end and beginning

It's over, finally. 

But classes start tomorrow. Ah. Actually they started on Monday but I didn't go, apparently those still having exams are allowed to skip so yea. Seeing how my 2 week 'break' after most of my papers just went by like that, I crammed studying in 3 days. And ironically, one of the questions that came out was planning an experiment about revising methods; where space revision (consistent studying) and cramming (last minute) would produce better results. The question was worth 12 marks. LOL, seriously.

The thought of having exams didn't deter me from watching football. World Cup's once every 4 years, exams are twice every year... And I've no regrets though I could've done so much better. Well, there's always next year I guess. Hah.

I don't feel liberated knowing this sem's gonna be so much tougher. And definitely more demanding. But I guess I'm ready for whatever is to come. It's not like I have a choice.

I just moved in to the condo yesterday and I guess I'm glad. Only transport's a bit of a hassle, takes more time and stuff but I'm fine with it.

And 4/5 of my fav teams are in the quarter's.. How nice. But now Argentina has play Germany; ah, I don't want either to lose, they should both advance further... Watching the England Germany game was painful. As much as I was glad at least one would go through, watching how badly England lost wasn't a good sight. And so much for not wanting video technology in football, the consequences are great. Hope they decide to introduce it soon, at least EPL will benefit from it too.

And I will be strong, my strength is in You.

fall from grace

I'd been wanting to post this for quite some time now but I totally forgot about it till just now.

I hope I don't offend anyone here; it was never my intention so I'm sorry if anyone is.. 

I've realized how painful it is to watch someone you know change so much. Especially when they become someone you barely recognize. It could also be watching those who used to be so faithful in serving Him leave the faith and walk their own ways.

Sometimes I wonder how could it ever happen? How could one completely forget the One who gave Himself that there may be life. And even scarier, sometimes I ask myself; what if it happens to me.. What if one day, I find that I no longer need Him and prefer to take charge of my own life.. I cannot imagine a life without Him. I cannot and I am afraid that I will someday fall away. Yet I know He tells me not to be, cause He will always be by my side. 

There are surely many reasons why anyone would turn away. And no one has the right to judge anybody else. But I've figured one possible reason could be that one feels God is silent; that He is no longer 'real'. It may be caused by unanswered prayers or bad events that take place where we no longer feel He cares. It starts off with being angry with God and if left like that, things would surely start to fall apart; and faith that once was will soon come to nothing.

Being humans, we all like to feel, we need empirical evidence. One reason why many people cannot believe Him is because they cannot see thus they don't think He exists. But how many things on earth do we know and believe and yet have seen? Science claims to give us the answers. We can accept all the science facts so easily even though we ourselves have not seen or experience it; yet when it comes to God, we often doubt. 

Many things I do not know and I know I never will come to full knowledge. Yet what He's done for me cannot be denied and these are the very truths I hold on to every single time I feel He is not there. Feelings fool you; they are mere FEELINGS. But one must remember that faith comes from believing and not seeing. 

I wish they could see; that He never changes. He remains faithful even though we do not realize. If ever you find yourself so close to giving up, recall the day you gave your life to Him; recall the times where He guided you, touched you. If there are none, there is no reason to give up but to persevere and He is faithful to those who call upon Him. He knows what you need, and if it is a touch, He will do it. God is not silent; it's we who don't listen. And even if at times He does not speak; what position do we have to question and be mad at Him? Mere mortals; that's what we are... This life has no meaning apart from Him. 

2 Corinthians 4:17 - For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Jesus loves you.

oh no

Including today, there's exactly 6 days left to my exam... How did time pass so fast? I have barely revised.. I'm in big trouble; I hope not.

How ironic is it.. I had 20 days to revise for ONE paper compared to the whole month for 4 papers; but it seems like I had more time then than now. Not that I did much previously anyway so it just proves how much I've not done at all. Don't wanna panic though, there's no point.

It's today where everything is about to change. Gah.

Anyway, it's been exhilarating to watch World Cup yet it's been absolutely heart-pounding. And so 4/5 of my fav teams are true. :D. It's all down to Spain now. Shouldn't be a problem, but in football anything can happen as you may well know. 

And I'm quite depressed that England is gonna meet Germany next, been supporting the former since I was young, it comes together with being an avid EPL follower and Liverpudlian and as for Germany, I think it was 2002 when it all began.. They're a really good team and deserve to win though they've been unlucky. I wouldn't mind whoever wins but watching the other lose will be painful. It would be fine to watch the match if it had been semi's or something.. But it's too soon.. 

And my misery doesn't end there. Looking at the match-fixtures, Argentina is playing Mexico and the winners will play Eng/Ger in the quarters and assuming Argentina wins, it'll be another kick out of my favourites. Why oh why? It's not fair, the other match has Uruguay, South Korea and USA, Ghana, and a semi-finalist is gonna emerge from there..... Sad, sad, sad.

I think I'd stop here before the reality of the situation really strikes me. Thanks to football, I've no time to think about personal issues (not that I've many) but it's been such a great relief... Though I'm adding World Cup woes to one my own...

 Till then.

half insomniac, if there's such a thing

I think the irregular sleeping patterns since World Cup started has had its effect. Prior to this; though my sleeping hours weren't exactly fixed everyday, I can still sleep anytime I want to without much problems except if I have caffeine or some other reasons. 

It's getting harder to fall asleep at times now. But I won't complain. I bet many people are having these problems too; probably even worse. Today at church, pastor was telling us some news about extreme World Cup fanatics in China. Can't exactly remember the details but I recall a lady giving her husband ground rules of what he can and cannot do during the W. Cup season. Then there was a girl who was close to committing suicide but was stopped by the police and the reason? You probably guessed right; felt neglected by her boyfriend who was obviously glued to the TV. Then another wife slit her wrists due to being 'football widowed'. Where's the sanity in that? 

I don't wanna end up with a guy who doesn't watch or like football (EPL especially). Can you imagine how wrong and weird it would be if he went out with his friends and they ask where I am; and he answers "Oh, she's watching football at home." Imagine the look onhis friends faces and the teasing they'll do. Lol. I'm serious though.

Exactly 10 days more to my last paper; I've read 5 pages so far. Such good progress don't you think. Considering the fact that the World Cup is on and my emotions have been somewhat affected. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything rash whatever happens. I know I should be studying but its much harder to get myself to do it. At least my 4 papers were done before W.Cup started or it could've been so much worse. 

I'm gonna try to balance books, football and meeting up with friends this week before I head back to KL and once I do, no more fooling around for me. And I've finally received the package after ordering it in March, love the stuff; as good as it looked on the net. Thanks Stv and Rachel too. :)

I'll sing, because the world can't take away, Your love. 

world cup so far

World Cup has been a nightmare for me. With the exception of Argentina and Holland who have secured a place in the next round by clinching 2 group stage victories so far; the rest have been a pain to watch.

England; the horrible mistake by Green led to a draw with the U.S; and this morning, they were held to a stalemate with Algeria.. ALGERIA. But Algeria was actually pretty good, England was not up to par or the goals would have easily come in. The next match is do or die. 

Spain; was thinking Switzerland wouldn't pose much of a challenge. That was probably what everyone thought and the underdogs won instead. Don't know how it happen but it was really disappointing. At least it's only the first game. They've got to buck up.

Germany; was ecstatic seeing how they thrashed and outclassed Australia; a game I could watch over and over again. So who would've known that Serbia would turn the tables around and beat the Germans. But the referee is partly to blame, giving out so many yellows, a high 9 and sending Klose off; so unfair. Again, it's do or die too. 

Don't you see how football involves emotions? I wish I could watch it without being so caught up but it's not something that can be helped. I'm even going as far to say that if all three countries, Germany, England and Spain don't make it through to the next round, it's goodbye World Cup-s for me. What's the point? I don't like seeing underdogs get through, I just don't. It's like EPL not topped by the Top 4 anymore; you say its more fun, I say its not right. It's not the way it should be.

Still, I'm not losing hope. May all 3 get through; I'd be overjoyed.

it doesn't change

A friend just dropped the bomb.. So I just found out that Benayoun's leaving Liverpool. Fair enough. As much as he's good to stay, I guess his decision should be respected. But going to Chelsea definitely's gonna cause him to sit on the bench more, I'm sure of that.

Then I was told Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres were leaving too, each to different big clubs.

I couldn't believe it. I went to look up online news of them REALLY leaving and thankfully none confirmed it to be true. I remember Torres saying he'll only decide after World Cup. Gerrard has been disappointed with the season, who wasn't? But it seems Real Madrid's not going to bid for him anymore. Let's hope it's true. As for Mascherano, it's still unknown.

I'll be really upset if any of them leaves. I just wish they'd give one more, at least just one more season. With Rafa out, it could either be worse or better off for the club. No one knows yet. But one thing's for sure; all of them can leave and it won't change a thing about how I feel. Sure, quality will drop tremendously and the future of the club will be even bleaker than it already is. But I won't be moved. 

YNWA. You stick to your club through thick and thin, no matter how good or bad. Let people say what they want, it doesn't change anything.

"Form is temporary but class is permanent."

At least there's the World Cup going on to forget club woes right now. :)

eating spree

I'm on an eating spree. At least that's what it seems like.

Grandparents and relatives from mom's side came down to Ipoh on Sunday to celebrate my grandma's 80th birthday. Usually we all go to T.Intan, since that's where most of them are but decided to have a change this time around. 

Dinner was at Menglembu East Ocean. After many pictureless posts, here goes. I shall make you drool.. Lol. Pictures taken by my cousin, was too absorbed with the food to bother.

"Fatt Tsoi" soup. Whatever it stands for, it was full of good stuff. 

Cold dish/4 seasons. The presentation was great

Fried Cod Fish

Roast Lamb with "Man Tou"

"Ha Lok" style Prawns

Vegetable with Yam.. I actually liked it alot. Hah.

Wan Tan Noodles..

Some "Tong Sui".. I think it was Sweet Potato based.

Chintoi

Other pics

The flowers we got for grandma

8/15 grandchildren.

I was glad and I think nearly everyone was too. Good food and good company makes a worthy dinner. 

T.Intan seafood restaurants are better in terms of freshness and price.. That being said, I was in T.I for the past few days. Went down with Mum and John on Sun afternoon and came back today. Been eating prawns for the past 3 days. And I downed around 500g of crabs two days ago. I can imagine what I'd be if I'd been living there all my life. Hah. Still, I'm thankful for being so blessed. 

Picture of the day.. 

John and Isabelle

Till then!

on and on

Psychology 2 was yesterday; it was not a very hard paper though there were tricky questions but who knows how they'll award marks.. It was madness, they asked to draw and Anomaly (outlier) and it's not even in the syllabus... I'm not a Maths student, had no idea what that was... 

Well, at least there's only 1 more paper to go on the 30th this month. Back in Ipoh for two weeks now... 

When dad asked me how's exams; I said I've no comment. He was afraid that I passed up blank papers or something but I said it wasn't that I couldn't do at all but the outcome is just something I can't foresee. SPM or even high school exams (only in Malaysia), you do a paper and you know if you're done for or not. Cause you either remember the facts or you don't. A-Levels? No way. Maybe Science papers are predictable but definitely not Arts. 

You remember the whole textbook, you can still fail. You write till your arms ache leaving no empty spaces, you can still fail. You think you answered correctly, the results may prove you wrong. Some subjects are less scary but still. What exactly do they want then? Who knows... So, depend on His strength, do your best and leave the rest to Him. What else is there to do?

Enough about exams. I'm not gonna have any To-Do lists during the break anymore, I always fail keeping it. But if there's anything I really need to do, I need to read... Got to finish Captain Correlli's Mandolin and Tess of the D'Urbervilles by next sem; it's what we're doing for Unit 3. And find out what topic and books I want to do for coursework. The problem is when they say you can do 'anything'. I guess sometimes, restrictions are good. You don't need to think so much about what to do.

You're my peace, my comfort. 

journey

My eyes are wet from crying. 

I just watched the season finale of Glee; Journey. And it was very emotional. A good way to end the season though.

There were so many moments I loved about the episode. 

The title itself is really appropriate. New Directions' numbers were all from Journey and the episode taught about journeys too.

I like how they started the show with "Don't Stop Believing" and closed it with the song as well. 

Vocal Adrenaline's Bohemian Rhapsody was juxtaposed with Quinn's delivery. Couldn't be better.

And Sue Sylvester is her usual self; trying to bring down the club but you'll be surprised to know what she does in the end. 

I wished there were more Rachel and Finn moments, but those that were there were sweet to say the least. :)

To Sir With Love being sung after all that happened just added more meaning and emotion.

Faithfully was awesome. 



Everything else was too. 

To sum up, the best thing I learned from the episode was that life is a journey. To put it my own words; we're always so worried about what happens when we get there and that seems to be our only concern; but what's more important is the getting there. To make the most out of what we have, to go on the 'ride of our lives'. 

Now, the long wait till September... 

What am I even doing here; I have a paper tomorrow...

To quote Aaron Yee; "I think Glee's the reason I might do badly in my exams." Hope not. :P

-out-

3...

World Cup's in 3 days... 3!!!!!!!!!!! 

My first World Cup was 1998; so I guess it was when I was 7 that I officially started watching football and later became an avid fan of it. 

Rooting for Spain, England, Germany, Holland and Argentina. Why so many you ask? Cause the more you support, the higher the chances are one will win. 

I remember supporting Spain, Germany and Holland (poor England didn't even qualify) for Euro 2008 and the first two teams ended up in the final; I didn't really mind who would win..

And I promise I won't break any more things this World Cup. I'll make sure of it. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, never mind. :D

exam scare

Exams finally begun yesterday, after a pretty long wait. Not that I was eager cause I was prepared, wasn't very; but I just wanted to to start so it can end.. But by the time it does, it's sem 3 already. Gasp...

Anyway, Religious Studies was more or less predicted and it left me wondering how I'll fare; cause I'm not sure how they'll mark it; it could be extreme... And as for Economics, I have to say I underestimated the paper cause the questions were tricky and time was another factor.

Today, I had English Literature, again. Retook the unit. Unseen part was so-so, Prose was not bad, cause the question that came out was what we did for trials last year but the worst was yet to come. Honestly, the moment I saw the two questions for Poetry, I was scared. I wasn't prepared for either one. Really unexpected. So I prayed and He, always so faithful, was by my side, giving me peace that I would not give up.... I just tried to write whatever I could..

This was one of the rare times where I feel somewhat depressed after doing a paper; can't recall how long it's been... But after awhile, I snapped out of it and felt like slapping myself....

What is THIS???? One day, I'll look back and see how futile this is; see that it's not gonna mean anything much in years to come.. And I guess if I've tried my best, even if I didn't, there's just no point fretting or regretting... Leaving it all to Him. The rest of the papers too. 2 more Psychology Units. 

He is ever faithful. 

trust in you

"Why is it that the nearer it is to exams, I get

lazier and lazier to do what I should be doing,

more unmotivated to even pick up a book

less worried about the consequences of my laziness

less fearful about the outcome

The thing is, I know what I should be doing, but I'm not doing it. After this weekend, I have to REALLY get down to it. Or else, it's OVER. Not really. LOL. But somewhat close. GAHHH."

The above was a post I wrote back in 2008 in my Xanga
Previous blog for those who don't know.. Wrote it 2 weeks before SPM cause that was exactly how I felt...

Looks like I'm feeling the same again. Except for the fact that now, the weekend is here. Nervous much? I don't know. I'm not prepared. But what can I do now. I've said it before and I'll say it again. His grace is all I rely on. His strength, His mercy. Only He can help me now. I guess there's nothing much else I can do except give my best shot.

I've learned that worry is a sign of lack of trust. Cause if you fully trust someone, there should be no doubt, no fear. No matter what the circumstance, He is bigger. That truth alone should guide us through to battle our worries and replace it with His peace that is already there for us to claim. 

What is this in the light of You?

And I know I can trust You at all times. Cause the one who is higher stands by my side. :)

glee numbers

One of the reasons I love Glee is due to their awesome songs (covers, rather). I've barely heard most of the songs they cover and some are effectively stuck in my mind. Some songs that originally sound old and stuff are given a fresh vibe.

Firstly, for those who haven't heard of Glee, you've been living under a rock. And for those who haven't watched it, let me just clear a misconception you might have. It is NOT like HSM, not at all. The songs come in naturally; eg. Glee club assignments, characters practicing songs that express how they feel. And even if you might hate the show, it's hard to hate the songs..

I've decided to come up with a list of my top 11 favourite Glee numbers. Why 11 and not 10 you ask; it's too close to call. The show's finale is to be aired next week, and to date there's got to be at least 70plus songs to choose from. This is tough. The words in brackets are the episodes the songs are in, for those Gleeks out there who want to watch it again. I thought of putting links to the song, but I guess you can just do that if you're interested to listen.

11. Lean On Me (Ballad)

10. Don't Rain On My Parade (Sectionals)

9. Defying Gravity (Wheels)

8. Smile [Charlie Chaplin version] (Mattress)

7. I Dreamed A Dream (Dream On)

6. You Can't Always Get What You Want (Sectionals)

5. Run Joey Run (Bad Reputation)

4. Hello Goodbye (Hell-O)

3. Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bad Reputation)

2. Don't Stop Believing (Pilot & Season Finale/Regionals)

1. Somebody To Love (The Rhodes Not Taken)

Don't ask me why I'm doing this. I know time is running short, 4 more days till exam start. Haha. I guess I need a break too. :D

And, for those Gleeks out there, what are your favourite numbers? For others, you might not watch, but you simply must hear the covers. Till then!