amazing

It's amazing how You make the wrong things right.

As simple as it sounds, that's what He does...

And I was so bent that it was that way; yet You showed me You had other things in mind... How could You not be speaking?

Camp was good to say the least. Though I was initially feeling quite lazy to go up and down for it... And not knowing what to expect either. Being new in a strange place with only few people to call friends; those fears were wiped away few hours into camp. Instead, I came back with a whole new bunch of people I dare to call family. Girls who are like sisters; guys like brothers. It's really amazing how He brings people together... But most of all; rediscovering truths about my Father. :).

I've been busy after camp; still recovering from sickness. Practices, more practices... And alongside with that are essays I have not done. o_o. I've got 5 more days or so to settle everything and send in my applications.. The enormity of the task obviously hasn't sunk in yet - or I would be freaking out. Or is the peace just too overwhelming? I always feel I'm too extreme. 

I thank You for Your grace and Your strength that's been guiding me through; I haven't felt like giving up cause You were and are always sustaining me... 

Ecclesiastes 12:1 - Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor Him in your youth before you grow old and say "Life is not pleasant anymore."

Indeed... Walk on in faith. He's got such great things in mind for us; but He requires our trust. :)

break

Been working on my essays; tried to at least. Did get somewhere, not as much as I planned but still. 

5 supplements, 1 and a half done. 

I'm going back to KL tomorrow, joining a youth camp on Sunday to Wed. A much needed break; can't wait to see what He has for me, all He'll say to me, all He'll remind me. And other things too. For once in a long time, I have no responsibilities in camp; can finally enjoy as a normal camper. 

When I'm back, it's back to applications; have to go all out. 

But till then, I'm taking a break. 

And I just completed The Pursuit of God by Tozer today.. Parents bought it for me when they went to the States for Sam's graduation 2 years back.. I read halfway but stopped and just took it up again recently. Christian books aren't meant to be read like a novel; gotta really read and chew on it... It's a really good read. And I've learned a whole lot... Will perhaps blog about it when I have the time. 

God bless :)

This life, is all for You. 

too busy to pray?

Ever been too busy to pray?

Found yourself rushing through devotions before exams; when there's a pile of homework waiting, you just mutter a short prayer, maybe read a chapter or two and sleep cause you're already tired?

Do everything else, leave the last of the time you have for Him, realized you're too tired and tell God; "I'm sorry Lord, but I'll be back tomorrow, I'm too tired right now - surely You understand?"

Surely He does. 

I've been guilty of this at some points of my life; maybe for the most part too. And I'm sure most of you fellow Christians know what I'm talking about. 

The question is; should we go about this?

We know the answer is no, but there's just so much to do, right? How does one ever find the time?

Just this past week, before the SAT exam, I was 'busy'.. Not exactly studying, maybe a little, I was just busy. I did my devotions but I rushed through them, leaving it for the last. I thought it'd be okay.

On Saturday night, as I was doing my devotion, I suddenly felt so far from Him - I felt as if I've lost the fellowship with Him. I felt sad to know that the more time I spent apart from Him, the bigger the gap was between us. I knew He was there, but I couldn't feel it. It scared me... And then I realized that our busyness and preoccupations can make us blind to our spiritual condition. We no longer realize that we are empty, we have no joy simply because we do not spend time fellowshipping with Him. 

No activity can replace our need to dwell in His presence, not even church activities. We cannot grow if there is no sacrifice on our part. And part of this sacrifice involves our time. 

We profess that we love Him week in and week out, yet never really giving Him the time He deserves? It's not that we have to be praying every moment. There isn't even a specific length of time or formula that makes up for our devotion. But simply being conscious of Him each and every moment. And finding our fulfillment, strength just being with Him and not just muttering a prayer or two. Not rushing through devotion so we can spend time doing anything else... For He looks at the heart. 

Any time we find ourselves too busy for Him - it's when we really need to stop and ask ourselves what we're doing... 

He created us, for His pleasure. He gave us all, He deserves our all. 

And to end the story, He reminded me once again, of His never ending grace; He will always take us back no matter what. Isn't it just beautiful?

James 4:8 - Come close to God and God will come close to You.

Lamentations 3: 22 - 25 - The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. 

 

Took the SAT on Saturday. It was tough, as always. Obviously one can't really do much within a week. 

But it was a good experience nevertheless. I don't recall any exam that really had me rushing through every question with no spare time to check. And because every wrong multiple choice answer will deduct a quarter mark from your score, I left some blank; really couldn't shoot at all. The answers were too close. Haha

Now that it's over, I can finally start working on my application essay and college supplements. More work... I hope to send everything by the 23rd. Really have to rush now.

And Christmas is coming. :).

Will update more later. Till then!

frivolous

They say college applications will drive you mad to the point where you feel like pulling out all your hair.

I've got less than a month to complete everything and no I haven't reached that stage yet. 

Progress = 30% 

Frivolous' the word for me.

I'm taking the SAT on Saturday; already planned it some time ago, at least 2 months ago but look at how much time I have left now. Procrastination - I really have nothing to say. Only have myself to blame. But then again, no point regretting now. I'll try to make the most out of these few days left. 

When my mum's friend heard I was going to prepare for the SATs in a week; she was shocked; "Is that even possible? I thought it'd take months to be ready."

If I can break 2000, it'd be a miracle. There's only so much one can do, right.

Exams are in January but I have to set it aside for now; at least till applications are done with. 

And just a reminder; life is short, it really is.

It hurts to see the ones you love suffer. It often makes you question the One above... 

But I choose to believe; everything happens for a reason. I know it to be true.

I echo Job's words... "I know that You can do all things, & that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted"

For that reason, I am secure. :)

you won't know

You are gone before I had the chance to say it,

You are gone before I said its you I miss, 

You are gone before I got the chance and I know it's time to let go.

I really don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel either. 

It's kinda sad to see that things have become like this; just before you had to leave. 

We were always close, without a care, we were different. No matter what people said, we knew what we were. And I was happy while you were around. You were nothing more than a close friend.

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt

Then I don't know what happened; and I'm left wondering why. It's unfair to you, and it hurts me too. But we're still acting as if nothing's wrong; you don't even know that I know. And there's no way I can ever say I knew. 

I thought I could tell you what you mean to me, but things will just get more complicated and I can't risk that.

I have enough complications in my life. 

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

So this is where it ends. I'm really sorry. 

I have to let this go; let you go. 

I wish we could go back to those days... But that will never happen.

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's time. 

Goodbye. 

I'm back home. Today was the last day of the 3rd semester; it's been a good one. Compared to the previous two, it was just different. New lessons, new experiences, new friendships, new problems. Strengthening of ties, moments of realization - it all came. I'll blog more about this another time.

Lots of things to do now; besides the usual.

God bless!