closer

Every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Every day I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart;
I'm grateful for every scar
Some pages turned;
Some bridges burned;
But there were lessons learned.

I used to ask Him if He could take the pain away. I used to break down and cry helplessly pleading He would see the pain and comfort me. It didn't go away; but He held me through it all. Words cannot express how comforting it was to know that my Father saw my pain; and never once did He leave me to face it all alone.

Now I look back and thank God for every bitter experience I've been through. Even though I can't fully understand why it happened; I know it was to prepare me for something greater...

I finally found out the 'truth'. At least; it's what I'm supposed to believe. Things are still not cleared up; I wanted the truth. But it seems like I've only gotten part of it. Things are still left unsettled; not clarified. I thought it would be; but I was wrong again. Then I decided to do something about it. Cause I won't have the chance to anymore; until I realized things I didn't see before. Things I always knew; but never really applied to me. Things He taught me yet I never really understood. Things I keep reminding myself; but never really tried to follow..

In the midst of confusion, brokenness and despair; I told him I didn't understand why. He was silent. And then.. He said..

I want you to have the best.. Would you allow me to give it to you?

I'm still feeling the sting. It still saddens me at times. I feel used; feel like I've been tampered with... But all this only brings me back to Him; brings me nearer and nearer.

I've been lying to myself for too long... It's time to come back.

We don't need the answers to all of life's questions. We just need to know that He knows what He's doing. He's our Father after all.

Jesus, You're all I need.