2wice

This cannot be happening.

It's too much, just too much. Just when I accepted it as part of me this has to happen. I'm really upset..

It's not confirmed yet but I'll know it, soon. I wish the best for you and as much as I don't want you to leave, I hope you get it; that you may pursue your dream.. I thought there was lots of time; but I guess it's all about to end now.

Less than two months left. Things are going to be different once you're gone. How am I going to cope? What will it be like... I'm confused now; I just feel like I don't deserve this sometimes. And the worst part is that all of this is just the way things are.

(Don't bother trying to understand, just needed to get it off my chest.)

The next few months, there are exams. Trials in 3 weeks; A-Level exams again in June. Coursework needs to be completed and sent to UK by 3rd May. Aunt's going to China for 3 weeks from the 5th onwards. Mum will be coming down here and then but most of the time I'll be left at home and need to take care of the house and dogs too; no one else's gonna help me this time around. Got to make adjustments to so many things... I'm confused about what's going on and I wish it didn't have to be like this. I don't know what to do. I feel lost..... I don't know if I can go on; I don't know if I can handle all that's happening... When I'm already emotionally weak.. Really, so many tests...

But I have a hope, I have a hiding place. You are my refuge.. I'm tired, but its in You my strength is restored....

Isaiah 40:30-31: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.