predictable

I'm a failure joke. I knew it!! I couldn't keep it up. But wait, it's not exactly my fault. I'm referring to my previous post where I was so enthusiastic about keeping a productive daily routine. But I have my reasons...

Thursday, had a dinner with family at a seafood restaurant. Pics with bro. The food was really good! Did abit of reading when I got back. Not totally wasted I guess.

Friday.. I went to Pangkor in the morning. Had a relaxing and great time. Wasn't just a normal holiday, but we went cause it was my cousin's 'bersanding' ceremony today. His mum married a Malay so that explains it. Overall the trip was good and perhaps the highlights were the ceremony today and our 'tour' yesterday. So my family stayed in a resort that they booked for us. We went over to their resort, and spend some time there and since dinner wasn't till very late, we decided to go out on our how. In Pangkor, there're pink vans as taxis.. The bride's dad actually owns that resort, one of the budget ones, so they have their own van.. And our 'taxi' driver for the night was... my dad. Lol. It was interesting, all of us in the van going round the island looking for a place to eat and ended up at Daddy's Cafe which had very good food. Came back this evening.

I watched a movie on Star Movies last night on Astro in the resort, Wedding Daze.. It's such a dumb show. The plot is dumb, the actress's character is annoying. I can't think what I actually liked about it. I was bored.

Anyway, as much as I'm worried about how little time I have left and I'm far from ready... Just relying on His strength now. :)

I still remember.

productive

It's been a rather productive day, note "rather". I guess today I just realized that exams are really near; first two papers are on the 7th. Told myself I can actually sit down and study, even at home. So I tried, and thank God I was able to. Just some reading but I guess it's progress. Relying on His strength and grace for the whole period. I shall not fear, He is with me.

And in the evening, I did 1 and a half hours of WiiFit Plus. For those who don't know, it's an exercise programme for Wii; using the Balance Board; step on it and start exercising! It's pretty good, but I've been so lazy to do it so today I went full on.

I'm trying to make this my daily routine now, cut down leisure time and replace it with books and exercise. A seemingly impossible feat is now quite possible.

I find it funny though, cause I'm sure I'll be back here saying how I've failed to keep it up. Let's hope not.

My favourite artiste (Need I say who) is coming to Malaysia!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!! He was on Hitz.FM just now and they asked if he'll be coming here, he said he'd love to and most probably will, just not sure when. Really glad and I can't wait for it. Better start saving up. Lol.

And on another note, I'm amazed at how fast this has been. Feeling liberated.. And after so long, I'm going into another phase. And I know that it's all because of Him. He restores the broken; He's done it a countless of times with me. That truth is just beautiful to take in. :)

people get ready

I initially loathed Idol this year cause the quality was far from good; except for a few. But as I watched, I guess I didn't hate it so much and ended up having a few favourites. So now it's down to Lee and Crystal. Not surprised, most people expected it anyway. Finale's happening tonight in America and I hope Crystal wins, though I have a feeling Lee has a higher chance. She's really good, and different from any other female contestant on the show. I don't dislike Lee, but I don't fancy him cause I stubbornly feel that no one can come close to David Cook and in the rocker genre, only he stands out for me. IMO, there's not been anyone more original, really talented with performances that just blow you away. 

Speaking of which, here's one of Crystal's performances that left me with goosebumps. I was moved just watching it. A must watch. :)

I've never heard this song prior to Idol but now that I have, I think it's a really great song. It's gospel-influenced, not necessarily Christian but I think the message it brings leave us with a lot to think about.

Just my own interpretation of the song.. 

People get ready, there's a train a comin'
You don't need no baggage, you just get on board
All you need is faith to hear the diesels hummin'
Don't need no ticket, you just thank the Lord

I think too often, we overlook the importance of faith and try to do this and that, bringing our baggages along with us. Our baggage could be in the form our our burdens, loads and worries. All that we find hard to leave behind. But we need to realize that faith is what will bring us through and deeper in our relationship with Him. We need to leave the rest behind. And we should thank Him, for His mercy and grace, that has opened the door for us to live a new life. 

There ain't no room for the hopeless sinner
Who would hurt all mankind just to save his own
Have pity on those whose chances grow thinner
For there's no hiding place against the Kingdom's throne

I like this verse too; it's message is quite obvious. No one is excluded from the Kingdom of God. We can all identify with being a hopeless sinner, selfishly living for ourselves. Whether or not we realize it, all of us have been here (maybe we still are). And He, the perfect One, would accept us all; no one is excluded.

Simply amazing, His love.

People get ready, cause He is coming. It's never too late to know Him, it's never too late come back. There's a love, that surpasses all understanding. And it's already here. :)

of tv shows

To break out of the normal posts, here's a list of shows I used to watch. The main ones, at least.

1. Survivor. Watched this when I was 10 to 13. I really loved the series. I only had/have cable TV so ever since NTV7 aired this series, I tuned in every week. I started watching from the third season, Survivor: Africa (who's winner, Ethan, IMO is the most deserving) till the seventh season, Pearl Islands and a little bit of the eight which was special; All-Stars which had contestants from previous seasons. Survivor started getting boring ie; everything was the same so I stopped watching.

2. Sesame Street. My favourite children's programme. I still think it's the best though I don't watch it anymore... Hah. I owe learning my ABC's to the show.. And Ernie's Rubber Ducky song never leaves me. Along with Elmo's annoyingly cute voice. Those two are my favourite characters. 

3. Barney. The famous purple dinosaur. Wasn't my favourite but I grew up watching it.

4. The Donut Man.

Life without Jesus, is like a donut, like a donut.. - There's a hole in the middle of your heart. Love the song!

5. Many Cantonese dramas. I am not joking. I'm still surprised and abit disappointed that my command of the dialect is still poor; after watching countless of dramas, and I started at the age of 7. But at least I can speak a few lines? Lol. I clearly remember the first I watched was called.. "The Good Old Days".

I loved the drama. Can't really remember the plot, only vague parts. I had a string of favourites as well but I can't really recall right now. 

Now, to my All-time favourite TV Shows. Ones I wouldn't mind re-watching. From the bottom to the top...

6. Winter Sonata. For those who don't know, this was the first Korean drama to be aired on Cable TV (I think it came out in 2003) and since then, the Korean drama fever begun.. I still think this is one the best of its kind. I'm not really a K-drama addict; I've only watched round 10 dramas at most to date.. 

5. Boys Over Flowers - Korean Version. I'm not head over heels this drama. I don't go, "he's so hot" when I watch the show though there are not bad looking actors; some abit too gay but let's ignore that. But it's quite amusing to watch and the typical guy meet girl story takes a few turns and makes it interesting. 

4. American Idol. I know this should be in a whole different category because it's a reality series after all. I've watched since season 3 (2004) till now.. Barely watched Season 6 and 8, which had Jordin and Kris as winners respectively.. And as mentioned before, nothing beats Season 7; Davids and Jason.. Somehow, this show doesn't get boring and I still like it... But I think things will change once Simon's gone, maybe I'll move on to The X-Factor as well? Haha. 

3. Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas. I hear a "What??" Aka Timeless.

It's a show from the Philippines. Don't look down on it just because it's from there. It's one of the best dramas ever made; okay I guess I'm biased but seriously! It has a love triangle, not surprising. And the ending even had the producers coming up with a poll for which guy people wanted the girl to end up with. Cause they were so afraid there was gonna be a big upheaval if they don't give people what they want. The result? They made two different endings and aired different ones in different countries. Lol. I want to watch it again but there are 10 DVD box sets; really costly. Can't watch online cause no one's uploaded it and it can't even be downloaded. Sigh. I was literally in love with the show. Haha.

2. Fantaghiro aka The Cave of the Golden Rose. series.

It's an Italian movie made for TV that was produced in the year I was born. And it was aired rather frequently on TV2 when I was a kid. Probably when I was 7/8? There's up to 6 movies and I only have very vague memories of it. C'mon, it's so long ago... Two years ago, TV1 aired the first movie once but didn't show the last few minutes of the show; so potong stim! And it's nearly impossible to even get it on DVD. I managed to download the first movie though and I'm so happy. Hope I can get the others too. Who heard/watched the show before?? Tell me! :D

1. Glee.

I have to admit it's at first place cause it's the most recently watched on and is a series going on right now. Then again, the top 3 are probably levelled cause it's obviously too different to be compared. And all are just as nice. :). Back to why I'm a Glee-k. Well, I think the series creators are admirable cause it's a genius idea to come up with such a TV show after things like HSM... And it's definitely different. Also, the episode writers are really good cause most of the songs on the episodes goes well with the plot. The covers are amazingly nice too! And I love the characters.. Been re-watching previous episodes alot but once again, I'm not crazy about it. 

Till then. :)

home

Back home for a few weeks till my exams begin. So there's exactly 3 weeks left till my first paper. I'm the only one from my batch who's 1st paper starts the latest; I may even be the only one from all the intakes.. Cause of my unique subject combination. Hah. Anyway, my friends are initially envious when I tell them it only starts on the 7th but when I tell them I'm ending on the 30th, they'll be Oh... not so good then. I have no real holiday!!! 3rd semester's already starting on 1st July. Well, I guess I'll take these weeks as my break then but that's not a good thing cause I'll end up finding every excuse not to study....

Enough about that, it feels great to be home. And He's amazed me so much cause I guess I'm okay already? It hasn't gone yet, but I know it'll be alright. Praise God. :)

That's it for now.. God bless y'all. And all the best to all those sitting for exams. Be it mid-year.. or A-Levels.. I always believe and still do, that the secret to success comes from putting Him first. Cause without Him, we would be nothing. And success is not everything, wait, it's nothing in comparison to His greatness. These worldly pursuits, will fade in time. His never will.

ever faithful

Thank You Lord, for the opportunities You've given me

And being ever so faithful, and for all the wonderful plans You have in store for me. 

Honestly, things are still blurry, I still can't seem to see what's ahead and part of me's afraid...

But I am holding on to Him. I know I keep saying that, but that's what I'm doing - it's not something I do once and for all, but it's what I have to do everyday.

Anyway, today was the last day of college for this semester. Not really last for me cause I still have a few extra classes next week. But I'll be heading back home next Friday till my exams begin. 

Dear friends, I give you the liberty to scold and remind me to study and stop lazing around. Cause I have a bad feeling about what's gonna happen. I don't have enough motivation or willpower to study so I'll be needing lots of help!

Will be posting a post on Semester Two of college another time. Till then. :)

Your love will never fail. 

smile

There's a pain that sleeps inside, it sleeps with just one eye and awakens the moment that you leave.

Now I don't know what to be without you around.

Smile tho' your heart is aching, Smile even though it's breaking.. 

It's hard to force a smile when I'm aching inside, but I'll try... And I'll give myself a break, and come clean. It's time to be honest with myself. I need time.

I really thought I had more time; at least another 2 days but today he told me it was his last. I wasn't really prepared but what else can I do now?

I dreaded this day, cause it's not gonna be the same anymore. No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I know it won't. Memories are the only thing I have. At least I know no one can take them away..

I've learnt so much in the past 8 months. Again, lessons of love, trust and hope. That only God will never fail me, and I will find no fulfillment in any relationships beside the one I have with Him. I knew it all along, yet I often questioned.. Sometimes I felt as if it wasn't fair; well, life never is. 

Still, I thank God for everything. It's through these times, that character is formed; that faith is tested; that trust is at its highest level..

Sometimes, love is best when it's silent. It doesn't make it any lesser, it just proves you're capable of loving just the same. Even when they don't know it. 

But I honestly rather hurt than feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel so broken inside yet I feel numb and that's when I know that something's just not right and it scares me.

He has always been there for me, always held me. Always healed me. Lord, You would do it again.. I know You will.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD

I will wait..