frivolous

They say college applications will drive you mad to the point where you feel like pulling out all your hair.

I've got less than a month to complete everything and no I haven't reached that stage yet. 

Progress = 30% 

Frivolous' the word for me.

I'm taking the SAT on Saturday; already planned it some time ago, at least 2 months ago but look at how much time I have left now. Procrastination - I really have nothing to say. Only have myself to blame. But then again, no point regretting now. I'll try to make the most out of these few days left. 

When my mum's friend heard I was going to prepare for the SATs in a week; she was shocked; "Is that even possible? I thought it'd take months to be ready."

If I can break 2000, it'd be a miracle. There's only so much one can do, right.

Exams are in January but I have to set it aside for now; at least till applications are done with. 

And just a reminder; life is short, it really is.

It hurts to see the ones you love suffer. It often makes you question the One above... 

But I choose to believe; everything happens for a reason. I know it to be true.

I echo Job's words... "I know that You can do all things, & that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted"

For that reason, I am secure. :)

you won't know

You are gone before I had the chance to say it,

You are gone before I said its you I miss, 

You are gone before I got the chance and I know it's time to let go.

I really don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel either. 

It's kinda sad to see that things have become like this; just before you had to leave. 

We were always close, without a care, we were different. No matter what people said, we knew what we were. And I was happy while you were around. You were nothing more than a close friend.

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt

Then I don't know what happened; and I'm left wondering why. It's unfair to you, and it hurts me too. But we're still acting as if nothing's wrong; you don't even know that I know. And there's no way I can ever say I knew. 

I thought I could tell you what you mean to me, but things will just get more complicated and I can't risk that.

I have enough complications in my life. 

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

So this is where it ends. I'm really sorry. 

I have to let this go; let you go. 

I wish we could go back to those days... But that will never happen.

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's time. 

Goodbye. 

I'm back home. Today was the last day of the 3rd semester; it's been a good one. Compared to the previous two, it was just different. New lessons, new experiences, new friendships, new problems. Strengthening of ties, moments of realization - it all came. I'll blog more about this another time.

Lots of things to do now; besides the usual.

God bless!

Coursework's been FINALLY handed in. Really such a relief.

Will be going back on Friday.

2 more days to spend with my July peeps (Science and few of the Arts people)

It's really sad just thinking about it.

But I always knew the time will come. We all do.

Gone

The song I wrote with Vicki; the lines in italic are the ones I wrote, just to distinguish. :)

Gone

I can’t believe how I just let you go

I didn’t know when it started to grow

These feelings left inside are hurting so

I always showed that you weren’t even close

Just when I realized what you mean to me

* You’ll be gone before I get the chance to say this

You’ll be gone long before I say it’s you I miss

You’ll be gone before I get the chance though I know it’s time to let go

To let go

It was a Friday when you came to me

Just like a dream that I couldn’t see

And then I think about the days where you

Would comfort me and let me be

And when I realized what you mean to me

There’s no point dancing my fingers on ivory anymore

Cause you are the life of my melody

So now the time has come for you to leave; before you go

There is just one thing you need to know… 

The song personally means alot to me, just felt like saying that...

gone - music video

I posted this on FB, but I'll put it here anyway. 

So college had a music video competition organized by the Sessions Club. We had to submit our video this past Monday and today was the event where we watched the videos and the winners were chosen etc.

I simply put my name in for fun not thinking about what to do. Winner would get prize money but that wasn't even in my mind; competition was too tough. Got Vicki in with me and we decided to do an original song since it bears more marks; she had a chorus so I took it and added the remaining parts; then we wrote the bridge as well. She came over my place during the weekend and we barely slept; editing the video and all. 

Anyway, it turns out pretty okay and by God's grace we came in 2nd place. Really unexpected; the other entries were good as well. Kenneth came in 1st; good for him. I owe it to my awesome batch mates who supported us all the way. Though our batch is the smallest; they came and cheered the most. 

And the song really means a lot to me; I shall not go on about it. 

Credits to Mei Xian and Isaac for being our actors and all the rest who came in as well. 

Thank God for everything.

And thank you.

the end

So there's exactly a week left; not counting the next two days for the Science people in college. At this moment, I feel grateful that I still have another semester to go; I'm definitely not ready to leave yet. 

But at the same time, with 3/4 of my friends leaving; college won't be the same. I'll save this for next time. I just want to say that it'll be hard to see them leave, especially those I'm close to.

We live in a world that is constantly moving fast; change comes; people come and go; some you will never meet again.

And He reminded me that when everything fades; when everyone leaves.

He remains...

How comforting...

He's enough for me.

the love that you've been looking for

I always loved this song and somehow I felt that even though the band who sang it (98 Degrees) weren't Christian the lyrics can speak about His love.

And I just found out that it was in the album for Music Inspired By Jesus the Epic Mini-Series; no wonder... It was about His love after all.

Do read on to be inspired and refreshed by the truth of His love..

Lonely, that's not how we're meant to be
But looking in your eyes I see
A heart that was abandoned
By a world that used to show you love 
You feel like you're the only one
Whose day begins without the sun
You're left to turn and face it all alone

Well, I know sometimes it seems as if
fate has done you wrong
But if you look inside your heart
you'll find the strength to carry on

You've got to leave it all behind you
Break through those lonely chains that bind you
'Cause love's not far away, it's gonna find your heart someday
And when you feel it's warmth surround you
You'll realize that love has found you
So turn away your fears
'Cause the love that you've been looking for is here

Suddenly, your broken heart begins to see
a love that lasts eternally
Just look ahead and never ever let a single tear drop from your eye
It breaks my heart to see you cry
The pain that haunts you every night
Because of all the emptiness inside

Well, I know sometimes it seems as if your heart is caving in
But if we look inside the soul we'll find the love we have within

I know sometimes when things go wrong
You search for strength carry on
But all we need to take control
Is the love within my soul
'Cause you know that love will find a way
To reach your heart again someday
You must believe it's true
Now all you have to do

late 19

Group picture at MidValley. (Some left earlier)

So my 19th was great to say the least. :)

Basically, we went there after the Science students finished their paper. Had lunch then went to play bowling though not everyone played. It was fun I guess. So halfway through, they started singing the birthday song and one of them brought a danish pastry that was supposed to be my cake.. I saw the trick before. Hah. Anyway, I accepted it gracefully, blew the miserable candle and ate the pastry. Then some time later the real thing came in. Guys, it's getting old.. But thanks nevertheless. I honestly didn't expect anything at all especially since exams were still on that day. 

Anyway, thanks to all who wished me. FB was really flooded with wall posts. Thanks all again! 

These 19 years have been a ride. Grateful for such wonderful parents; best gift ever.. Amazing brothers and awesome friends.

But more than anyone else, I want to thank You; for guiding me through all these years. I cannot remember a time without You; don't ever want that to come. Your faithfulness and love amazes me. I'm excited to walk on this journey with You... You're truly what life is all about.

Ipoh was great to say the least; eat, sleep, eat sleep... 

Back to normalcy once again. 3 weeks left till college ends for the semester. Science students are leaving though. :/

I still have a birthday post coming up... (more like a reminder to self)

I have alot of things to update but I barely have the time

It's gonna be a really busy month; probably the busiest? 

I got my Psychology paper today; the one I took after passing out; and by God's grace; there is no other reason; I fared pretty well. I really don't deserve it; wasn't really prepared but I'm just really amazed at what He does... Praise God anyway; all glory to Him.

Signed up for the SATs in Dec; less than a month left to the day; ALOT to work on. Taking IELTS on the 20th. Basically it's all about applications.

Need to finish coursework by Friday; the final draft... His strength shall sustain me, as always. 

I am comforted...

I think being busy isn't such a bad thing; it helps me keep my mind off things... 13/10.. That's where it started - again. Okay you're not supposed to get this.

God bless!! 

Will update more when I have the time. 

scare

Turned 19 yesterday; more bout it later..

So last night, I skipped dinner cause I was too lazy to go out and I didn't want to cook so I just drank some oats. Had my last paper for trials this morning.. I decided to leave earlier so I can eat in McD before going to college and I was quite late already so I took the taxi to the LRT station instead; I usually go to the bus hub. Then I got on the LRT was listening to songs and leaning against the edge and suddenly I felt this pain in my stomach; I was praying for it to go away and the next thing I know, I was hearing distant voices. Then I realized I was actually on the floor and people helped me up to sit. It took me awhile before I regained full consciousness; I was still dizzy and all. The lady who was talking to me told me I fainted for a few seconds and asked me what happened. So I told her; she asked me to see a doctor in case its anything serious. I haven't fainted for a long time; this is the third time in my life; last time was when I was in Form 1.. 

Went to McD; ate 3/4 and couldn't finish; rushed to the loo cause I suddenly felt like throwing up. After that I felt much, much better... Paper was in half an hour from then. Thank God I was fine by then and managed to sit through it. 

I just really want to thank God for being there with me. I felt really sick and by His mercy and grace, He healed me. Marian said I was really pale when she saw me after my paper; thought I was going to pass out but I was alright by then.. I guess I'm alright now.. 

Thanks Marian for the 'honey' and following me to get my stuff.. Thanks to everyone else who were concerned... 

You are my Healer... 

p.s: will sleep early tonight though there are a 1001 things to do. the real work only begins after trials.. going back home tomorrow; yes again. :)