letting go

I always sleep in the bus, most of the time. So I thought this morning would be no exception, given the fact that I only slept for 4 hours last night. Was too excited after the match.

As I was listening to certain worship songs, I began thinking about Surrender. The issue has always been one close to my heart, particularly because I find it something hard to do yet it is much required. I am usually able to surrender myself to Him, all but a small part of me. It's an ongoing decision, of letting go and allowing Him to take control. But it brings great joy. As I have seen.

But just as I was thinking of how important it was to surrender, He asked me, "What about you?" At that moment, I was speechless, not knowing what to say. I looked into my life, and it was so clear; that I was holding on to something dear to me, confused about what to do when the answer was pretty clear to begin with: Give it to Him.

He was telling me to trust Him. It may not work out the way I want to, but whatever it is, I have to give it up. Painfully, I told Him I would, I would trust. Because He's been so faithful, and I believe He knows best, He wants the best. "Lord, whatever may become of this. I'm letting it go."

Tears rolled down, because the struggle was immense. The test came hours later and I felt the temptation to take back all I said. But I know its a decision I will not regret.

I love Him more.