mine. Obviously they had the upper hand, no question about it.

The players during the half-time break

Lap of honour after the game :)

Still, it was exhilirating and the crowd was rather loud and supportive for both sides. My throat hurt badly after the game but it was worth it. Just being with all the other Reds supporters from the nations; knowing that there are just so many! It fostered a sense of pride and belonging; although everyone was a complete stranger. Yet we were all behind the same team, shouting, cheering and singing at the top of our lungs. It would've been better if was louder and stronger but I was glad enough. I really felt the reality of the club's anthem and motto: You'll Never Walk Alone.

I managed to video the crowd singing the anthem.

Left the stadium still feeling surreal and wished it didn't have to end so fast. To say that I enjoyed the night was an understatement. After the game, we packed the LRT station again; it was nice to see that the spirit was still so strong and even small gestures like walking up the stairs, and entering the train in packs triggered Liverpool chants. I could only smile.

And once again, some sharp-eyed people pointed out an MU fan right across the train tracks and asked him to take it off; not sure what happened though. The train was jam packed but I didn't feel frustrated as one would on a normal day; it was no normal day. We reached Sentral after half an hour and Soni picked us up and dropped Stv at the airport.

Dinner at Murni, SS2.

YNWA.

training session

Liverpool flew in from China on Thursday morning and the training session was scheduled to be at 7p.m.

I went to college to meet up with some July juniors to go for the game. Kyle drove us there. There were 4 of us in the car; the other two being Caleb who doesn't support any club and Jun Hou who's an Mu fan. Lol.

We left college at 4plus and reached around 5. The stadium was already quite packed. There were approximately 38,000 people who came for the training session as reported by the papers. Malaysia was already training when we came.

The one and only shot I got of them.

Caleb, Suman and Jun Hou

A pic with Kyle instead of Caleb.

There were so many false alarms while we were waiting for the team to come. When people stood up, everyone else followed so it was kinda funny. Oh, and for those of you who've watched the video on the Mu fan being forced the take off his jersey by the Liv fans; we kinda saw it from afar. It was right across us; obviously we couldn't see what was going on but the people behind us were pointing and saying that there was an Mu fan wearing the jersey over there. We saw many lights flashing, people moving around and guessed something was going on. You can watch the video here.

We waited till 7 and thought the team will probably be late due to bad traffic. When the first few people from the Liverpool team (not the players) came on the pitch, everyone stood and cheered. It built up till the players themselves arrived at 7.30 and by then, the noise level was elevated. The training session seemed rather intense compared to how the national team trained. There came a point during the training where the crowd started doing a Mexican wave that went around for 7-8 rounds. It was hilarious but I found it quite annoying after awhile. C'mon, we're supposed to be cheering for them and not S-S (Syok Sendiri) right? But I remembered we were Malaysians after all.

Paul Rogers, the head of content for Liverpoolfc.tv said: "I’ve certainly never seen a Mexican wave amongst fans at a training session before but then again, I can’t ever remember seeing almost 38,000 fans at a training session before"..

HAHAHA.

The rest are pictures I took of the training and a short video as well.

It ended at 9; took us half an hour to get out of the station yet it was worthwhile. It was only a fraction of what we were about to experience on Saturday. Was really looking forward to the day then.

Next post: Matchday

kl trip

Just got back from KL today. Best trip ever. Probably cause it's due to the fact that the main reason for it was to watch Liverpool play. Scheduled my Visa interview to be around the same time so I don't have to make another trip.

Went down on Thursday and went for the training session with some college juniors. Had my Visa interview the next day and it went rather well. I felt it was quite fast cause I expected more questions. Thank God it's approved though. I was telling Him I'd take it as a sign not to go to the States should my visa be rejected.... Wherever You lead me Lord.

I had two hours to kill right after the interview so I went to KLCC and Canaanland at Menara TA which was just across. Good thing there was the latter or I would've been bored wandering around the former aimlessly. I love Christian bookshops. :).

Met up with Abel and Stv at Sentral later on and Aren came to fetch us. Thanks Aren :). Had Village Park Nasi Lemak which I daresay is one of the best in the country... After that we pretty much just chilled at my aunt's place.

Full post on the game coming up.

it's over

2 years have gone by, just like that. Now I can FINALLY say that College and A-Levels is done with. :)

It's been a whirlwind of a journey and I still can't believe how things have worked out. Through certain events, God led me to choose this path, one that was never in my mind... And I believe if not for His grace, I wouldn't be here. I don't think things could have got any better.

I've learnt a lot from the whole college experience, met great people, joined and was part of the awesome CF. I believe I grew and matured a lot through it all. (I certainly do hope.) I always had it in my mind that college isn't just a time to study and get good grades; it's so much more than that. Leaving a legacy behind; doesn't mean you have to change things around. If God could work through me to just touch one life, I believe it was more than worth it. It is His grace that has brought me through the rough patches and brought different people at different times to offer encouragement and insight. I believe He brought people along my way as well...

I know there were certainly times I could have been better as a person and I guess I probably said and inadvertently did things that hurt people.. To those people, whoever you may be, I am truly sorry. It's quite sad that I won't be going back to MCKL, the place I feel so at home in... I'll surely miss all my 0907 peeps, CF members and other friends..

Yet I believe there is a time for everything and right now its a transition period for me. I've 2 months left in this country before I step outside. I'm not going to think any further right now. It's all in His hands. :)

too busy to pray?

Ever been too busy to pray?

Found yourself rushing through devotions before exams; when there's a pile of homework waiting, you just mutter a short prayer, maybe read a chapter or two and sleep cause you're already tired?

Do everything else, leave the last of the time you have for Him, realized you're too tired and tell God; "I'm sorry Lord, but I'll be back tomorrow, I'm too tired right now - surely You understand?"

Surely He does. 

I've been guilty of this at some points of my life; maybe for the most part too. And I'm sure most of you fellow Christians know what I'm talking about. 

The question is; should we go about this?

We know the answer is no, but there's just so much to do, right? How does one ever find the time?

Just this past week, before the SAT exam, I was 'busy'.. Not exactly studying, maybe a little, I was just busy. I did my devotions but I rushed through them, leaving it for the last. I thought it'd be okay.

On Saturday night, as I was doing my devotion, I suddenly felt so far from Him - I felt as if I've lost the fellowship with Him. I felt sad to know that the more time I spent apart from Him, the bigger the gap was between us. I knew He was there, but I couldn't feel it. It scared me... And then I realized that our busyness and preoccupations can make us blind to our spiritual condition. We no longer realize that we are empty, we have no joy simply because we do not spend time fellowshipping with Him. 

No activity can replace our need to dwell in His presence, not even church activities. We cannot grow if there is no sacrifice on our part. And part of this sacrifice involves our time. 

We profess that we love Him week in and week out, yet never really giving Him the time He deserves? It's not that we have to be praying every moment. There isn't even a specific length of time or formula that makes up for our devotion. But simply being conscious of Him each and every moment. And finding our fulfillment, strength just being with Him and not just muttering a prayer or two. Not rushing through devotion so we can spend time doing anything else... For He looks at the heart. 

Any time we find ourselves too busy for Him - it's when we really need to stop and ask ourselves what we're doing... 

He created us, for His pleasure. He gave us all, He deserves our all. 

And to end the story, He reminded me once again, of His never ending grace; He will always take us back no matter what. Isn't it just beautiful?

James 4:8 - Come close to God and God will come close to You.

Lamentations 3: 22 - 25 - The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. 

 

scare

Turned 19 yesterday; more bout it later..

So last night, I skipped dinner cause I was too lazy to go out and I didn't want to cook so I just drank some oats. Had my last paper for trials this morning.. I decided to leave earlier so I can eat in McD before going to college and I was quite late already so I took the taxi to the LRT station instead; I usually go to the bus hub. Then I got on the LRT was listening to songs and leaning against the edge and suddenly I felt this pain in my stomach; I was praying for it to go away and the next thing I know, I was hearing distant voices. Then I realized I was actually on the floor and people helped me up to sit. It took me awhile before I regained full consciousness; I was still dizzy and all. The lady who was talking to me told me I fainted for a few seconds and asked me what happened. So I told her; she asked me to see a doctor in case its anything serious. I haven't fainted for a long time; this is the third time in my life; last time was when I was in Form 1.. 

Went to McD; ate 3/4 and couldn't finish; rushed to the loo cause I suddenly felt like throwing up. After that I felt much, much better... Paper was in half an hour from then. Thank God I was fine by then and managed to sit through it. 

I just really want to thank God for being there with me. I felt really sick and by His mercy and grace, He healed me. Marian said I was really pale when she saw me after my paper; thought I was going to pass out but I was alright by then.. I guess I'm alright now.. 

Thanks Marian for the 'honey' and following me to get my stuff.. Thanks to everyone else who were concerned... 

You are my Healer... 

p.s: will sleep early tonight though there are a 1001 things to do. the real work only begins after trials.. going back home tomorrow; yes again. :)

great

The week has been a great one to say the least. High Praise was on Friday; the events that led to it were uncalled for; problems arose and for a moment it seemed as if it wasn't going to go well; but God is so much greater than we know and at the end of the day, I learnt that when we give it all to Him, He blesses us tremendously. 

I have alot to say about it; how He came and touched me personally when I really needed His strength and comfort prior to the event. But this would suffice for now. 

I've also stepped down as V.P for CF, it's been a year serving in the CF committee, half a year as vp; it's been a humbling and great journey. I will also post the things in which I've learnt from serving... 

A few events during the week have particularly cheered me; which I will not mention. I have to say I am really surprised they took place after all... And I thank God for the wonderful opportunities; never would've imagined it... I am blessed indeed. 

I am happy; His joy fills me.. :)

Right now, I just wanna thank Him for everything. For showering me with love each and everyday.. 

Psalm 16:8 - I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.