It's the #300th post. Not that the number bears any significance, but it seems alot, at least it is to me.
Anyway, as in my previous post, I've mentioned how I've been wait-listed and accepted, now I'm also rejected.
I applied to 9 colleges in the States, I know its a bit too much, but I was thinking more of more places, more chances of getting accepted, even if its only one.
I'm also applying to NTU in Sg. As of now, I'm really not sure where I'll be going. But it's not a question of where I want to go, but where He wants to. That was always the case. I knew that my dreams are pointless, if they're not aligned with the plans He has for me.
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9
It's not easy, to give up our desires and dreams, but if we will remember who this God is, it won't be such a struggle. A good God only wants the best for His people, a Father would only give the best. I trust Him.
About the place I got accepted to, I'm grateful that I got in, and thank God because the scholarship/aid they gave is pretty good though it would still be a bit costly to go there. My mum told me not to set my heart too hard on going there, because I'd be disappointed if it doesn't work out. She's right, and I'm continuing to keep myself in check. I don't want to make the wrong decision only to regret. Well, I'm still yet to hear from the rest of the places to make my decision just yet.
I'm still waiting on Him, and I know He will lead me as I seek Him. My indecisiveness on a major might be worrying for some, but I don't see a problem.
My purpose in life? My ambition? My dream?
To see His will be done in my life. It's not easy, to live what I say, but it's not impossible.
There's nothing greater than living a life set and ready to do His will..
Our obedience should not be a compulsion but out of our love for Him.
God bless you all. :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
It's gonna be an interesting week as the replies will start to come in from the places I applied to in the States. So far I've heard from two colleges, wait listed for one, and accepted in the other. Thank God really. Ultimately I know that it's all in His hands so I'm not worried. I don't want to follow my dreams, but to align it with what He has in store.
Friday, March 18, 2011
again and again
After going through the same thing over and over again, you would tend to be desensitized to it. But not if it comes in a different form.
I thank Him, for always being there for me in times of need. He is near, not only when I need Him but even when I'm far away.
For every time I lose my purpose, every time I lose my way, I look at the Cross and I remember Your sacrifice, it guides me once again.
Psalm 30:5 - Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
He made my heart light once again. :)
I thank Him, for always being there for me in times of need. He is near, not only when I need Him but even when I'm far away.
For every time I lose my purpose, every time I lose my way, I look at the Cross and I remember Your sacrifice, it guides me once again.
Psalm 30:5 - Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
He made my heart light once again. :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
letting go
I always sleep in the bus, most of the time. So I thought this morning would be no exception, given the fact that I only slept for 4 hours last night. Was too excited after the match.
As I was listening to certain worship songs, I began thinking about Surrender. The issue has always been one close to my heart, particularly because I find it something hard to do yet it is much required. I am usually able to surrender myself to Him, all but a small part of me. It's an ongoing decision, of letting go and allowing Him to take control. But it brings great joy. As I have seen.
But just as I was thinking of how important it was to surrender, He asked me, "What about you?" At that moment, I was speechless, not knowing what to say. I looked into my life, and it was so clear; that I was holding on to something dear to me, confused about what to do when the answer was pretty clear to begin with: Give it to Him.
He was telling me to trust Him. It may not work out the way I want to, but whatever it is, I have to give it up. Painfully, I told Him I would, I would trust. Because He's been so faithful, and I believe He knows best, He wants the best. "Lord, whatever may become of this. I'm letting it go."
Tears rolled down, because the struggle was immense. The test came hours later and I felt the temptation to take back all I said. But I know its a decision I will not regret.
I love Him more.
As I was listening to certain worship songs, I began thinking about Surrender. The issue has always been one close to my heart, particularly because I find it something hard to do yet it is much required. I am usually able to surrender myself to Him, all but a small part of me. It's an ongoing decision, of letting go and allowing Him to take control. But it brings great joy. As I have seen.
But just as I was thinking of how important it was to surrender, He asked me, "What about you?" At that moment, I was speechless, not knowing what to say. I looked into my life, and it was so clear; that I was holding on to something dear to me, confused about what to do when the answer was pretty clear to begin with: Give it to Him.
He was telling me to trust Him. It may not work out the way I want to, but whatever it is, I have to give it up. Painfully, I told Him I would, I would trust. Because He's been so faithful, and I believe He knows best, He wants the best. "Lord, whatever may become of this. I'm letting it go."
Tears rolled down, because the struggle was immense. The test came hours later and I felt the temptation to take back all I said. But I know its a decision I will not regret.
I love Him more.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
the war within
Isn't it ironic how I've much more free time on my hands right now yet I'm updating even less than I used to when my semester was packed and college was basically all I knew.
Anyway, I've been alright.
Been torn between what they tell me to do, what I should do and what is the right thing to do. It's really confusing sometimes.
I mean the reasoning makes sense, if you want something so badly, go for it, or you might lose it. But how can I lose something I never had? Probably lose something I could have had. Well, that's not for me to say.
I'm torn between a desire and a strong will to trust and not take things into my own hands. But how far is too far? What do I do?
The only thing I hear Him telling me is to TRUST.
That's exactly what I'll do..
Wait, does that mean I don't do anything at all, but sit and wait? Or do I try and trust at the same time.
These questions, never seem to leave.
But I know one thing, He is with me, He will guide me, He will lead me. And He will satisfy me.
Anyway, I've been alright.
Been torn between what they tell me to do, what I should do and what is the right thing to do. It's really confusing sometimes.
I mean the reasoning makes sense, if you want something so badly, go for it, or you might lose it. But how can I lose something I never had? Probably lose something I could have had. Well, that's not for me to say.
I'm torn between a desire and a strong will to trust and not take things into my own hands. But how far is too far? What do I do?
The only thing I hear Him telling me is to TRUST.
That's exactly what I'll do..
Wait, does that mean I don't do anything at all, but sit and wait? Or do I try and trust at the same time.
These questions, never seem to leave.
But I know one thing, He is with me, He will guide me, He will lead me. And He will satisfy me.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
love?
Two days late, but does it matter.. Valentine's Day. Did you know that over the years, the day has evolved to be what we have now? A day for lovers to celebrate and express love for each other.
There are various stories about the history of Valentine's Day and how it all began, you can always read it up online if you haven't. I'm not going to talk about this..
Everyone seeks love, and often in the wrong places. I think it's great that the Day is a good reminder of what true love is about, not what Hollywood portrays it to be but really, what He did for us.
There is no greater Lover, no greater love... John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
The question is, do we have this kind of love, for our family, our friends, strangers? Well He absolutely did. And if not for the love, the world would never know love. Indeed, most do not know it as they do not know Him.
Even if you know it, would you thank Him once again. For His undying love. And for those who do not know, open up your heart, to the Greatest Lover of all.
He satisfies.
There are various stories about the history of Valentine's Day and how it all began, you can always read it up online if you haven't. I'm not going to talk about this..
Everyone seeks love, and often in the wrong places. I think it's great that the Day is a good reminder of what true love is about, not what Hollywood portrays it to be but really, what He did for us.
There is no greater Lover, no greater love... John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
The question is, do we have this kind of love, for our family, our friends, strangers? Well He absolutely did. And if not for the love, the world would never know love. Indeed, most do not know it as they do not know Him.
Even if you know it, would you thank Him once again. For His undying love. And for those who do not know, open up your heart, to the Greatest Lover of all.
He satisfies.
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