once again

I'm at the same place once again, filled with emotions I dread, filled with thoughts I don't want to have, filled with feelings I want to relinquish. 

I can't believe that it's only now that I see, now that I realize... Is it what He's showing me? Or is it just what I perceive? 

For I know not why He allows this; perhaps He feels it will bring me closer to Him, the more I am weak, the more He can display strength. He certainly knows my weaknesses, for He challenges the very thing I promised by bringing in situations to test my word. 

God, how could You not be real? You know my heart well, you know me even more than I know myself... 

And as much as I'm afraid of being here once again, I hear a gentle whisper; a fading voice saying

"My child, trust in Me." 

Yes Lord, I will trust. 

There is nothing greater than being with You. Jesus, take over. 

he healeth me

Two days ago, I was just thinking and talking to Him and I realized that He's been more than faithful.

Numerous times I cried out to Him - telling Him that I feel so weak and powerless; that I feel broken and empty and that I'm not sure if I can go on... And like Paul; 

I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12: 8-10)

Psalm 30:2 - O Lord my God, I cried out to You and You healed me.

And when I looked back the other day, I realized how He's healed those wounds. Those things I couldn't let go, I have done so now, through His mercy and grace. It's happened so much faster than I expected. Perhaps He is preparing me for much harder times, I know it will be painful but I am ready... I want to be ready when the time comes...

There is nothing He cannot do. Those times you feel as if you can't go on, redirect your focus back to Him, look at the Cross.. He bore it for you; will he not then carry you through? 

I have found the greatest comfort of all, and no one can take it away from me.

This love I have found - completes me.

Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

the call

I've been busy.

CF Camp was from the 9th to 12th. Then WorshipGod conference at DUMC from 16th to 19th. But I'm not going for tomorrow's service cause I went for the evening one just now already. Finally will be able to rest tonight. Haven't caught up with sleep; no time after camp.

God has been so amazing and will always continue to be. Camp was so great, because He chose to dwell in our midst. Will post a full post on camp when I'm free. And as for WorshipGod, He spoke to me alot as well. Put the two together, I daresay He's spoken to me these 2 weekends more than past few months together..

I'm in awe of You...

And today, a commitment I made to Him some time ago has been reaffirmed. It's difficult and painful to know He wants me to keep it. But I know it's for a greater good and He has great plans... I trust Him. :)

Will post about my experiences and what I learnt. Till then!

off

Just finished camp stuff - going to pack now. It's 2AM. Hah.

CF Camp's tomorrow. It's gonna be in Barre I.J.Centre, went there 4 years ago for ISCF camp, that was the first.

May God's will be done, praying that this camp would truly be a breakthrough for many and that lives would be changed...

I am excited to see what He has in store...

Will blog after camp. Till then. :)

God, I'm in awe of You.

old habits die hard

Yes they do.

Was back in Ipoh for a week, came back here on Friday.

So what did I do for the whole week. Eat, sleep, online, camp stuff. That's all. College has a Qualifying Test on Tuesday and Wednesday; all subjects; it's merely a test you have to pass if you want to sit for the A-Level papers in January. 

Not really important I daresay.... I brought books back to Ipoh knowing I wouldn't touch them - I was right. And I still haven't touched them. I've decided to leave it for tomorrow.

Assignments not done yet, honestly this lazy bug is really hard to get rid of. They say you need to do something for 21 consecutive days and it becomes a habit. I've been like this ever since I entered school... 

No use complaining I guess. Just hoping to scrape through and pass the tests. What's the worse that could happen anyway? 

Camp's on Thursday :D.

And how can I forget to mention. I started watching Moonlight Resonance online two days ago. I really wanted to watch it on TV, but I come back late most of the time and the TV area's not really good here either. And there's like 40 episodes. 0_0. I'm only at 13... Hah.

Ok I really got to start on my assignments now!

Till then. Will post one after the tests.. So pointless! Never had it before. Thanks to a bunch of people. 

Oh well. I shan't complain. And God is great. :)