home

Will be going for college CF camp tomorrow till Monday. Then I'll be back in Ipoh for a week. Man I miss home. Especially John. Haha.

He looks retarded. Right.

That's all for now. Gotta continue packing. Till then.

orientation camp

College had an orientation camp on the 7th-9th August 2009 at SUFES Campsite, Tapah.

A brief recap of camp:

Main Highlight of the 1st day: Night Jungle Trekking. It was supposed to be from 10-12 but it lasted all the way to 1.30 for some of the facilitators, my group, 'Juliet' and 'India'. By the time the last group got back at the campsite it was nearly 4am. According to one of my friends who works in SU, we were the first ever group to hike till so late or rather early in the morning. The whole experience was great though. There was a part we had to slide on our butts which I feel was really fun. Haha. Though it hurt but it was cool =D. And many encountered leeches as well. I was actually anticipating to get bitten - I'm not weird, just want to experience it. But leeches don't like me.

Main Highlight of the 2nd day - Stream Trotting. In the afternoon, we walked for round 20 minutes till we reached the path to the stream. It wasn't that new for me since I've done something like this before at Jeram Waterfalls few months back. Though this was definitely much more challenging, but it was really fun. =). We had Night games, sketch presentation and Tribal Court.

Main Highlight of the 3rd day - Nothing much. Prize-giving ceremony and then it was time to go home. It was ironic though: all groups were given 3 eggs on the first day to take care of and there was only one group out of ten that managed to keep all 3 safe till the last day. And guess what? The prize they got for that were....eggs. Apparently, those were special cause there were stuff written on it. LOL. It's a good thing all our eggs were gone by then.

We did the No Apologies seminar on the 1st night and 2nd morning. It was pretty good, though I'm already quite familiar with the things they spoke about, it was interesting. And most of us signed the abstinence cards. Haha.

Although I wasn't anticipating camp due to several things, I felt it was pretty good.

0907 girls

I don't wanna waste this shot. It's all I've got and will ever get. But still I'm grateful that He allowed such things.

And oh, I've just declared ' war' on some people whom I don't know. It's funny how it started. And it will be interesting to watch how it carries on. Haha. But 'bring it on'!!! -out-

confusion

I'm torn between making a decision
I don't really have to make.
I can't make it.
There's nothing left.
These hopes are hurting.
These thoughts are consuming.

It's confusing really.
To not know what's going on within you.
To not comprehend why you feel that way.
To not see that your hopes are false.

I didn't see it coming.
Maybe I should have.
I could have prepared myself for this.
But what's the point of saying this now.
When it's already too late.
When the thing you wished wouldn't happen
Happened before you could even think.

It's going too fast.
It has to slow down.
I wish it would stop.

I can't do it anymore.
I need You more than ever.
Only You can satisfy.
Only You will satisfy.

p.s: Is it really just in my head? But please, don't do this.... 

rumors

The week has been.... Interesting. There were eventful and not so eventful things that happened. That's life. Will speak of the highlights first.

Went to Pandan Indah with college mates during my 2 and a half hour break on Thursday. We had Pan Mee there. Yeong Han drove 6 of us there. So there were 7 in the car. Thankfully we didn't get stopped by the police or something. The Pan Mee was SOOOOO GOOD. It's quite different from normal Pan Mee cause of the ingredients and the gravy. I ordered a second bowl immediately after finishing the 1st. Portion wasn't that much. In conclusion, it beats everything else flat. I'm so going back there again. I told Yeong Han to bring me to more places with nice food too. Haha.

Not a very clear picture, but it's the best I've got.

A blur Eunice and Julius posing. Lol

Isaac, Elle, Myat and me. Eunice was hidden behind. Haha

It was Amos' birthday yesterday; we planned a surprise for him after CF which failed but he was happy and that's good enough. At least he wasn't so emo. Haha. They wanted to watch Orphan at Times Square. I went along not to watch but to get some toiletries. So Janice and me ended up walking and talking for round 2 hours. We had the Vanilla Oreo Frosty at Wendy's. 50% on Fridays, really worth it! Went for cell group at night. Someone from cell fetched me. It was nice to meet new people and it was time well spent. Icebreaker, snacks, worship, sharing and Wii pretty much summed up the night. Was nearly 11.30 when I got back home.

Met up with Rachel, Vincent, Shao and Aren today at Mid Valley. Went to college after that to help out in the topping up ceremony for the college's extension building that's still in progress. I volunteered to help without knowing what I had to do. Anyway, we were supposed to be ushering but I think we did more of carrying stuff and putting it back at their original places after the ceremony. I managed to do some arm muscle exercise carrying chairs, wooden stages and flowerpots. Not such a bad thing. Though it was abit tiring, I have no regrets. =)

And earlier I mentioned about the uneventful thing. Can't say much here. The only thing I can say is that there was a misunderstanding. Quite a big one. There were rumors too. Come to think of it, I have no idea how it came about. It seemed absurd and funny actually. And I was reminded that it's all part of life. Why should we be affected by what others say when we ourselves know that it isn't true. Most people are affected cause they're worried that others will think differently of them and things won't be the same. But then again, is it really that important? To gain approval of men. To have a good image in others' eyes. As much as it's important, it's not everything. Some strive just too hard. And that's unhealthy.

Anyway, I'm glad to have settled the matter. And even if people continue to believe what they hear, it's alright. He knows. =)

east to west

I'm trying so hard

I'm tired. I really am.

Found out something today; which got me thinking.

I shouldn't continue.

This has to stop.

To stop trying so hard

But how, tell me how?

Oh, of course it's harmless.

Of course it's nothing.

Of course it has little or no effect on me.

Just let You be who You are

And it's just like wishing to get a million bucks in a day.

Maybe that's why it's hurting.

This hope of mine.

Lord, who You are in me

I'm not going to do anything. I'll let Him take control. Cause I can't do it, not anymore.

With all that being said, I'm actually fine. =)

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

it happens

Got sick on Wednesday. Flu due to lack of sleep ever since orientation camp and the days after. Not H1N1 la so don't worry. Haha. Only had a bit of a sore throat and runny nose. Nothing much. Slept in college after class finished today. Right up till CF. I had quite a good 2 hour nap despite the fact that it was pretty noisy for awhile. But I still managed to sleep right through.

Friends were planning to watch G.I.Joe after CF today. Wasn't supposed to join them. Thought of going home to get more rest. Can't afford to get worse. So I was on my way to Sentral after CF and before I crossed the main road, my friends in the car were calling out for me to get in. Even though I really didn't want to go, I had to give them some face as well. Since they're such good friends who never stayed away from me despite me being sick. Haha. So we watched the movie. And it was pretty good I must say.

And even though I don't know what's going on,
Even though I don't understand why it's just so hard;
Even though every inch of me wants to give up so badly,
I know that You're holding me and You will never let go.

These things, I can't hold on to anymore.
I feel so messed up at times.
Why does it have to be so hard?
I may not know the answer.
But I won't give up.
I'd cling on.

something's wrong

I will leave the post about orientation camp for some other time.

Most of the people who went for camp seems to have fallen sick.

Yesterday, quite a number of people were absent from college. Some came and weren't feeling well and they went home after that.

Today, it got worse. At least half of those who went for camp weren't feeling well. Not just from my batch but from March as well. Those who seemed fine yesterday got sick too. Some came, vomited and went back. I realized something was wrong when I went for lunch with 7 other friends. Nearly all of them looked really worn out and were pretty quiet. They even asked me why I was so hyper when I was just being normal. And then I realized that most of them were sick.

Vomit + diarrhea + fever + stomach upset are the few of the similar symptoms my friends are going through. I'm seriously worried for them. And it seems that one by one people are catching it too. Currently, they're trying to find out the source. It might be food poisoning though it's abit weird since not everyone is sick. Praying hard that it's nothing serious. God bless all those who aren't feeling well.

clueless

Just a 'short' post for now.

Orientation camp was great.

Will blog about it in the next post.

I have no idea what's going on.

This just isn't me.

I'm not usually afraid, yet sometimes I am. For the dumbest reasons too.

I don't wanna think about it.

Why should I get upset over something I'm not even sure about?

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

I'm torn between a choice the choices I have to make.

It's not really affecting me.

But in time, it will. I'm sure it will.

It's gonna be okay. That's the only thing I know.

And that's because He's with me every step of the way.

I'll save you from these random thoughts now.

Goodnight.

p.s: Happy Birthday Abel; hope you had a great one. =). 16 already. Haha. Continue to stay strong in Him and shine as you always did. I'm so glad to see how much you've changed throughout the years and sometimes it it kind of hard to believe. But anyhow, it's really a great thing. Thanks for everything. You've been a real blessing.

Cousins in Red. I miss camp!

of camps and memories

College orientation camp is tomorrow. Right up till Sunday. We're doing the No Apologies seminar during camp. And I foresee many other cool and fun activities. Honestly, I was really anticipating this a few weeks back till I found out that ........... I'll leave the rest blank. Haha.

But anyhow, I'm not dreading it either. Maybe I'm just less excited for it. Camp is in SUFES campsite, Tapah. I was there last year and spent a good 7 days there. I pretty much remember the place and where everything is located. I will definitely bring an umbrella this time. I remember my dad saying I probably wouldn't be needing it much the last time and so I didn't bring any. And when I was there, it rained nearly every evening. Most of us had to wait for those who had umbrellas to bring us to where we were going, especially after bathing. One experience was bad enough. This time, I guess I'll be the one providing umbrella service. =D.

One of the things that I'm looking forward to for this camp besides knowing my friends better, knowing even more people and just having fun, is that just being in the same place again will bring back happy memories. So many things happened when I was there for a week, mostly happy. And it was because of those things, a sudden change happened. And since then, things were different. I'm really missing all my friends who are far away..

my group in ISC. (3 Malaysians, 1 Hongkie, 3 Koreans, 1 Jap and 1 Vietnamese)

butt shaking game. LOL

I'd buy you an ice-cream if you can spot me. (without enlarging) =P

Will blog about camp when I get back. And today's Business class was AWESOME. =). As Mr. John said "Learning should be fun and not boring." And so it was. Will blog bout it when I get back too. I have to start packing now. Till then =D.

house warming

A short picture post. Was in Ipoh for the weekend. Had church house warming meeting at home on Saturday night. Dinner, a simple icebreaker, sharing by Pastor and then it was time for desserts. =). Also to celebrate my two brothers birthdays!

Samuel and John. Btw, there's a gap of 19 years between them. Haha

Dad's famous Pulut Hitam.

voice of truth

Was listening to this song, Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns.

The lyrics are pretty long, so I'll just post up a few parts:

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth.

Whether we like it or not, there are a million voices in our head every time we want to make a decision or are about to do something. The question is: which voice do we listen to? If all other voices were so loud, could we then hear His voice? That is the voice of truth?

If you can't hear Him, don't fret. Cause He speaks through His Word and when the Word is deeply rooted in us, hearing Him doesn't become a problem anymore. Cause His Word is His Voice and His Voice is Truth.

Honestly, right now, I'm torn between something that I want to do yet I don't know how, or if I even should. Unfulfilled dreams, faint hopes are all I can see. But as I look beyond all these, I can only see Him holding me. And because of that, I'll hold on.

The question is; Where are we looking to? Who are we listening to? It's never too late. No, it's never too late.

stuck

Lessons have been going on as usual. I'm grateful that my assignments are still bearable and can be done. Pity those taking Accounts + Maths, seriously stressing out over piles of homework. Had two hours break today, pulled few friends along to go to the Pan Mee shop again. Haha.

Went with Shane, Kai Yen and Amanda. Only me and Kai Yen ate, while Shane left halfway. Kai Yen ordered normal dry pan mee and he asked for a small portion. I ordered a medium dry curry one. The portion is really big, and even small can be considered alot already. Kai Yen was struggling to finish and in the end he gave up. He kept saying I can really eat. It's either that, or he's just a small eater. I'd rather believe the latter though. Haha




And just now, my aunt let me try her dragonfruit enzyme. It tastes really good. If you have no idea what it is, it's basically dragonfruit kept for some time, and later she added some stuff inside. Sorry, I'm really bad at explaining.


This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy