of issues and doubts

It feels weird somehow. Like everything's so blurry and I don't know where I'm heading to.

I don't want to succumb to the emotions I used to feel; to the normal preoccupations and assumptions I'm proned to make. If I want things to be different; if I don't want to end up repeating the same mistakes; if I don't want this to be another heartbreak, then I can't possibly walk the same path again. I don't know how not to; it's not easy.. But I know it's not impossible.

I realize too that the more we know; the more it confuses us sometimes. Everyone claims they know the truth; everyone says that the truth you believe in are all lies. What do you do then? It's scary sometimes to think that sometimes doubts still come in and I begin to question all I've ever believed in; all I've been living for. I don't doubt Him; never did. He's too real for me to deny. Yet some things are still so unclear... Debates about certain issues.. Denominations with different beliefs; different perceptions. That I come to a point where I question all I've known...

But if there's one thing that won't change is how I feel about Him. His love is too great. And even as I'm asking Him questions; I know I won't get all the answers... The question is do I trust Him enough? To know that He is the truth. And that's all that matters..

Lord, I need You to guide me to the right path... I don't know what to do about these emotions; these feelings. I just know that surrendering them all to You is the best thing I can do... After all; You deserve all of me.. I have nothing in this life that I can claim as my own; it's all Yours. My heart truly belongs to You.