end of another month

Mei Xian, you inspired me to do this. Haha.

Before the month ends, I'd like to just review what's been going on for the past month.

1. Aunt left for NZ at the end of September. So I was kinda 'home alone' for alternate weeks and days. My mum came down for some days every two weeks. And as I mentioned before, my aunt's friend came on and off as well. Without them, I really could've just quit college and stay at home. The dogs created lots of problems. Don't wanna elaborate further. I don't like dogs anymore. LOL.

2. We started running Youth Alpha in college on Mondays. The weekend away's coming soon. Can't wait. =)

3. Had semester exams for the past week and there's still one more paper left.

4. Football. It was a depressing run of defeats. 4 defeats in a row that was redeemed by the win against MU just last Sunday. That really lifted my spirits. Although right now, it will all account to nothing if we fall back again.. =/

5. There were certain things that happened that really made me smile. But it came with a price. And now I'm not so sure if I can smile over those moments anymore. Yet the pain came with important lessons of faith and trust. And if all of it will bring me closer to Him, I'm more than willing.

6. Through all that happened; I realized that I've been blessed with such a great bunch of friends especially my college peeps. Seriously, I didn't expect to have made so many good friends in such a short time. You guys know who you are =).

Overall, it's been quite a pretty normal month. Though the experiences were the hardest I've been hit with so far this year; God has been faithful. And my heart will still sing.

Job 1:21 - the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

inexplicable

Watched The Phantom Of The Opera today; I know I'm very outdated; the show came out 5 years ago. Haha. I borrowed the disc from a friend last year and I just only watched it this afternoon. I guess the reason why it took me so long was partly cause I was lazy and also cause I thought it was gonna be boring. But it was far from that and I really like it now. I love musicals and so I found it really nice. =). And one of my dear friend's gonna pass me the soundtrack. Hah.

So I have only one paper left on Monday and as usual, I haven't studied for it. It's much harder to get myself to study when I come back home. Nvm, I'll read up tomorrow. I will.

I have many questions that I know will be left unanswered. There are many things we can't explain; even more we don't understand. Just when I thought it was fading, it had to happen. I used to wish it would but after last week; I'm not so sure anymore. Honestly I must admit I was happy for a while; but reality slammed itself in front of me. But I'm much braver now. And because of His mercy, I thank God that my papers were not affected. There's a reason why He allowed such things to happen; and indeed He carried me through it. And I know He will continue to bring me through.

learning to breathe

I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

Had Business Studies paper yesterday. It was tough. Kinda freaked out when I saw the first question itself, but after muttering a prayer He really did bring peace and it was all right. Didn't really have enough time. But anyway, what's done is done.

Two more papers tomorrow; Econs and Psychology. I have no idea why they have to put these two on the same day; thought it was just gonna be for trials but turns out UK has set it to be on the same day for the Jan A-Level exams too.

I realized that sleeping comes with studying. As most of you know, I don't study unless I really have to. So it's always burning the midnight oil. And yes I've said I wanted to change but its not something that can be easily done. I need motivation. Hah. Anyway, I realized that during the days when I actually get down to studying, I will end up sleeping more. So much for being hardworking!

Will be more relieved after tomorrow; there'll only be Lit on Monday; going back tomorrow evening. Can't wait. And oh, Liverpool's playing agaisnt Arsenal at 3.45 later (Carling Cup match); I really don't know if I should watch or not. I really, really want to, but I've got two papers tomorrow; not one. Someone tell me what to do. Maybe I'll just watch the second half. But then again, watching football sometimes can be unhealthy; you could get 'heart attacks'.

Anyhow, I'd better get off now. Till then. =)

I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall

lest we forget

I'm supposed to be studying but I want to post this first. So before I go (I really will), here're some pictures from the awesome match yesterday. Haha. =D. Trust me, it's not just us Red fans that are ecstatic; I can bet at least half the football world is

Proof that Manure fans really threw beach balls to the pitch. (How sick)

3rd and counting

It's the best thing that ever happened this week, maybe this month too. Or maybe in a few months. I've had quite a depressing week, thanks to this, I'm ecstatic. Liv beat ManUtd.. For the third time in a row; it's such a great feeling. The past 4 defeats were very depressing, yet I told some people that if we could just beat MU, it wouldn't be so bad anymore and true enough! And this is the 3rd time back to back that we've beat them. Let's see if any MU fans would still dare to say the match was a lucky win. Right back at you!

I planned to study after the match, but I guess I'm too happy to want to look at books right now. Let me enjoy first la. =D. It's a good thing my first paper's only on Tuesday. Hah.

Till then!

p.s: Was browsing through the Forums on the official site and found some completely hilarious remarks made by the fans. Haha. Too many cracked me up.
"Two Michaels on for Man U - Owen and Jackson." (It's understood by most people that Nani looks like one of the Jacksons.)
And someone else said playing against Manure is like a rugby league match. LOL!!
"see ya later vidic. hahahahahahah"

i don't know

Can someone just come and shoot me knock me on the head?

Maybe not literally but I need a good shaking; cause I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing and I don't know if I should continue to do what I'm doing.

I tell myself not to but I end up doing it. I tell myself not to go but I end up going. I tell myself to stop but I just carry on. And if you're wondering, I'm not doing anything wrong; it's just something that's gonna end up hurting more at the end of the day. Yet I still want to. And I can't understand why.

Anyway, college was alright today. Alpha at CF was pretty good today, also cause we had a special guest to speak; James' youth pastor I think. Amos, Eunice, Eng Hoe and me went for lunch at KFC in Sentral after CF before; been quite long since I ate there. Had a good time; Eunice was laughing at nearly every single thing; I used to be like that too but I kinda lost it somewhere along the way. Haha. And Amos kept annoying us by starting to say something but never really finishing it.

And as always, I haven't really studied though trials are next week. I'll start tonight, hopefully. With all the things that are taking place, it's really hard. I've got to stay focused. I have a cold now and it seems to be getting worse; hopefully it'll be gone soon.

Your love is enough.

my prayer

I felt slightly better today =). Even though it still hurts, I know I have all the comfort and support I could ever ask for. But through all that's happened, He's reminded me of a few things.

The fact that He allowed this to happen at this time proves that He has a purpose. There are things He wants to show me, lessons He wants to teach me; if I dwell in the hurt, His purpose would never be discovered.

It's so easy to just indulge in our miseries; to keep looking at the problem and ask God why such things are happening; if we continue, we might just give room to doubts and end up blaming God for allowing such pain. I'm not saying we must get rid of the hurts; we must not feel sad or anything; but it's all about how much you allow it to affect you and more importantly your faith.

Yes, our hurts might seem big, but He is Bigger. There's nothing too great for Him to handle, nothing too small to bring to Him.

Isaiah 40:28-31 - Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Lord, I won't ask You to take the pain away; but I will ask that You will be my strength; so that I can carry on and hold on to You. For only You can heal this broken heart, only You can satisfy. And for all my friends who are also hurting; I pray that You would touch them and in Your own way let them know that with You, everything else seems so small.. You are all we need.

p.s: The pain hasn't gone, I haven't recovered yet but one thing I know: He is faithful.