some things don't change

I am sorry; I really am..

I know you won't see this, but I guess it makes me feel better to just let this out...

When I look back at the past; I still remember all the tears I cried; all the hard times we went through. All the pain I bore; all the weight I used to carry. You blamed me for carrying it alone; but I knew that with your help; the pain would be even harder to bear. And so I tried..

You never seemed to understand how much I care. You never did really thank me for the things I did. Sometimes I wonder if it was even worth it; giving so much yet never getting anything back. And when you spoke those words; I felt as if everything was just a lie. It all came to nothing.

You told me you needed time and soon enough we got over it. I got over the hurts; you got over your anger.. And things slowly began to fall back into place; nothing hindered us from being friends again. I simply loved the feeling; that I no longer needed to be afraid; I no longer needed to worry how things would be.

We never kept in contact much ever since things changed; but still I was grateful it was no longer strained. Maybe my feelings have changed; I realize you weren't the one I really wanted.. But if there's one thing that didn't change; it's how important you are to me. I cannot deny that you were one of my closest friends; one whom I really cared about and perhaps cared for me..

I still think of you sometimes. I still miss the times where we used to be so close. It won't be that difficult to get back to those times; but maybe our different lives are drifting us apart.. It's sad when I think of it sometimes..

I do love you; not in that sense; but I do care for you so much more than you know. Please remember that I'll always be here for you; no matter what happens. I can still be the friend you lean on; if you'd only let me; especially now when you need someone to be there.. But maybe things have changed too much.

I'm not too far away. :)