it can't be

Had this for lunch today. Curry Pan Mee, that was recommended by my Business Studies Lecturer. Haha. 4 bucks a bowl and it's really nice! I'm so going back there again.

Got home from BBQ Nite an hour ago. The event was pretty decent. The heme was Mismatch. Pretty simple: Just wear anything that doesn't match; weird colors, different shoes/slippers, different earrings, weird stuff, formal top and shorts etc. Food, performances, awards, prize-giving, handover, dance floor pretty much sums up the night. We had our own band, called ourselves The Oriental which consisted of Eric, Justin, Vincent, Eng Hoe and me though Vincent didn't play at last... We never really thought of a name so when they asked, Justin suggested naming it K.C. which stands for Korea + China since it was a mix of both countries in the band. But, he ended up changing it to The Oriental. And there was this band that called themselves TLGHCH. When I first saw it on the board, I was like ??????. But earlier today, we found out it stands for: The Lead Guitarist Has Curly Hair. How creative. LOL. So we performed two songs during dinner. Went alright though I was quite nervous. After the night officially ended, there was the dance floor. So yeah, nearly everyone were dancing, or at least trying to in the basketball court. While people like me stood by the side to watch. Some of us just couldn't and didn't want to join so we took pleasure in watching. Hah.

Eng Hoe on the drums, Justin and me on the guitars and Eric singing for the first song.

Anyway, there were lots of food. More than enough actually. I mostly ate watermelons only, don't ask why. Haha. Really tired right now. So many people said I looked moody and emo today and kept asking me to cheer up. Thanks for noticing and caring guys, but I'm actually fine. It was just some thoughts that were going on through my head... Update more another time. =)

Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

hold on

I don't know why but it seems like these days, people close to me are on the verge of breaking down/giving up/losing hope.

I do admit that I haven't always been so cheerful. But I was always reminded that no matter what I go through, I'm never on my own. He's on my side and because of that, I'm holding on to Him.

It pains me to see my friends suffering in their own way. It scares me to think that faith could be shattered due to the problems and things that come our way. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I ever lose faith in Him and it's something I don't ever want to imagine cause right now, He's proven to be all I need.

If you ever feel like giving up (in whatever aspect), hold on. It's easy to say and extremely difficult to do.. But where else could we go to? Who else would readily welcome us with open arms whenever we feel like everything's falling apart... Could we find strength in ourselves to go on? Never... If only we could look beyond today and know that one day, it will all end. If only we could see how one day, everything will come to pass. And life with Him is the only thing that will ever count. The only thing that will ever matter in this life on earth... Cause we're not living for ourselves, but for Him and Him alone. And for that reason, we have to cling on to His promises. Should we ever doubt Him, we might as well die cause there would no longer be any reason to live.

James 1:2-4: My brothers, consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience (perseverance). But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

when i go down

When I go down
I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far
Cause You'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

Truly, He is more than enough.

Just a short update. Finally started Community Service today. Did 1 and a half hours for a start. Some of my friends have completed 10 hours already. Actually, if I wanted to, I would've done it by now.. But due to certain reasons, I'm only starting now. It's only due by Nov 30, so it's quite a long way to go.. Will be having another LONG day tomorrow. College is having 'BBQ Nite' then. Something funny happened today, at least it is for me. Can't mention it though. =D.

Smile always.

if only

I can't be
Losing sleep over this
No I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Another tiring day. I was feeling sleepy towards the end of Economics class. Somehow, Miss Thina, my Econs lecturer knew I was struggling to stay awake and she asked me bout it. So she asked all of us to stand up and do some exercise to keep us awake. Just last week, my Econs class rep really fell asleep and it took a while before he actually responded to her call. It was funny how she indirectly made fun of him. And she told him he could eat a sweet if he wants to, and he immediately took out a lolipop. Seriously. And today, he took out another one when he felt sleepy. He's now called the baby of the class. Hah.

Ironically, just yesterday in Business class, we were kinda sleepy too, and Mr. John, our lecturer, asked us to stand for awhile too. IELTS class was fun today. =). Some of us had no class before IELTS at 3.30, so we went to the Cendol stall nearby college. Not bad.

RM 1.40 per bowl (without red beans). Quite reasonable. Considering it's Brickfields

Haha. Eng Hoe finally finishing. =P

He says it's enough..

More pictures later on. Till then!

well...

Have lots to say, but I need to sleep soon. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are extra hectic compared to other days. This is the product of sleep deprivation:


Was really tired during Lit class this morning and though I managed to keep my eyes open, I was scribbling as my lecturer dictated the notes for us.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Samuel! (my first brother, the genius.)

Hope you had a great one, I think it's your first one here ever since you left home in 02.. Thanks for everything, you've been such an encouragement and have played such a big role in my life. If there's anyone to admire, it's definitely gotta be you. =)

eventful days

I actually posted something yesterday but I have no idea what happened to it. But anyway, these two days have been tiring, but it's all good. =)

Yesterday, I was out for around 15 hours. From 8 am right up to 11pm. Classes ended at 10. Went for breakfast, then wanted to do community service but no one wanted to go along, so I ended up helping to cut coupons from Games Carnival that was held today. After CF, I had an Econs replacement class since my lecturer couldn't make it the day before. At 3.30, I was supposed to go back, but help was needed for packaging stuff for Games Carnival. Nearly all of those who were supposed to help out went back, so me, Vincent, Wei Han, Isaac, Elle and Jun Yong ended up helping to pack those stuff. It was a pretty easy job, putting stuff into plastics, counting, packaging etc. And also carrying stuff up and down. By the time we finished everything, it was already close to 6. Elle and Jun Yong went back, so the rest of us went to Kenny Rogers at Sentral for dinner. I only had two muffins though; since my real dinner was gonna be with my aunt and her Japanese client.

Got home at 8plus and 15 minutes later, we went for dinner at a Jap restaurant which was the best in Malaysia, according to the Jap guy. It's called Jyu Raku. I wasn't really hungry to begin with and after yesterday's dinner, I need a break from extremely heavy meals. I wanted to take pics of the food, but I thought it was rude to do so... I will never forget the meal partly cause the first thing that came was a salad. And the Jap put some on my plate. How could I refuse and say I don't eat/like/fancy salad when he gave it to me? Had a hard time eating and was drowning everything down with green tea most of the time. Haha. Anyway, halfway during the meal, I thought we were done but more food came. He ordered this seafood gratin with cheese thing for me, and it was really good. 3 of us ate 7 things not including dessert and some of the stuff we ate were Wagyu beef, some special tofu, all kinds of seafood sushi (the size of the salmon was two times bigger than Sushi King's one.) and etc. The bill could have easily been RM400 just for the 3 of us. Food was good, but next time, I'll be sure to go with an empty stomach.

Today, I went to college again to help out for the Games Carnival. It's a games competition that involves secondary schools in the Klang Valley. Quite many people came to help out though there were only 5 people from my batch. Me, Vincent and Wei Han came without knowing what to do and I think we achieved in helping out quite alot today. Food packaging/Scoreboard/Award Ceremony/Picking Up Trash/Carrying Stuff you name it. Although it was a bit tiring, but I really felt a great sense of accomplishment just in helping out. Chilled out awhile later and then we went to Times Square. Shall leave out the rest of the details. Finally got back at 7. My aunt went to Fraser's Hill today so I'm pretty much home alone with her 7 dogs. Haha. I'm quite tired already. So till then. =)

p.s: He's faithful; always has been and always will be. Just knowing that, is all I need..

completely

It's only been a short period of time but I know I can't do it anymore. I just want to lay everything down at His feet. It's just so hard. To have false expectations, to harbor false hopes. I think it's time. Yeah, it's time. I don't know how to forget it, but I will try... I can't, but He can. For He is my source of strength.

Take my heart,
Take my soul,
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is within me lift up to you and say
I am Yours and Yours alone
Completely.

Lord, once again, please take it all away. It's too much to bear.. Whatever it is Lord, You understand most. And that itself is comforting enough. =)

thank you

Happy Birthday Jane!


I don't usually do any birthday dedications, so here's one for you. =)

I just realized we've never really taken a picture together, except for this that you edited.


Anyway, take this as your present for the time being. Haha.

I've always known you as my brother's friend's sister and it was the same for you. And yeah, you were also the 'behind door neighbour'. Haha. Our brothers used to communicate through their room windows. I really didn't know then that we would end up being close friends too.

I only got to know you much better last year through CF, camps and stuff like that. You were one of the closest friends I had who were younger than me.

I've seen you grow spiritually and I'm so glad that God has brought about such a big change in you. Don't let this faith die, but continue to hold on to Him no matter what happens.

Thanks for everything you've said and done. I remember the times where I used to call you and just pour out everything and it was the same for you. All the tears that were shed over the phone. Haha.. We've really grown and changed much don't you think. And I believe God had a purpose for allowing us to go through what we went through, that we would be able to help and comfort one another because of it. I really don't know what would have happened if I didn't have such a friend like you.. Especially last year when it happened, you were there for me.. Even though I couldn't say much, you still understood..

Though we might not talk as much as we used to, you're still one of my closest friends and I really appreciate our friendship. Look to God always... And I'll be here too if you need me. God bless you, sis in Christ. =)

one shot

I'm confused.
I don't know what's going on.
I can't understand why I feel like this.
Over thinking has always been one of greatest weaknesses.
To the point where the things I thought of became the problem itself.
But the thing is, it was all in my mind.

Somehow it feels like it's happening again.
Or at least, it will.
There's a thousand possibilities why you were silent.
But I can only think of one.

I can't take it how no matter how hard I try
I don't seem to be going anywhere.
No matter how hard I try to believe that there's hope,
It seems nearly impossible.

And then I wonder if it's the past
That's causing me to feel this way.
To feel that there's no hope; none at all.
There isn't much time left
And honestly, I'm not asking for much.
I just need this one shot.
That's all I'm asking for.

But then again, despite feeling this way;
Despite feeling tired of all that's going on;
Of all that I'm afraid of, of the hope I have;
That might never be fulfilled,
I can never be too disappointed
Cause ultimately, all I want is You.
What can this world offer,
When compared to the joy You bring?
Nothing in this world will last.
Only You..
And for that, I will rejoice. =)

Psalm 39:7 -But now Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You.

possibilities

It was the Inter-Cohort games again today. We played our third captain ball match; this time we were up against Ausmat, a bunch of cool people who had really good players. They were kinda unbeatable and are obviously going to be the overall winners but we still had to at least try.

Apparently, some of the other cohorts lost quite badly to them so we had a few girls who offered to help us try to beat them in our match. 6 to a team; 3 girls, 3 guys. Ausmat had at least 6 guys, so they had lots of fresh legs. We had only 4 guys. But anyway, I don't think that was the matter. Can't remember the final score, but we did push them to the very end and ended up trailing them by only one point. Not bad and much better than expected. It was cool. =)

One thing I've learnt today is that it's so important to keep calm and cool no matter what happens or comes your way. Even if the world falls apart, keep your stance and trust Him.

I thank God for the week. Few events have been quite memorable.

it wasn't much, but I'm still glad. =).

recap

A recap of what's been going on for the past few days: Pre-U meeting on Tuesday: Managed to skip introduction, again. None of us from Arts were called out that day due to shortage of time. Doesn't matter really.

I'm grateful that the subjects I'm taking doesn't have as much work as subjects like Maths, Physics, Accounts etc. Not counting calculations in Econs and B.Studies, I really can say goodbye to Maths for life. What a relief! =P. Lessons have been alright, and I still haven't started getting down to my books. True, it still might be abit early, but I guess I gotta kick this procrastination and lazy attitude out of me ASAP.

Anyway, today was quite eventful, and definitely tiring. After CF, 10 of us went to Mid Valley. Some sat in the car, but the rest of us literally squeezed ourselves into the KTM. It's even worse than taking the LRT when it's packed. No place to even turn around. Had Carl's Jr. for lunch. Probably the most expensive meal I've indulged in ever since I came here. 20 bucks. But it was worth it. And I helped some of the guys finish their fries too. Haha. Lots of funny things happened. Wanted to do some plan change in Maxis centre but couldn't so I didn't bother anymore. Pretty much just hanged around the place till 5 something. Then, 6 of us wanted to take the KTM back to Sentral but it was delayed for 30 minutes. So we ended up walking all the way to other end and ran out of the mall when we say the bus. It's a good thing I don't know anyone in KL, cause of certain dumb things a few of us did. =D. That's pretty much it for now. Last day of Inter-Cohort games tomorrow. Need to sleep soon. Few pictures I took today:

The 4 posers. LOL. They thought they looked sexy but.....

Gay people. LOL.

Done for now! Nights.

obvious

Today marked the very end of our orientation by the Student Council and beloved seniors. Haha. To tell the truth, it's kinda sad, at least for me. Surprisingly I enjoyed the 7am sessions where we did all sorts of things. It was fun, and good exercise too =p. Also, it means that I will not and can't...................... But it's not all bad, cause I can still do it. HAHA. You're not supposed to understand this too. Anyway, after our IELTS class today, we had to gather at the basketball court. First we played this Mummy game with toilet paper and water balloons involved. And after that, it was 'war'. Water balloons were thrown by the seniors. Pails of water, water hose etc. It's really funny to see how happy the seniors were in wetting people. HAHAHHA. Some even went upstairs to pour water from above, but they were obviously spotted! And something happened too.. Which I can't say here. Thankfully, only Eric saw. =D

Pre-U meeting tomorrow. Last week, some of the people from my intake already introduced themselves. The rest of us are supposed to do it tomorrow in front of like 300+ people. We have to say our name, status, and the most embarassing/funny thing that ever happened to us. And yeah, someone from the crowd will be picked to rate the person on a scale of 1-10, and they have to rate the chosen person too. I'll be brutally honest no matter what. Hah.

I'm quite sleepy already, but I gotta finish start and complete research on Thomas Edison for Business Studies. Suffice to say, I really do enjoy B.Studies. I could and should attribute part of my interest to the lecturer. He's from Ipoh too, and his teaching style is definitely NOT boring. Gotta run now. Till then. =)

blah

Thank God for the great week I've had. =).

I'm back in Ipoh for two days. Will be going back tomorrow night.. And yeah, I deleted the post before the previous one cause I felt I revealed too much about everything. So I guess my posts will be slightly more discreet from now on..

It was ragging week for the past 5 days. Although some found it to be somewhat torturing, I found it fun. A recap of what happened: We had different dress codes for each day. Some were ridiculous, some were pretty easy to follow. Some of us were forfeited when we obviously didn't follow. But it was all cool.

Morning exercise, games and other stuff were what we went through. And I've established another image for myself already, just because I did something that no one saw coming. Even if I forget it, people still remember me for that. What to do?? LOL.

Besides that, we were given a list of nicknames of our 'seniors'. Out of 60, we need to get 40 signed.. Deadline is on Tuesday but I handed mine in on Thursday, I was the first .WHEE. HAHA.. Oh, and having a thick skin really helps when you're in college. =P

I've got alot more to say, but I'll save it for another post. And I'll update more often. Hah. Nights!

I really wish it didn't happen, but now that it has, I can only hope... and pray.

it's time

Psalm 33:4: For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does.

He is so faithful. I can't express how His faithfulness has been my comfort and what pulled me through times I felt so low, so down, so forlorn. If only we could understand Him more, our problems would seem so small and insignificant..

Orientation was alright today. Today was more to briefings on other stuff like Community Service, clubs, IELTS etc. Finished around 12plus, but only left college at 2. Lunch at KL Sentral, McD... Sad case. Hah. Got to know more people better today though. =).

I've been thinking bout my subjects and stuff like that. Future university admissions, how I'm gonna fare... Honestly, I have to admit that I've been worrying, just a little... But it wasn't until I remembered that these aren't things that will last. Someday, it will all come to an end. What matters most is Him..

Even though I've just said that, I do realize how important it is for me to do my best as well.. This isn't SPM. I won't say SPM was easy, God was extremely merciful for granting me results I did not deserve at all. But I think I've been taking it for granted for too long. With all that I've been given, I need to use it, for His glory. I can't imagine myself being a studious person after being so lazy for the past years in school. But I'm not gonna let that stop me from starting now. I really need to study consistently when class commences, which is tomorrow.. Discipline. Really need it. After all, it is possible, cause all things are possible with Him. =)

I can't, but You can. In every situation, when You are in control, I know I won't fall apart. My trust is in You.