of dreams and plans

It's the #300th post. Not that the number bears any significance, but it seems alot, at least it is to me.

Anyway, as in my previous post, I've mentioned how I've been wait-listed and accepted, now I'm also rejected.

I applied to 9 colleges in the States, I know its a bit too much, but I was thinking more of more places, more chances of getting accepted, even if its only one.

I'm also applying to NTU in Sg. As of now, I'm really not sure where I'll be going. But it's not a question of where I want to go, but where He wants to. That was always the case. I knew that my dreams are pointless, if they're not aligned with the plans He has for me.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

It's not easy, to give up our desires and dreams, but if we will remember who this God is, it won't be such a struggle. A good God only wants the best for His people, a Father would only give the best. I trust Him.

About the place I got accepted to, I'm grateful that I got in, and thank God because the scholarship/aid they gave is pretty good though it would still be a bit costly to go there. My mum told me not to set my heart too hard on going there, because I'd be disappointed if it doesn't work out. She's right, and I'm continuing to keep myself in check. I don't want to make the wrong decision only to regret. Well, I'm still yet to hear from the rest of the places to make my decision just yet.

I'm still waiting on Him, and I know He will lead me as I seek Him. My indecisiveness on a major might be worrying for some, but I don't see a problem.

My purpose in life? My ambition? My dream?

To see His will be done in my life. It's not easy, to live what I say, but it's not impossible.

There's nothing greater than living a life set and ready to do His will..

Our obedience should not be a compulsion but out of our love for Him.

God bless you all. :)

It's gonna be an interesting week as the replies will start to come in from the places I applied to in the States. So far I've heard from two colleges, wait listed for one, and accepted in the other. Thank God really. Ultimately I know that it's all in His hands so I'm not worried. I don't want to follow my dreams, but to align it with what He has in store.

again and again

After going through the same thing over and over again, you would tend to be desensitized to it. But not if it comes in a different form.

I thank Him, for always being there for me in times of need. He is near, not only when I need Him but even when I'm far away.

For every time I lose my purpose, every time I lose my way, I look at the Cross and I remember Your sacrifice, it guides me once again.

Psalm 30:5 - Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.

He made my heart light once again. :)

letting go

I always sleep in the bus, most of the time. So I thought this morning would be no exception, given the fact that I only slept for 4 hours last night. Was too excited after the match.

As I was listening to certain worship songs, I began thinking about Surrender. The issue has always been one close to my heart, particularly because I find it something hard to do yet it is much required. I am usually able to surrender myself to Him, all but a small part of me. It's an ongoing decision, of letting go and allowing Him to take control. But it brings great joy. As I have seen.

But just as I was thinking of how important it was to surrender, He asked me, "What about you?" At that moment, I was speechless, not knowing what to say. I looked into my life, and it was so clear; that I was holding on to something dear to me, confused about what to do when the answer was pretty clear to begin with: Give it to Him.

He was telling me to trust Him. It may not work out the way I want to, but whatever it is, I have to give it up. Painfully, I told Him I would, I would trust. Because He's been so faithful, and I believe He knows best, He wants the best. "Lord, whatever may become of this. I'm letting it go."

Tears rolled down, because the struggle was immense. The test came hours later and I felt the temptation to take back all I said. But I know its a decision I will not regret.

I love Him more.

How far would you go for those you love?

How much would you be willing to sacrifice?

How far, how far?

At the expense of sacrificing your own part, your own possible happiness, to alleviate any possible pain and endless suffering?

I'd like to know.

Cause right now, I can't tell. I don't know.