I remember there was a time I didn't want college to end. Maybe even a few times. But that was because my July friends were still around; now there's only 15 of us Arts people left; without the Science peeps, we are almost non-existent in college dominated by the juniors.

Next week's the last week for classes and then exams are in mid June, for me at least. I honestly can't wait for it to be over. I've been here long enough and it's kinda tiring. Of course I will miss college and my friends. But it's time to move on.

I'm glad He led me here but there's always an end to everything. I'm not officially done with A-Levels and college yet so I'll save my goodbyes and stories for later.

And as people come and go, He has always stood by my side. I am blessed.

going away

After much prayer and discussion with my parents, I've decided to accept Colby-Sawyer's offer and will be going there at the end of August. I've deposited and officially am a CSC student Class of 2015. Making the decision wasn't easy. Although it was the only door that was clearly open for me, I was still apprehensive about deciding too quickly because I wanted to really make sure it was Him who opened the door. So how did I know He did? Well for one, I can't say that He showed a really obvious sign that says GO. But His leading in our lives aren't always clear-cut, we've got to seek Him and know where He's bringing us. Through the little things along the way and especially the fact that we're all at peace with it, I'm taking this leap of faith.

Why leap of faith you ask me?

The idea of going to a foreign country to further studies is intriguing. But at what expense? Leaving my family, friends and basically everything I know behind and going to a new place is kinda scary. But I'm not gripped by fear just yet, because I know He will go with me.
Also, the States are becoming a more godless nation and more and more people are turning away from God. Not to mention the lifestyle there is completely different with temptations lurking at every corner. I told Him before, that if He knew it would be too great for me to withstand, don't lead me there. Because if my faith is going to be shaken, I'd rather not go. I'd rather die before that ever happens. No joke. The thought of me being far away from Him scares me.

But then again, I was reminded;
Psalm 119:9 - How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.

He speaks.

My trust is in Him and not in my own strength. There are many uncertainties; questions about what if I don't maintain the required CGPA to keep my merit scholarship, funding and settling down, finding the right church etc. Whatever they may be, I choose not to allow it to bother me, but that they may lead me back to Him. It's all in His hands. If He led me to it, He will lead me through it. He's a faithful God, no doubt about that.

this love, his love

Just like Christmas, the yearly celebration of Easter has become so commercialized (though not as bad as Christmas since only Christians celebrate Easter unlike Christmas where everyone 'celebrates'.)

Only few actually reflect on its true meaning and think of the implications and act on it. I was close to being of the 'many'. It's really not hard, since we hear the message again and again. Who doesn't know it by heart? Jesus died on the Cross for our sins, He bore it all, that we might be reconciled to God, that we might have eternal life.

Stop there.

His death and resurrection has been described as the 'greatest event in all history of mankind'. Certainly it has.

Isaiah 53:4-5 - Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

My friend, do you know what it means?

Our minds would understand the fact that He died for us, for our sins.

What does that mean?

Today, I was reminded once again, and I haven't felt it for a very long time, what it meant for Him to die for me. For Him to take on my sin. And not just that, but to pay the price, and no longer have me condemned for it.

Because I have taken Him for granted time and again. And every time I drift away, even for just a moment, He waits for me with longing in His eyes and love in His heart and the moment I return to Him, He does not ask me 'Where have you been?'. Instead, He embraces me and say 'My daughter, I love you.'

He gave up EVERYTHING for me, how can I hold anything back?

When we realize how much we have wronged Him, we are in awe of His giving up of His life for us. His love for us.

It doesn't matter what you've done, whether or not you've been far away, whether or not you have ever known Him, whether or not you have rejected Him. He is there, waiting.

He loves you.

For me, that's all that matters.

I hope its the same for you too.

1 John 4:10 - This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

hungry yet?

I believe this will be my first food post, real food review. A friend complained that I always mentioned I ate something nice but NEVER mention where or what. (you know who you are, haha). So here I go. Pictures weren't taken by me.

Restoran Fai Kee @ Jalan Seenivasagam, Ipoh

The restaurant is famous for their Fish Head Noodles and Seafood Noodles.

I've only been there a few times, but the most recent visit there, just 3 days ago made me want to post this up. It's too good not to share.


Fish Head Meehoon with Evaporated Milk.

For those of you who have never eaten fish head noodles, I really don't know what to say.

Anyway, it comes with deep fried pieces of fish in soup. This shop has two types of fish; dory and garoupa. One thing good about this place is that the fish has a lot of meat unlike most stalls that give you mostly bones.

There are two choices of soup, one is the sourish, Teochew style soup base which you can also have with evaporated milk; the other is clear soup broth. However, I still prefer the one with milk.

There are also varieties of noodles to choose from; Yellow Mee, Meehoon, Kueytiao, Lou Shi Fun and the Thick Meehoon (my favourite) though it finishes fast.

This is AWESOME stuff, chicken + fish meat.. It tastes like fried fish cake but the texture is slightly different.

I haven't tried the Seafood Noodles myself but I reckon its pretty good.

Price wise, it's around RM5-6 per bowl depending on what you call. Not too cheap but definitely value for money. Enough said, it's a MUST TRY. If you're not from Ipoh, pay a visit and I'll bring you there. Haha.

crossroad

I'm at a rather crucial stage of my life where I have to make an important decision regarding the future. It's the first time I've ever been contemplating so much, more like waiting on God for His decision.

I'm now left with one option and I have till the 1st of May to decide. I got accepted into Colby-Sawyer College, in New Hampshire. Praise the Lord really. I applied for it separately from the other colleges cause it wasn't even my plan to do so. And it's currently the only open door for me, but it doesn't mean its the right one.

Yes I want to go but the question isn't about me. I was so set on Singapore last time but eventually, God led me to MCKL and I have no regrets. He knows better. I've talked to my parents and they're also praying; I told them to let me know what they feel the Lord is saying so I can decide as well.

Proverbs 16:9 - Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Although there are a lot of things I could worry about, I choose not to dwell on them. I believe that if its where He wants me to be, He will provide. I trust Him.

Lord, I surrender, all to You.

of dreams and plans

It's the #300th post. Not that the number bears any significance, but it seems alot, at least it is to me.

Anyway, as in my previous post, I've mentioned how I've been wait-listed and accepted, now I'm also rejected.

I applied to 9 colleges in the States, I know its a bit too much, but I was thinking more of more places, more chances of getting accepted, even if its only one.

I'm also applying to NTU in Sg. As of now, I'm really not sure where I'll be going. But it's not a question of where I want to go, but where He wants to. That was always the case. I knew that my dreams are pointless, if they're not aligned with the plans He has for me.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

It's not easy, to give up our desires and dreams, but if we will remember who this God is, it won't be such a struggle. A good God only wants the best for His people, a Father would only give the best. I trust Him.

About the place I got accepted to, I'm grateful that I got in, and thank God because the scholarship/aid they gave is pretty good though it would still be a bit costly to go there. My mum told me not to set my heart too hard on going there, because I'd be disappointed if it doesn't work out. She's right, and I'm continuing to keep myself in check. I don't want to make the wrong decision only to regret. Well, I'm still yet to hear from the rest of the places to make my decision just yet.

I'm still waiting on Him, and I know He will lead me as I seek Him. My indecisiveness on a major might be worrying for some, but I don't see a problem.

My purpose in life? My ambition? My dream?

To see His will be done in my life. It's not easy, to live what I say, but it's not impossible.

There's nothing greater than living a life set and ready to do His will..

Our obedience should not be a compulsion but out of our love for Him.

God bless you all. :)

It's gonna be an interesting week as the replies will start to come in from the places I applied to in the States. So far I've heard from two colleges, wait listed for one, and accepted in the other. Thank God really. Ultimately I know that it's all in His hands so I'm not worried. I don't want to follow my dreams, but to align it with what He has in store.